~Me & my cons~

- I feel jealous very very quickly and easily.
- I am very very possessive when it comes to some people and in a bad way.
- I am not good at maintaining personal relationships.
- I am anti-social, in a big big way.
- I don't remember dates, names OR faces.
- I have very very bad memory.
- I lack sensitivity intuition BIG time.
- I can't talk to people unless they talk to me.
- Which means I can't talk to most people.
- I can NEVER talk about my feelings without feeling awkward.
- I hate feeling awkward.
- Hence I almost NEVER talk about my feelings.
- I hate melodrama.
- And yet ironically my best friends are very dramatic! (not a cons just a fact to note).
- I talk too frankly and bluntly(edited from "sharply" as suggested by someone), which almost always hurts people who are close to me. I don't want to change that about me, but I really think I should.
- I am a very confused person when it comes to most things.
Added these as suggested by the same someone-
- I have double standards

Later!

PS: This is not an exhaustive list. More to come later.

Found a quote...

...related to the previous post and mood -
"When you are through changing, you are through."
- Bruce Barton

I don't know what the title should be!

Disclaimer: This is most impromptu post I've ever written.

Today marks the birthday of 2 closest friends. One goes a long long way back, some seven years, and another just two. And yet, I feel I have lived a lifetime with both of them. Seen so many ups and downs...and today I am just glad, to still have them around.

But when I look back, from the time I came to US, life has changed so rapidly in just a span of two years, that its almost impossible to catchup with it and cope. So many friendships made, broken, mended....and some just remain in a limbo...Or maybe I am just in denial of them being broken.

When I try and evaluate, I cannot help but wonder, when did it become so difficult to make and maintain friendships? When did it become a thing that came naturally to me, to a thing that I find myself struggling with today? When did I turn into an anti-social being who cannot keep even two steady friends in life? Or am I just over-reacting?

My mind is just going crazy with questions right now!!
uuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! I hate it!