It's official

All the time that you & I have known each other - if there is one thing that you should know about me by now, it's this - I am a bundle of controversial joys (to put it nicely). Like how I hate fuss and creating scene, but myself am a drama queen? So when you read the previous post - yes you thought right. It was about M and me. It was about us fighting. (Gasp! How can she admit it so openly?!) (And it was also a little about drama).

Tangent - I am trying to let my other voice speak too. See I have these two voices in my head like everyone. (If I'm wrong about this don't bother to tell me otherwise). One is the serious me who takes everything that life throws at me in its appropriate seriousness and deals with it like normal people. The other voice though is a little whimsical. It laughs at everything that is serious. And deals with everything else that is normal with sarcasm or something like that. The brackets are this voice.

Anyhoo. (You can ignore me all you want, but I'm not going anywhere). Yes we got into fights. Plural. Ugly ones. Fights that lasted days and nights. Like war. But unlike any other war story this has a happy ending. Somewhat. We both decided not to fight. (Yeah, that worked! Sure!)

Reason. Motive. Why? (Wait for it.........) We are getting married! (Pin-drop silence followed by laughter?) And since I have to be stubborn and difficult every time something changes, I sure as hell did not leave out this opportunity. And you know how I tell you all the stories of how understanding and how co-operative M is? Well he chose this opportunity to be not so. So basically it took long days and nights of discussion, fighting, yelling, to reach a common focus about the wedding. Yes, the reason for the fight was difference of opinion, prejudices and lack of common vision. About the WEDDING! (How much more lame can this get. A wedding? People have bigger problems. Grow up.) And then I remembered what Saif Ali Khan seems to be saying in all the movies that he does - We were perfectly happy till we decided to get married. Makes you think. Made me think for sure.

So why? Why do people get married? I obviously did not want to get married before knowing why I am getting into it. So I thought - why not? I obviously love him enough to want to be around him. I know I enjoy his company. And obviously it gets a little lonely after a while, so why not have someone who is obligated to accompany you! (Ha! You are so evil!). And so kind ladies and gentlemen, we decided to plunge into it with all we have! I will be obviously including you in stories of what happens after. Till then stories about how I am trying to enjoy the fuss that weddings are and how all the fuss is.Driving. Me. Crazy. (Did I tell you I HATE wedding fuss, but that story some other time since we ARE talking about peaceful beginnings called marriages! Ha!).

We are now accepting your best wishes (in CASH ONLY). I will come back with a concrete plan of wedding as soon as it's good enough to be dissected by public eye.

Over and out. (Later b*****s!)

She didn't know what, but something changed...

Why did he turn away?
Why didn't he pull her close?
Why did she see no emotion in his eyes when she was crying hers out?

How could he leave her alone to fight with her worries? All she has is questions that are unanswered and tears that are ignored. She feels alone. Like a crushed soldier in the battle field whose mate has left his side. The point was not what he said. Or did. It is all the words that he didn't say, it's all that he didn't do.

I have news!

Our family has the newest addition - my lovely niece was born yesterday!!! I love her. I loved her from the moment I knew of her existence inside my sis-in-law's tummy, and she couldn't have come out fast enough! I don't even know what she looks like but to me she's the most beautiful thing on the planet. She doesn't even have a formal name yet (kachori & chinti don't quite work as formal) but like my bro said yesterday - this nameless wonder has four fully-grown adults totally captivated and right under her thumb! God bless you sweetheart...I will always love you so so so sooooo much! And I am sorry (and you cannot begin to imagine how sad) that I am not there to welcome you, but I do hope that someday you love me a lot.

When I got the news, I called up Sai (Hi Sai!) who did not wait to inform me that I will soon be obsessed and call home at least a hundred times each day. I laughed it off. I even thought to myself, she's nuts - just because she did it when her nephew was born doesn't mean I'll do it too - I'm not her. And it's true. I did not obsess a lot. Just a little bit. Like when I woke up at 2am last night to drink water, I decided to call home so that I can hear her crying (that's all she does, when she's not crying she sleeps!), but she was sleeping(big surprise huh?). So then I just told my mom to describe in detail every little thing that she had done during the day. After a good half hour, I hung up and went to sleep really regretting the day I decided to come to US. And then when I woke up in the morning, I called up home again to try my luck again and ended up talking to my bro this time asking him to tell me every little thing that she does.

I feel so sad to be all the way over here. I just wish, so wish that I could go home for some time before my job starts to spend some time with this little wonder. Dear Santa - I did not ask anything for Christmas, can I get this wish, pretty please? And no I am crying right now, just a little choked up.

And now I think I'll call up home again. For the fiftieth time! (Just kidding, it's only third in this day).

Later!