Calvin :)

Another cute one!!

Poignant words

Pyaar koi bol nahin, pyaar awaaz nahin
ek khamoshi hai, sunti hai, kahaa karti hai...

humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushbu
haath se chhoo ke isay rishton ka ilzaam na do
sirf ehsaas hai yeh rooh se mehsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do...

Making a difference!

I was supposed to catch an early morning flight back to Pune from Chennai today. I reached the airport exactly one hour before the take-off time i.e. at 4.30...yep I reached 4.30 in morning. As soon as I went inside I stood in this long queue for screening the check-in baggage. It was a sluggishly moving line & mostly because passengers of almost 3-4 airlines had to stand in the same queue to get their baggage screened in that single spot. The next queue was to get a boarding pass and check in the check-in baggage. And it was moving very very slow. On top of it, to increase my frustration, I saw a guy (well actually a well educated man of about 35-40) cut the line of the second counter and directly move in the front with 13 bags to check in & to collect 13 boarding passes! And the worst part was that nobody in that line objected!! I mean COME ONNNN!!!!!! I finally got my boarding pass and sighed in relief, cos I knew the next part was simple and does not generally take much time. I was supposed to go for security and then board my flight.

But again, just when you think things are going well, we all know life has a way of screwing things for us. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There were two (not one but TWO!!) very long queues for security, encompassing almost half of the HUGE lounge. And as luck would have it, I went and stood into just the one which was progressing slowly. I mean its not like I felt the other queue was moving faster, but it was in fact moving faster! I saw our very own policemen do the job of a monitor of class 3rd here, as they were asking people to form a single straight file and trying to stop people from cutting in and go ahead. I mean, they are supposed to be there for security purposes not to discipline the passengers. It’s high time we learn to stand in queue and respect people who are already standing there patiently. You are not the only one in a hurry man!! After an excruciatingly long & painful process of standing in the queue and watching people try to cut in and trying to not let them do that without getting into a row, finally I cleared the security check. As I had already guessed there would be queue to board the flight too, but it was fast-moving and progressed without much hassle (thankfully!). After I finally arrived to my seat and sat there looking out the airplane window to see other planes gearing up to fly in the dim morning light, I reflected on whatever had happened in the last forty-five minutes. I sadly realized that this was happening everywhere. I mean people in India are always looking to cut through any & every queue (physical OR virtual). Instead of doing their jobs, the police of our country have to invest time to discipline a bunch of well-educated citizens, who are in fact just literate but not really educated as they claim to be. And that’s when I decided I am going to write about this. This is a thing that happens with us almost everyday. Sometimes we are the victim, sometimes even the culprit. Sometimes we protest, sometimes we don't. And this post is my effort to make a change in our attitudes, because I believe in this country and it’s potential. I believe that this is a great nation and we can & are moving ahead and this is my contribution to its improvement. I don't want to just sit and crib about what is wrong. And this is my way of making a difference (apart from dissuading people who try to cut in ;)). I will be happy if reading this makes even one person change, because I will know I have not just sat and cribbed but actually gone and done something to make it right. So anybody who's reading this, please please don't do this. Please respect that other people are waiting too and it’s for our own benefit that we follow the rules and discipline. And just imagine, by your little patience you may be making a great difference in the bigger picture!

Cheers!

Everthing is fake

I would like to apologise before starting off this post...as this is another one which falls under my "thinking & depressed" phase....

Anyways...I was just going through my orkut scraps....and suddenly (i dunno y) I thought I'll check some very first scraps of mine. Reading those scraps, I felt how things change over time...how people change! Lately, everyone (except a few) seem to have dropped from this "fake-all-the-time-about-all-the-things" land, where they just show that they are oh-so-concerned when with you, but don't give a damn as soon as your back's turned to them. I mean I may be wrong here....but sometimes it just feels like that. And then it feels so so lonely...as if you can't rely on anybody! I wish I could really see through people.....and know them....and figure them out...so that I can avoid doing and thinking so many things and save myself from so much hurt....

Oh I just wish........

Feeling miserable...

The time when nothing in life seems to go right, not even your own actions, thoughts and words. Now is that time for me. I am feeling betrayed. My closest friend did not trust me enough. Is very happy & excited about something which is just freaking the hell out of me (& he has no clue why?), and in return I have unleashed my reckless tongue on to him!I am worried like crazy about something...didn't even sleep properly last night (and that's a big thing because there are very few things that are capable enough to disturb MY sleep). I am feeling very helpless and just want to run away from here. To top it all, now I'm even feeling guilty about saying such nasty things to him (oh! but he IS so freaking me out) !! I'm sorry :(

Its better if I take my leave from this place, so that it is peaceful for some time!!

Something about Love

An excerpt from the book – Oliver’s Story (sequel of the famous “Love Story” by Erich Segal, both are absolutely beautiful books)

I really like how “love” is perceived in this –

A little background- the hero (Oliver) is recounting. He has lost his wife (college sweetheart) – Jenny, whom he was totally and madly in love with. So much that he couldn’t move on for whole of 2 yrs after her death…and in some ways still misses her. He’s in another relationship right now with Marcie/Marce but somehow he’s not that happy and is trying to analyze why…

What the hell do I know of relationships? All I've ever been is married. And it doesn't seem appropriate to make comparisons with Jenny. I mean, I only know the two of us were very much in love. At the time, of course, I wasn't analytical. I didn't scrutinize my feelings through a psychiatric microscope. And I can't articulate precisely why with Jenny I was so supremely happy.

Yet the funny thing is Jen and I had so much less in common. She was passionately unimpressed by sports. When I watched football she would read a book across the room.

I taught her how to swim.

I never did succeed in teaching her to drive.

But what the hell — is being man and wife some kind of educational experience?

You bet your ass it is.

But not in swimming, driving or in reading maps. Or even — as I recently had tried to recreate the situation — in teaching someone how to light a stove.

It means you learn about yourself from constant dialogue with one another. Establishing new circuits in the satellite transmitting your emotions.

Jenny would have nightmares and would wake me up. In those days, before we knew how sick she was, she'd ask me, genuinely scared, 'If I can't have a baby, Oliver — would you still feel the same?'

Which didn't prompt a knee-jerk reassurance on my part. Instead, it opened up a whole new complex of emotions that I hadn't known were there. Yes, Jen, it would upset my ego not to have a baby born of you, the person that I love.

This didn't alter our relationship. Instead, her honest qualm provoking such an honest question made me realize that I wasn't such a hero. That I wasn't really ready to face childlessness with great maturity and big bravado. I told her I would need some help from her. And then we knew ourselves a whole lot better, thanks to our admissions of self-doubt.

And we were closer.

'Jesus, Oliver, you didn't bullshit.'

'Did the unheroic truth upset you, Jenny?'

'No, I'm glad.'

'How come?'

'Because I know you never bullshit, Oliver.'

Marce and I don't have that kind of conversation yet. I mean, she tells me when she's down and when she's nervous. And that she worries sometimes when she's on the road that I might find a new 'diversion'. Actually, that feeling's mutual. Yet strangely, when we talk we say the proper words, but they trip out too easily upon the tongue.

Maybe that's because I have exaggerated expectations. I'm impatient. People who have had a happy marriage know exactly what they need. And lack. But it's unfair to make precipitous demands of someone who has never had a . . . friend . . . that she could trust.

Still, I'm hoping someday she will need me more. That she will maybe even wake me up and ask me something like:

'If I can't have a baby, would you feel the same?'

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Beautiful, isn’t it? Simple and Beautiful!!

I wish people wouldn't force their loved ones into being them, but rather appreciate the differences and love each other FOR it.

Cheers!