I miss home...

I’m feeling very lonely. It’s been a week of terrible loneliness as everyone that I hang out with has been busy/away. And the worst part is if I tell my friends I am feeling lonely, a statement which I had stated once about wanting to be left alone, gets thrown right into my face. And then I’m left wondering that if I’m feeling lonely whom do I turn to? I want to go home…I used to think that friends are everything, but now I think that though friends are very very important, but its your family in the end who will stand by you(and also probably wont taunt you about things you said in the past even if you contradict them) no matter what…I guess I better get used to this stupid thing.

I miss home…

Water - The movie

I saw “Water” recently, and that movie really touched my heart. It does not have many dialogues, no exaggerated emotions, no violence, hardly any glossy showy clothing. But yet, it was one of the most effective movies that I saw since a long time. After watching this movie, I felt that to reach out, you don’t need violence, or gaudy, flashy emotional scenes, but what you need is the truth…..simple plain truth, told in simplest of ways. Another significant thing that hit home, was something that Gandhiji has said – “Mujhe lagta tha ki Ishwar hi satya hai, par mein yeh jaan gaya hu ki satya hi Ishwar hai” (“I always believed that Almighty is the Truth, but I have realized now that in fact Truth is Almighty”). And this movie made this statement suddenly so much meaningful for me, and I couldn’t understand why I was so blind to the greatness of it before.

Do watch it if you get a chance...!

Calvin ;)

Do I have to say anything??!!! :D

Let Me Go...

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin' through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me

~ Let me go by 3 Doors Down

The Professional Life....My take!

Sometimes… okay not sometimes, almost always life turns out to be rather a disappointment when you expected otherwise and vice-versa. I never had big expectations from professional life, but it still managed to disappoint me and sadden me. Yes, you earn money. Yes you are independent. Yes, you can do what you want i.e. if you mange to find time. Sitting here in my office cubicle, I wonder where my life is going. I had always dreamt of becoming somebody important, had always wanted to do new innovative things, which I couldn’t before because I did not want to burden my parents unnecessarily. And here I am, after almost 5 months of professional life, I don’t see much that I have done except for reading many books (though that I used to do before also) and write a lot of blogs.

Everyday I come to office to straight faced strangers I see in the elevator and on my work-floor. The only words of “hi” & “gm” (short for good morning) that I exchange is on chat. I talk to people and joke around, but the only people whom I think are not pretending are hardly two or three. Sometimes I get a feeling that all of us are robots sitting in these four wooden walls, not even finding time to go and see the sunset from the balcony or go to a garden perhaps. Robots, who come alive only when they are chatting on Google talk. Robots who seem human only on weekends. I am afraid that I will turn into one of them. There’s a lot of pretense and strangeness in the air. And it suffocates me and makes me think do I really want such a life. Do all these people want such a life. Isn’t there more to life than eating, sleeping & working?

And while I am at it…Just wanted to share something that I found, something that can only be read about :)

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
" Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. "

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "
Sorry, I really prefer it this way. "

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.


THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, " I like your style " and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, " Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it. "

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as " Bob. "

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you " really have to go do a
number two. "

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in " The report's on your desk, Mon. " Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, " Shut up, all of you just shut up! "

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, " As God as my
witness, I'll never go hungry again. "

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: " See how I
look in tights. " (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your
boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, " You wanna
trade? "

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: " Do
you hear that? " " What? " " Never mind, it's gone now. "

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, " I can't
talk about it. "

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and
act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Calvin :)

Another one for before the week ends!

Things s/w engineers come up with...

Recently I observed that we the s/w engineers have found a new way of entertaining ourselves, apart from checking mails, chatting & watching miscellaneous funny spoofs in flash :)

Me and my friend came up with quotes of our own (our own does not mean that we keep them on our googletalk status but that we made them up!) -

Falling in love is like free fall; once you start falling not much can be done to break it! - me

Life's a very good lesson, unfortunately by the time you learn it, you can no longer use it. - me

There are more people trying to pull you down than wanting you to go up. So, Effort>=force of gravity! - Deep

Wine, Women and Wealth - The three vices of (un)successful men! - Deep

More of these later...as soon as we again get bored from all the mails, chatting and flash spoofs!!

Cheers!

If it was possible...?

I was wiping my white board, and a thought crossed my mind - What if I could wipe my life like this & start afresh..or atleast wipe out the things which I don't like, things which now as I look back, wish had never happened, things which I feel have given me a lot, but caused even more pain...What if this was possible....?