The SMS said. From him. I waited 6 years for it before I stopped waiting. Another 3 have passed since then. I moved on. Long back. Don't believe me? Well you have no choice..do you? Anyway...we are friends. Always have been. Except for that brief period that I thought we were something more than friends. And upon asking I was bluntly told it wasn't so. "I never thought that way about you." Okay. Fair enough. Then why the fuck were we acting/talking/behaving the way two people do only when they fancy each other? For more than a month? Talking everyday and every night till very late. Till I tried to confirm things were what I thought they were. Or god knows how long that might have gone on. I don't feel anything for him. But I still feel very much cheated. Even today. Still feel angry at myself and him. As angry as I felt then. As humiliated. Even after these many years. But I still am going to take up this invitation. The hurt & innocent teenager inside me is very much tempted to stand him up. Make him feel at least fraction of the pain that I felt. But I know I couldn't do this to him or to anybody for that matter.
So. I'm going to say yes to an invitation I longed to receive years ago and which now, doesn't have any more effect on me than watching an ant crawl. And try to purge my heart of the anger, not cos I forgive him but only cos any of my emotions are not worth that ass of a guy whom I still consider a friend.
PS: I still think of him as a friend. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I didn't think it would come out so strongly when I started writing. Thought I was just documenting the odd ironies of life. Oh well! :)
In Prabal Gurung
7 hours ago
4 comments:
These fools don't deserve a chance or a glimpse to the love you can shower !!! Shaaa.... I didn't expect each girl to be like this when it comes to the matter of luuuuurrrve!!
Actually, something that I didn't mention on the post and should have is - I'm very glad things didn't go the way I wished them to...I would have been utterly disappointed! I am much much happier with my life today, just the way it is! :)
And yea....we girls tend to be a little dramatic! :P
hypothetically if "him" were to send the invite now, would the feeling change?..I have been one such guy who generally do not look for more than being friends with people, may be he was consciously avoiding something, but still not strong enough to cut the whole thing out..just a speculation
@Rambler - He did send the invite now...and even if this time he wanted what I did back then, it is not going to change anything..!!I am more than happy with my share of life and he's not that cute anymore :P
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