Fighting with yourself...

Isn't that something, that all of us do, or are made to do, at one point or another. I have seen it closely, a little too closely. Day in and day out, living with yourself, and hating yourself. It's not nice. So many people, so many relationships, so many conflicts and so many milestones. Some good. Some bad. Some trivial. Some crucial. Some not given so much as a thought even. And some, pondered, wondered, churned over till your insides felt they would bleed. So many thoughts, so many doubts. So many opinions, and so many judgments to face. In the end, all you can do is buckle up good, believe in yourself, and love yourself, just like you loved that beautiful pair of shoes, which gives you the worst of sores but the best of compliments? After all, who knows whether what happened was good or bad? After all, isn't all we do, is only obey a command from up, up above? Then why hate yourself. Then why fight yourself. And why believe what people think of you? Why not believe what you want to, and move on to new horizons? Why not make new memories and erase the bad ones? Why not just stop fighting with fate, life and most importantly yourself? Why not just enjoy the here and now? Why not?

What the hell is going on?

Well for one, I'm back in school. And may I just say - it sucks! Whoever said, student life is the best time of your life, obviously did not do their masters in US of A, that too in a period of recession. Its back to the world of assignments, and deadlines, and working even after 6 in the evening. Sometimes even overnight! But its okay, this too shall pass, and I think sooner than I want it to.

On a different note, the reason why that title appears so strong is because, I'm freaked, appalled almost, at the thought of how old I am getting. I feel old because everyone around me is either getting engaged or married. It's just too much. I am still a kid. How are girls my age even thinking of getting married already??!! Now this seems like a controversy, right? I think I'm a kid, and I am feeling old. But thats the thing, I know I am a kid. But all these happenings around me make me think, something's terribly wrong with me, which in most cases is not a very pleasant thought to have. So....thats the other things thats going on!

But all in all, I am (dare I even say it?) happy. Cool with my life as of now. (Touchwood!!)
:)

Peace.

"Hello Ditcher!"

Said my friend on the phone, when I called to ask her when we all roomies were going for dinner? Agreed I was late. I had a date with "someone", and I had told them I'll join them after I meet him. And in all fairness to everybody(and mostly to me ;)) I did plan the date thing way before this dinner plan came up. And I tried to make it there too. And I did, although a half hour late than the suggested time of turning up!

All I'm asking is, why am I the ditcher?? If I said no to my plan with him, I would be as much of ditcher there as I was being called here. Then, why? Why is it that a girl has to choose and be a ditcher at some place. Why can't she rely on both parties to understand and co-operate since obviously they are both important to her, and she tries her best to be with both. Just that, there are some things like existential crisis, when it comes to existing in two places at the same time, which is not really covered under the wide arena of capabilities that humans possess. Why is it even an "issue" I don't understand. And in all fairness (to me) I will do as I wish, and I shouldn't have to answer anybody. Because I have learned it the hard way, doing what you don't want to do, never makes you even one bit happy.

So to all girlfriends out there, in both senses of being one to a guy and being one to girls(and I don't mean this in a lesbian sort of way, for all you perv-minded) - please do as you please, cos when it comes to being happy, nothing else can make you as happy, and please cut your friends some slack, its hard enough trying to balance a life with boyfriend and friends, but don't make her choose between the two. Don't put her through it. Remember it could be you too!

Peace!

God save the Wall Street!!

“This disparate treatment, unappealing as it is, appears unavoidable,” Mr. Bernanke said(about pouring hundreds of billions of more taxpayer dollars into financial companies — especially when other industries were getting the cold shoulder.) “Our economic system is critically dependent on the free flow of credit.”

And still they send me atleast 2 mails of free credit cards, every month! What is with these guys?? Do they act dumb, or are they just plain that!

Gawd!