Okay that is not at all related to what the post is about except in a very subtle way. Rani tagged me for - "FIVE lesser known facts about me" (I assumed, by me she meant me and not her!) Okay okay..I'll cut the crap and state them now....
Hold your breath. Okay don't. I will. Here goes.
1. At one point in my life people thought I was a lesbian.
So why? Well cos -
- I was in an all girls college & all girls hostel.
- I was and still am a very shows-my-affection-openly sorta person - so hugs and kisses even to girls are normal.
- I was in all girls college, so people did not have enough gossip floating around.
And the strangest thing of all is - everybody knew I had a boyfriend, and still they thought this. I think since then I have changed to this neurotic person with a complex of people. That's right. I was very outgoing and friendly before (my parents still think I am), but now I am just plain scared to interact with people, not knowing what they think of me. Yes, it may seem funny now, but it was pretty traumatic - all the negative publicity and dirty "details" that my friends told me people are telling each other. It was ugly. I was too innocent to imagine people could think like that.
And here's my disclaimer - I am not saying being gay is wrong/bad/abnormal. To each his/her own. You are the way you are, and good to be what you are.
My only point is - Negative rumors and hearing horrific details about one's 'lesbian' acts are not a nice supplement for your teenage. Even though you know you are not wrong, you feel ashamed, scared and guilty. I still feel horrible thinking about it, and have told this to very few people in my life(despite half my hostel knowing). I have never written about it, and I don't know if I ever will. But this incident took a hard blow at my self-confidence. I laugh at it now, but it was anything but pretty then.
2. I am terrified of turning 25.
I never planned this but I had assumed turning 25 would bring wisdom and maturity along with more successful life. I don't expect they will be arriving in a month if they haven't till now.
3. I freak out about how my life will change after marriage and kids.
I don't want those changes.
4. I love Bombay.
I have spent the best years of my life there. I am just not sure if I can take it for a lifetime.
5. I want to get into full time social service some time in my life.
And sooner rather than later.
Phew. That was tough.
So now who should I tag for this....hmmm?
I tag M, Rajita, Rambler.
Have fun guys! :)
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10 comments:
1. Must have been tough. More power to you for getting past it. Teenage can be a very cruel time.
2. I was too. Mostly because I had so many things to do before I was 30 and realized that I had only 5 years to finish them!
3. Marriage might not change your life so much. Depends on what terms you get married on.I think you'll like it. But kids will change you through and through. Especially our generation who don't usually even imagine having kids till they actually do.
5. Right with you there..
hey..you are just 25?? wow that looks young now..
and you dont want marriage and kids?..does it mean you want a relationship but not a marriage?
1. Shruti, being affectionate is ok, but did you at any time imagine yourself kissing another female in a hot way? That mite have given u an indication, one way or other ..
2. Age doesn't bring any maturity. I am older than you and a dork, and I know it perfectly well. You bring maturity when you realize that your life is basically over!
3. Your life wont change. Be a kid with your kids. Will be fun.
4. Chuck Bombay. Come see the world babe! You'll realize that everything is the same shit anyhow! The clue is people. The ones you read in novels, do they exist out there?
5. You want to get into social service? Please!!! You mean you want to give yourself up for a "nobler cause"? What's more noble than being young and sexy at heart?!! If you want to listen to any valid advise in these 5 points, its this baby -- JUST LIVE FOR YOURSELF and ENJOY LIFE !
Quit worrying about the future. There's a time for that, and it will happen when it comes (which is Never, because all that there is, is TODAY!!)
Ok nuff said.
^
I lol'd at the comment above. ia w/ #5.
@Avanti -
1. Thanks :)
2. Tell me about it. It's time I start to plan what I want to do with myself. I don't want to wake up one day, realize I am 40 and still in the same state! :P
3. My only problem with marriage & having kids is - I am not sure if I am ready for any of it yet!
5. :)
@Rambler - Maybe. Yes, for now. I am enjoying my relationship. I am happy. I am not sure if I can handle change as big as marriage yet.
Sounds scary, but for now, I am happy just to be in a relationship without the responsibilities of marriage. I am happy knowing I still belong to my parents' home. I wish I could always belong there :)
@kundu - Thanks for all the advice that you have so generously showered upon me. And I wish I agreed with you on any of it, but I don't :)
Thanks anyway!
@morty - Quit being a wannabe! :) Wat the hell is morty you freak? Your name is Amortya!:P
And m glad at least my comment section was a source of entertainment for you. You're welcome. And like I said, I don't agree with what you agree with! :)
Hello, hello .. I'm glad I could provide some entertainment ... Shruti, thanks for answering that ... wasn't expecting any replies !!
I just landed on your blog and said the first thing(s) that came to my head ... (lots of them actually) :)
Glad to know that u disagree in general :) Abt point 5 though, I think I am right ... anyways who am I right?
But thanks for answering :)
And glad to meet you.
@kundu - I realized just now, never replied to your reply!
So. You're welcome, for whatever you are thanking me for. And now it's too late for the formalities...after all the comments you left here..haha...just kidding, but yea no need to be formal!
Glad to meet you too, thought I still don't agree about any point! :D
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