Hello World!

Coming from a technical background, I don't think I have ever used this title and it's really surprising! For all the lucky people who don't know what I am talking about, "Hello World" is the first standard program you write to start learning a new programming language. Exciting (not!) stuff.

However (I am loving this word these days, btw. Suddenly it has a High-Class appeal). Anyway.

However, I am not here to talk about my technical background or random words that are high on my to-use list  (communicate, set expectation, bullsh*t etc.) these days. I am here just to say - Hello! (Another frequently used word currently).

Lets make it quick and painless shall we? I have exactly one thing to talk about today - An update from our bedroom and it involves a cozy comforter!

Not much to say about it, except that I bought a new cover for it recently. I have been trying to buy a decent one for months. One, they are really expensive and two, I wasn't sure what print is universal enough to go with my printed bedsheets. And then the light bulb went off - STRIPES! Stripes usually go with all types of prints and I set myself to find an affordable striped duvet cover. I saw this one online on West Elm Sale for $49.99. I wasn't sure if I wanted to pay for shipping so I just called the nearest store to see if they had it in stock and if so could they hold it for me. They did and they could! And what's even better is I ended up getting it only for $35! Winning!! It was a match made in heaven and I really love it! Take a look -

I really love how it ties so well with our Map! And that my dear folks, is the latest update from our bedroom. Which can be shared.

See you later, alligator!

The bright side!

"The only advantage in not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are."

 Eleanor Roosevelt, "My Day" Syndicated Column (June 7, 1939)
(Via Real Simple magazine)

Reasons to smile

#1 Your 2-year old niece talks to you on the phone and even says "love you" back!

#2 You take your eyes off the Zumba instructor for about 30 seconds and still manage to stay in sync.

#3 After feeling tired for countless days, suddenly you don't want to collapse into bed as soon as you see one!

#4 A boring book suddenly takes an interesting turn!

#5 Going to a mustache party and have your hubby comment - "You look like Bhagat Singh".

#6 Going to a mustache party!

#7 The house is relatively clean, but even when and if it's not (like right now), not letting it bother you, cos you can always do it tomorrow!

#8 Going shopping for clothes and finding something you like on the first trial.

#9 Friends. And M. And most of the family ;)

#10 Being able to subscribe to 3 magazines for just $4 (and 600 miles)! Not being able to contain yourself till you start getting them!

Paradise

If this doesn't describe my state of mind, I don't know what does. 

Addicted to it.

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

Dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on

It gets so heavy

The wheel breaks the butterfly

Every tear, a waterfall

In the night, the stormy night

She closed her eyes

In the night, the stormy night

Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise

- Coldplay

Where did she go?

Where did she go? The innocent, cheerful girl, who started this blog seven years ago. Who thought that nothing was impossible in this world. Who was too romantic to believe in practicality. Who wanted to travel the world, travel to a new country and make a mark there. Who was little enough to not really understand what responsibility means but old enough to think she was responsible. Who was truly happy, without thinking too much about what happiness really means, where it really stems from. Whose world was wrapped up in her friends.

Where did she go?

I wish she had stayed. I wish she had never left. But no matter how deep I search within myself, I cannot find her. Worse, I can't even find a way to bring her back. Everyone says, life keeps moving forward. I'm not sure if that's necessarily a good thing. I want my life to move backwards, to a simpler time, a simpler life.

4 weeks ago, on a Sunday my mom told me, she had been seeing my father's heart doctor and is going to have to have a heart procedure urgently. That Thursday, when she told me it was scheduled for Saturday, I was sitting on the plane that afternoon, on my way. I have never felt so scared, so lonely in my life. The roles reversed. Suddenly, I had to grow up and be what my mom is always to me. A rock, a support, the grown up. The girl, seven years ago would have spilled out all her fears and the thoughts that went through her mind here. Me, I am too scared to even think them again.

Ever since I came back to the US, I have been waiting to feel normal again. Even though things went fine, and my mother is better now, I can't seem to get back on track. Nothing helps. I feel disinterested in any and everything. Mostly, I feel angry. If I am not angry, I feel depressed. I don't feel like doing anything. I don't even know why. I guess I do know why. Such vulnerability in life has left me shaken, and I can't seem to get out of it.

Please bear with me, as I try to steer my life, my mind and my heart to a regular rhythm. Please keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers.