I was going through some old chats (from about 6-7 years ago) and realized just how much I have changed. And being mildly obsessed with lists, I wanted to know exactly how...
Then - I was innocent to the point of being naive.
Now - Obviously not so anymore...
Then - I had lots of friends, who I loved talking to and hanging out with.
Now - I have a few select friends that I spend most of my time with...
Then - I had faith in life, I thought it's all going to fall into place and that life is beautiful.
Now - I still think life is good, but I see the bad with the good, and I don't always have faith.
Then - I thought the universe revolved around me. I loved talking about myself.
Now - I hate talking about myself and my feelings. Sometimes though, the universe does revolve around me :)
Then - I was more forgiving. Though less open to differences in people.
Now - I am less forgiving, but open to differences in people.
Then - I cared about my friends, sometimes even more than my family.
Now - Family comes first no matter what.
Then - I was carefree, and didn't worry much about anything.
Now - I only hope to be that carefree, but can't seem to get there, not even when I am on vacation.
I could go on and on, but probably the most striking difference is how innocent I was, how non-sarcastic compared to what I am today. I wonder which "me", I like more. I want to say I really liked the old me, when I was more open to being hurt, more open to life. But really, I am quite okay with the way I am now. I protect myself by hiding behind my sarcasm and refuse to share my feelings. It seems crude, but it works. It works for now. Thankfully though, some things haven't changed. I am just as socially awkward as before and often caught foot-in-mouth. I am just as rebellious, if not more.
One thing that I could borrow from the old me is all my old friendships and the ease with which I made friends back then. Some friends are missed more than others, some long lost friendships pinch more, not less as the days pass. If I could, I would be carefree and not worry about things that I have no control over.
Evasive and yet there's hope that someday the future me might catch up with the old me. Of course then, the now old me would be known as older me :)
Ciao!
PS - Been long since I posted. I make no promises to post more often, but do hope that I post more.
Then - I was innocent to the point of being naive.
Now - Obviously not so anymore...
Then - I had lots of friends, who I loved talking to and hanging out with.
Now - I have a few select friends that I spend most of my time with...
Then - I had faith in life, I thought it's all going to fall into place and that life is beautiful.
Now - I still think life is good, but I see the bad with the good, and I don't always have faith.
Then - I thought the universe revolved around me. I loved talking about myself.
Now - I hate talking about myself and my feelings. Sometimes though, the universe does revolve around me :)
Then - I was more forgiving. Though less open to differences in people.
Now - I am less forgiving, but open to differences in people.
Then - I cared about my friends, sometimes even more than my family.
Now - Family comes first no matter what.
Then - I was carefree, and didn't worry much about anything.
Now - I only hope to be that carefree, but can't seem to get there, not even when I am on vacation.
I could go on and on, but probably the most striking difference is how innocent I was, how non-sarcastic compared to what I am today. I wonder which "me", I like more. I want to say I really liked the old me, when I was more open to being hurt, more open to life. But really, I am quite okay with the way I am now. I protect myself by hiding behind my sarcasm and refuse to share my feelings. It seems crude, but it works. It works for now. Thankfully though, some things haven't changed. I am just as socially awkward as before and often caught foot-in-mouth. I am just as rebellious, if not more.
One thing that I could borrow from the old me is all my old friendships and the ease with which I made friends back then. Some friends are missed more than others, some long lost friendships pinch more, not less as the days pass. If I could, I would be carefree and not worry about things that I have no control over.
Evasive and yet there's hope that someday the future me might catch up with the old me. Of course then, the now old me would be known as older me :)
Ciao!
PS - Been long since I posted. I make no promises to post more often, but do hope that I post more.
1 comment:
hey Shruti .Nice to hear from you. It's always very insightful to know and measure how much have we changed with time. We are meant to change as specimen ,in fact ever changing , ever evolving and every experience makes us change . If we extrapolate by few years we are going to be different and wiser than what we are today and that means we are only wiser than yesterday but not "wise" in absolute terms.
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