Weird alert

Before I get into that - Merry Christmas! Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend :)

And now for the actual post. So, I saw a random tag going around the Blogosphere and decided to pick it up! The tag is to list weirdest things about your other half (I like to think I'm the better of the two halves, hence the use of "other". I tried to think of ways to put this in less boastful sounding statement, but then again why hide the real me from you. Our (you-blog world and me) relationship is based on trust and the truth is - sometimes I show-off).

Thankfully, M won't be doing this tag, cos I bet he will have more weird things on me, than I have on him (Like - she is strangely delusional about how awesome she is).

I think the original tag was just listing facts, and somewhere along the way "weirdest" got added to it. I am fine with it either way! ;)

Anyway, enough chit-chat. Here we go -
1. M can break into the most random songs that he is the lyricist as well as the composer of. Like yesterday, I was mad at him and after some back and forth on the peace treaty, he went into the kitchen to heat up frozen Rotis for us and promptly broke into a - "She really hates me right noooooow....but she really loves meeeee...so what should I dooooo". I sat outside listening to it, trying not to laugh. This is not the first time, in the span of 3 years I have heard counless such compositions, that make no sense and range from cute to super annoying.To me that's really weird...Who does that?

2. M doesn't know how to tie his shoelaces. Or to be more specific, how to tie his shoe laces for one of the shoes. I swear, every time we are walking to some place just one of his shoe's laces will come undone every 5 minutes.

3. M is super scared of canines. Even little puppies.

4. He looks different in every photograph. Not kidding. If I go back to see his pictures for the 3.5 years we have been together, I cannot find one picture that looks the same as the other. My friends and parents had a hard time picturing what he looks like before they met him cos his pictures are so drastically different.

5. Crazy fan of SRK. Like worse than even teenage girls are for Twilight. He was excited for Don 2 for more than a year I think. I am afraid to watch the movie with him, in case he squeals in excitement when SRK first appears.

And now I will go and hide somewhere until M can forget that I "exposed" him so openly to the blog world. In my defense, I was feeling lazy and couldn't think of anything else to write about! I am sure everyone has already done this tag, but if you have not, feel free to pick it up! I would love to read it...

PS: Yesterday, we took a trip to ikea and I snapped pictures of some cool ideas! Will share them with you very soon!

Long overdue story

A few thousand years back, I had promised to come up with the story of "Meet the parents", and why it's such a bad idea for me to go through with it. Now, after several thousand years, here it is -

Yes. I met his parents (obviously, since we are getting married now!!See the more I say it, the more I accept it). And before I go into anymore details of how it went, we will travel through time a bit (No, not just because. There's a reason I promise.).

So let's rewind to some months back in time. In my defense I did not even have any business being there. I was only tagging along. There I am sitting in the living room of a friend's brother, who's just had a baby. Let's call him "Bhaiya". (duuu-uh). And his wife(newborn baby's mother) - "Bhabhi". (super duuu-uh). Anyway. I could not find out for sure, but she definitely looked not more than 26. Alright? so now use your imagination. There I am visiting them for the first time. And there we all are - my friend, couple of other friends, me, Bhabhi, baby; all laughing, cooing at the sweet kid. And suddenly, out of nowhere, God alone knows why in the world, Bhabhi goes - "Aap log kuch lenge, kuch chai yea cold drink?". I mean why? Why would she do that to me?

You want to know why it is so terrible? Ok, I'll tell you why. Because I replied this - "Nahi nahi Aunty, don't worry, kuch takleef mat kijiye!!!" Duuuuude, I called that girl barely an year older than me AUNTY!!!! Imagine my embarrassment! OMG. And reading many mommy blogs did not help, as I knew, right around this time - she would have been also dealing with post partum depression, relatively low self-esteem, and such like! Now I was feeling super embarrassed AND super-duper guilty. Eventually I did go and apologize and to her utter amusement, explained my stunted social skills and awkward behavioral syndrome as the reasons for the "unfortunate accident". Thank God I did not drop her baby after all this.

This was exhibit 1.

Now lets forward to two weeks ahead (we had traveled back, remember? we are still in the past of now, for all who think we are looking into the future). I am invited by this friend over dinner, since his parents were visiting and are leaving in a couple of days. I am meeting them for the first time. He(my friend) has of course invited like 15 more people, and there I am sitting in living room - full of people who I am seeing for the first time! Just for fun imagine you are a deer and it's night time. You are going along happily on your way without a care in life, and suddenly out of nowhere you are blinded! There's more light than even in daylight, and of course you freeze. Did you imagine the deer's face? Good. Now put that face on mine, when his dad asks me a loud question across the room - "Where do you live beta?".

Disclaimer: Not only am I very awkward in social situations, I go mute when people talk to me across the room because then everybody can hear what I say. Ok back to the question. Simple enough right? Wrong. (Background: He's visiting US for the first time has no clue about any area in Boston) And so I stuttered my way to utter embarrassment - "I live at 42 Symphony Rd, Apt 5". And the moment I said that I realized how dumb must I sound, so instead of clarifying I just shut up! Fortunately - M came to my rescue and saved me by saying that's near our school. (Maybe that's why you need someone by your side. See another good reason to get married).

And there are many many other similar stories, but all this time travel has made me time-travel-sick so I'll summarize by saying these were reason enough for me to freak out of my wits. Cos I was not just meeting his parents, I was meeting his uncles, aunts, their children, and then their children. You get the picture. Long story short - it went well. I might or might not have had a Cosmo before meeting them. Although I was quiet for the most part, I mostly did not talk crap when I was asked questions. Maybe God was finally cutting me some slack (at the right time too!) after all the crap He released into the universe through me. Or maybe, just maybe I am not socio-phobic (is that a word? I'm too lazy to google) anymore. Yea right?!

Later folks!

Typical day...

...these days is very much like those forwards that all of us have read -

1. Wake up, check mail.
2. Brush teeth, if time permits get coffee/cereal, check mail.
3. Study, apply, read, check mail.
4. Rush to take a bath, get ready, check mail, run out of the house (remember to take a jacket, Fall is here; but forget to have lunch)
5. Come back home, starving, check mail, stuff myself with some junk
6. Check mail
7. Check mail
8. Sleepy, try not to fall asleep(actually rarely am I trying, I am almost always sprawled on the bed even before feeling sleepy), check mail.
9. No mail :(
10. But still, the eternal hope does not die, so check mail & go to sleep
11. Wake up, check mail..
12. You get the picture!

Sayonara

Is this for real?

That's what I thought in my head when I saw a friend request on orkut from my mom. Yea that's right - my mom. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the request. I called her up to confirm if it was really her or someone playing a prank on me. Turns out it was her. She was all chill about it, like yea I joined orkut, now I can keep a watch on you even there, watcha gonna do, types. Actually no, all these were my thoughts. She actually was all cool about it in a way like yea, I've been surfing the net for some years now, writing mails, booking movie, train, flight tickets, googling for things, didn't you see this coming? And she's right. I should have.

So what did I do after confirming it was her who sent the request. I scanned my profile, pics everything to see if there's anything that might offend her. Yea I know, she's all modern in a way to book movie tickets online, google "remedy of insomnia", sms her friends on friendship day and join orkut, but she still freaked out after watching Love Aaj Kal, and was questioning me if it was true that couples today really do all the "stuff" shown in the movie. Trust me I had a hard time trying to change the topic!Damn you Imtiaz Ali. It's weird with moms. One moment they are all modernized what with - "you should wear what you want", "it's okay that you left your previous boyfriend and now have a new one" and "oh I am okay with it.. live with boys if you have to", and the next one they are all "I am very shocked at what they showed in Love Aaj Kal, it's abominable and shameful, I hope you know what I am saying". Phew.

But they are adorable. Just so cute. And lately I am realizing so human:)
In fact if I was being interviewed by CNN and asked to name one human being I am most proud of? It would be this one. My mom. And she does not earn it just by being my mom. No sir. She earns it for being the extra-ordinary woman that she is. I haven't met anybody else who learnt and mastered swimming at the age of 50. Or who learnt to sms or surf the net all on her own(I did not teach her one thing about it). Or who is and always has been the sole point of contact between the rest of the members of family. A great manager-material wasted I would say.

It's not mother's day. Neither is it her birthday. It's just the day I am again reminded of how blessed I am to have her as my mother. And also the day when my mom joins orkut. I think I am going to scan my Facebook profile just in case she catches up with me there too. And thank god I am not on twitter yet!

Later.

The other end of the spectrum..

Remember what I had posted a few days back about relationships & how to make one work...
Well, yesterday I saw the other end of the spectrum...aka...M :)
It went something like this -

M - I read on your blog, that you are sad since your conversation with S...What's wrong...?

Me - Nothing, just that we had a sad conversation...

M - About what?

Me - Just the world..and what a bad state it is in...and how people are so difficult to deal with....and how they can be so irrational at times....and about love and relationships...and how just love is not enough to hold a relationship together...

M - Yea...that's true....you also need lust....

LOL!
How can you not laugh at this? Obviously which is what he aimed to do with his statement anyway...! It's too funny.... :)

PS: S is my very very close friend & roommate....

Later!

Have you ever noticed...

...that Shammi Kapoor used to act like he has to pee really really badly, in most of his songs....huh??I believe he was pretty popular...I wonder why?? Has nobody else noticed this?I mean even his expressions are sometimes like that, and that pose, with one leg bent, up and close....you get the picture!

Have a wonderful Wednesday evening!

God save the Wall Street!!

“This disparate treatment, unappealing as it is, appears unavoidable,” Mr. Bernanke said(about pouring hundreds of billions of more taxpayer dollars into financial companies — especially when other industries were getting the cold shoulder.) “Our economic system is critically dependent on the free flow of credit.”

And still they send me atleast 2 mails of free credit cards, every month! What is with these guys?? Do they act dumb, or are they just plain that!

Gawd!

What women want?

PS: Wrote this a long time back too. I think - 01/03/2008. Thoughts still the same on this one though as opposed to this.

For years men have been asking the question - What women want?
Do you know why men still have not found an answer to it? Because it's frigging wrong question to ask in the first place! The question is not what women want.....the real question is what is it that the woman wants?

I myself never gave this even so much of a fleeting thought before...Why did I think about it now? Because I started wondering what is it that I want? I started talking to my friends, what is it that they wanted? I realized its all different. Not only is it different, it is also dependent on who the guy is. Interestingly, expectations keep changing as the focus changes. [I don't think this is that true though, basic needs of a woman (with a huge emphasis on A or THE WOMAN, for all those guys who read this - never generalize with women) never change].

Have fun! ;)

Whacky stuff

A dull rainy day. A slow lunch in company. Does this:

When a man falls from first floor, he goes-
Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

When a man fall from eighth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!!
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And then finally
When a man fall from fourth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! :)

And this:
Sensation of tension = Tensation :P



Later!

Little Bobby

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at
school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved
to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his
behavior over the last year.

"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for
your birthday."

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God
a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God, This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year
and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote
a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will
be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom
that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had
worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner,"

Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked down the street to the church on
the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He
looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up
a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and
ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his
room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper
and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO

Calvin strikes again!!

And how...!!! :P