To make a relationship work

So, soon it will be a year of me being in a relationship. A second one. Not that I am proud of admitting I have been in more than one, but neither am I repentant about it, obviously. Sometimes things just don't work out. And I consider myself really really lucky to have found somebody, again.

So what makes it work, or not work?
From what I have learned till now, hiding you feelings, drowning your voice in lieu of not hurting the other one, and not giving yourself the due importance you own, NEVER works. And even though it seems like it, it wasn't so obvious for me.

So, if you are looking to absolutely not make it work(for what reason, I don't care), follow this religiously -
1. Suffocate the other one, by instructions, nagging, and questioning them on their thoughts, actions, hobbies, habits.
2. Try to change them, by telling them to goto gym, making them listen to your type of music, making them watch your type of movies, making them do what you like, making them eat what you like, making them wear what you like, asking them to change their values and pretty much mold them into what you want, and don't care if they lose their individuality and happiness meanwhile! You got what you want, who cares!
3. Insult & fight with them, over things they do differently. Mock their values, and thoughts. Ridicule their opinions.
4. Completely ignore what they like.
5. Give priority to everybody except them.
6. Don't trust them! Display your distrust, in public!
7. Also make sure to make no sacrifices for them, what-so-ever.
8. Doubt their capabilities, and do NOT show support & encouragement in difficult times.
9. Discuss your relationship problems with everybody but them.
10. Most importantly, keep pretending that things are going fine!

On the other hand, if you do want it to work, some things, which at least for me are really important are -
- Give each other the due space, not just in life, but in habit, way of life, hobby, activities.
- Give each other the freedom of thought & opinion.
- Respect each others' opinions, and learn to live with them, if possible learn to love & appreciate the beauty of difference.
- Take time to show your appreciation of this difference in thoughts, habits, hobbies, by adapting it once in a while. (for girls - if it means cracking fart-jokes, do it!) (for guys - if it means shopping whole day, go for it!)
- Learn to love, show-off your affection, even in public. (I never had to learn this, tho! :P)
- Learn to assert and put your foot down, for your loved one, even in front of your family, if need be.
- Appreciate the little sacrifices, you both make for each other. I always thought only the girl suffers on the friendship front with her girlfriends, but I realised, so does the guy with his friends.

Apart from the above and some other obvious ones like trust, faith etc etc....it also takes a lot of patience. No two people are same. Can never be. Learn to love the things you don't like about them. Learn to be patient. Also, the thing that is most needed, and almost always ignored, is reassurance. And its needed by both, not just the girl.

I swear I did not pick this out of Cosmo, but I sure do sound like it. And even though these have been iterated time & again, I felt I wanted to note them down. I don't know if a year is enough to judge where a relationship stands. I guess if you are happy, then you are good.

I just want to tell you M, that I am very happy (touch wood) with you. I love you. And I love your singing too, just don't land us behind bars for it, and we'll be good! :D I know we started off roughly, but since then you have made sure we don't sway :). I know and you know, how paranoid I was(sometimes I still am), how difficult it is for you sometimes to shrug off my past, how angry your past actions make me still, but despite all of this we have lasted almost a year(about a month short)!! Yaay for us!! It does not scare me to say that I want to see many more milestones with you. No wait, I am EXCITED to see them!! And also, love you for always always putting my interest before yours. And also being patient with me, with all my tantrums & complaints! And finding me beautiful & sexy when I myself don't feel like it. And wanting to know me inside out, beyond & above anyone has ever ventured to know. And trying to do that. And dreaming for me, dreaming for us. And....so much more....!

Also, stop goofing around and finish "The Kite Runner". And teach me Tennis. Also don't question me about this post. Cos with us, we have an edge due the natural chemistry we share! :)

And lastly - touch wood, touch wood, touch wood!!

For you -

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

Underneath Your Clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose,
There's my territory

- Shakira, "Underneath your clothes"

Edited to add - No more "happy anniversary, awww" mushy comments please :) they are just umm..too mushy!! Saurabh you were the first one so you are excused!! Comments on the rest of it, most welcome :)