Broken thoughts..

Darkness and cold. Lost and lonely. Desperate and hopeful. Distance and doubts. Sad and strong. Brave and defiant. Submissive and devoted. Prayers and faith. Bargaining with Him. Arguing and Negotiating.

Love. Family. Life.

The ironies that aren't funny!

My brother, who lives in a developing economy comes home from work at 10 pm, and sis-in-law who works from home finishes at 10.30, can walk into the living room and have food readily prepared on the dining table.

M &I, who work (and currently live) in a developed economy, come home from work at 9.30 pm and have nothing to eat.

Some ironies aren't that funny ha? Don't feel sorry for us though. We did have some "theplas" in the freezer that we were able to enjoy! ;)

In some other news - the weekend blended into this week so quickly, I did not even realize! This is going to be a long, busy week. But I am going to try my best to not bring home work this coming weekend! Touch wood. I just realized, that there are only 3900 weekends (out of which almost half are gone). I am determined to make the best of remaining 2000 I have left! 

Snippets of my (very random) thoughts

I feel really proud when my American colleagues travel to India for work and always describe their experience as amazing/scary. I am sure they are being kind to me, and that traveling to India evokes many more emotions in them - like pity of poverty, fear of traffic, flabbergasted(-ness) at the number of people, and many many more. Why do I feel proud? Every time someone tells me that, I remember this incident that happened to my sister. Born and raised in Indore, Madhya Pradesh, when she went for an MBA-entrance interview for a high end college in Mumbai, she was asked this question (no doubt by some snotty Mumbaikar, who thought everything starting from Borivali and the rest of the India is nothing but so-called "backward"  India) - "Why should we admit you to this school? Coming from a small town (since when Indore is "small", I have no idea, cos I always feel lost there) to Mumbai, how do you think you shall cope?". My sister, a proud Malwi, answered - "because, the difference between me and Mumbaikars is, I can come here and learn your ways, easily fit into the fast life, but if one of you were to go and try the same in Indore, you wouldn't stand a chance". Ha.

You can't be everywhere, and you can't do everything. It's that simple, and yet my mind refuses to understand this simple piece of information. I feel extremely stressed right now. Since Tuesday, my housekeeping started going down the hill. By Friday, the sink was overflowing with dirty utensils, the bedroom was covered in clothes lying everywhere, the dining table was full of "stuff", and the couches were all a big mess of cushions, throws, papers, measuring tape(?) and remote controls. I have not swept the house for 2 weeks now. Don't even get me started on the bathroom. AND I have a LOT of work stuff to catch up to this weekend. On the bright side though, I went to the Gym twice this week and spend some quality time with M yesterday.

Me: Shruti, you can't be everywhere, and you can't do everything!!
Me: I know, but I cannot live in this mess, but I also don't want to spend the entire weekend cleaning, and working.
Me: Just suck it up... 

Gentlemen who golf

"She figured out early what every man with a corner office has long known: To make it to the top, you need a wife. If that wife happens to be a husband, and increasingly it is, so be it."

"Seven of the 18 women who are currently CEOs of Fortune 500 companies—including Xerox’s (XRX) Ursula Burns, PepsiCo’s (PEP) Indra Nooyi, and WellPoint’s (WLP) Angela Braly—have, or at some point have had, a stay-at-home husband."

"At-home dads are sometimes perceived as freeloaders, even if they’ve lost jobs. Or they’re considered frivolous kept men—gentlemen who golf."

Says this article. Although it may, on the surface look like a good way of repentance for men, the question begs to be asked - Isn't this creating the same problem all over again, but this time with men? Won't there be a generation of men, sometime in the future, struggling to find their feet in the woman's world, while trying to manage household stuff at the same time. And even though at some level, my evil self would love to see it happen, to be completely fair - it's not fair. Is it not possible for both spouses to have a high-flying career AND a life AND a family? Is that really too much to ask?

I think what needs to happen, and what is slowly but surely taking place is, both need to own equal parts of the responsibility of earning the moolah, but also taking care of family and home. If that is not possible or feasible, then something about our attitude needs to change that makes the person who stays at home feel like this - 

"Caring for children all day and doing housework is tiring, unappreciated work that few are cut out for—and it leaves men and women alike feeling isolated and diminished."

Staying at home and taking care of children, is also what my mother did, and I respect and appreciate her for that. That is an important job, important enough to leave a job that pays, and it deserves it's due respect. But what is that change that needs to be made to make the person (man or woman) who now does a full time job of caring for home with no weekends, or paid vacation, feel the significance that they deserve?

Thoughts?

Check!

Hola! Hope you guys had a nice weekend! I did!

This weekend, I am proud to say I was able to check off one more thing off my list! You guys must feel so irritated by me, cos I have been going on about the list for like ever. Well, like I mentioned, I am obsessive. And the item I crossed off this weekend has been on my things-to-do list ever since we moved here. So yeah,  for almost a year now. What, I just have been really busy being lazy.Anyyway, lets focus on the positive, that this project has finally seen the daylight.

So let's get right down to what I finally accomplished -

Find and install a "devghar"
I was hoping to finally go went to Target and get got a small shelf to hang under the kitchen cupboards, but that never happened!

That was probably confusing to read ha? Basically, long story short, I finally got my sweet behind to Target and bought a small shelf that will fit on the wall under the cabinets and not block my microwave.
Take a look!

And I am not trying to show off but I also managed to check this off - Finally donate the stack of books set aside to be donated a few months ago
That too on a weekday! Thanks to a very helpful friend. To my utter disappointment, the library refused to take all the books, so I had to recycle some. Such a shame.

And just so you guys don't think I have turned into a total religious nutso, I want to share some awesome ideas I wish I had found, before I created my photowall -

My Photo Wall

I did not search online at all when I thought of doing this, but I wish I had cos I found some pretty classy ways of making a photo wall, much better than clipping some photos to a ribbon. Oh well, the good thing is I can always take my photos and implement these ideas -

 Make A Stylish Photo Frame For Several Photos

Decorate A Boring Blank Wall With Photo Mosaic

DIY: Cheap and Easy Photo Wall

Very easy and affordable ideas! Love them! :)

Faith

I woke up this morning, and grew up a little. Usually, I listen to pandora or dhingana.com while getting ready for work. This morning, I found it too inappropriate to listen to "Ooh la la", in the face of a beautiful sun rise. Instead I searched for bhajans and bhaav geet and listened to those. I was never a big fan, but today the soothing sound, restored a little bit of faith I had lost recently.

While growing up, I remember waking up to the sound of bhajans many times, as both my parents though not deeply devotional in a conventional way, are very spiritual. Although I didn't fully appreciate it then, it maybe the most pleasant thing to wake up to. Especially when the mind is full of chaos.

One of my favorites is this one by Ajay-Atul, sung by Shankar Mahadevan -

Words are not enough

What do you say to someone you're close to when they are in so much pain, that you can practically feel it half-way across the world? No words can ever convey the way your heart wrenches, every time you think about them. All I have been doing is having conversations in my head so far, and even those don't go well. Even in my head, I am not able to express the grief I feel, or make them feel any better. All I can do to keep breathing, when I feel I will choke myself thinking why it has happened, is remember what my Mom told me - "We are too close to the picture to understand why anything happens. He knows what's best for us because only He can see the big picture."

Some one very close to me is going through a really tough time. It's extremely unfair and they don't deserve it, nobody does. Please keep them in your prayers and thoughts.

Bedroom fun!

This isn't what you think. I am not going to reveal funny stories (or any other story) of M & me from the "bedroom", not that anything funny has ever even happened. Really. No funny business. And before I completely bury myself into this self-dug-grave, let me start over. Remember I promised to bring you glimpses of my home, when I showed you my kitchen. Well, here's more of the series. Before I get into the "good" stuff, a lil background is in order - I am obsessive. Most of the time, my obsessions are short lived. But sometimes they become a part of me. That’s what has happened with me and my home.

These days (since several months), I obsess about my apartment being clean and organized. I love coming up with creative and less-expensive ideas to keep my home organized and make it more beautiful. Furniture is expensive in the US, and furniture shops (read ikea) are really far. It is impossible to buy stuff without spending a boat load of cash. It is even less possible to have it custom made, cos that might lead to bankruptcy. People DIY here. I was skeptical with the idea of it. Painting chairs myself? Are you kidding? But then I had some free time and nothing to do at one point in my life. I got into it, and have been in love with it ever since! I am still learning, but I love my projects (even the ones that failed).  This is one of the projects that I finished in April last year.

We had just moved to our new apartment in March and the older bedside tables (ikea lack table) were not working in this new space. I did not want to spend too much money buying new ones, cos well they are expensive (even $25/table makes it $50). I decided to wait and do some research, look at some pictures and see if I could think of a solution. I looked at this picture and loved the minimalist bedside shelves -

Source

I wanted to do something similar, and I took a trip to ikea (disclaimer: I just love the store, I don't get paid to write ikea so many times on my blog, though it wouldn't hurt :>). I was browsing through the store when I saw this - 

Source

I bought two of these at $6.99 each. Bought a stain color (can't remember which),  that matched our existing bed, a polyurethane can and a paint brush, all of which must have cost around $12. And then I went to work. I stained the box with at least 3 layers of stain between drying (it's a thin ply so it kept soaking up the stain) and two layers of polyurethane. At this site, I had read the tip of sanding between coats, which really worked. I hung them on each side, along with some cute lamps and ended up with this - 

Moving right on (past the crinkly bedsheet) - our bed does not have a headboard, cos when M bought this bed (it's his originally), for his "bachelor pad", he thought this one looked very manly (Men!). To add some color and interest I bought this, cos I love maps, this is what our bed area looks like now -

I love it! That fact that the bedside tables cost a total of $26, and the fact that I love them more cos I DIYed them adds to all the fun! :)

I have some favorite sites that I read everyday (like this, this, this and this), and they inspire me. These sites are also where I learned how to paint, decorate, organize etc (I didn't know the first thing about even holding a paint brush) and get most of my ideas here! The learning process continues and there is a long way to go. And these are my proud baby steps :)

That's all from my bedroom for now!

Everyday life and a beautiful thought

Yesterday evening I read this. When I went home I told M (in almost an accusatory tone of what have you done?) "You know one of the blogs I read, her boyfriend (now husband) came all the way from US to India for one day just so he could be with her on her birthday". M, completely understanding my implication, without a pause said "Don't you mean her boyfriend *went* all the way from US to India for one day just so he could be with her on her birthday"? 

And now that the daily dose of amusement from my life is over, this wonderful blogger (who also happens to be one of my coolest aunts) sent me this, saying she read this and thought of wishing us :) - 

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

Made my day!

Wordpress or Blogger?

I was trying out Wordpress today for fun. I moved all my posts there. I thought I would get so much more sophistication with Wordpress, but I really didn't. Or maybe I am just not used to it yet!

Also it seems to have screwed up the formatting of my blogger posts :(

I have a question to all the wordpress users out there - why do you use it? do you like it? what do you like about it?

I need heeelp!

Taking stock

I made a list of things to accomplish in my 10 day holiday, (which is now very very sadly coming to an end) and I want to thank the blogosphere, cos if it weren't for the fear of losing face in front of the blog world, I wouldn't have done even one of these. But I am proud to say that I was able to cross off a lot in this list. Let's see shall we?

1. Sew the button on M's jacket, fix the zipper on it too
It took me only 8 months and 15 minutes to finally do this!

2. Find and install a "devghar"
I was hoping to go to Target and get a small shelf to hang under the kitchen cupboards, but that never happened!

3. Buy a new mattress
Went to ikea and bought one, and also a new comforter (and a bunch of other stuff ;))

4. Finally donate the stack of books set aside to be donated a few months ago
Hopefully soon!

5. Finish painting letter 'S' and hang it somewhere
This too!

6. Figure out a way to DIY frames for inspirational cards I've been collecting, and find a place to hang them
Bought frames from ikea, cos they are so darn cheap there, and hung them too. The cards say - "Be Colorful", "It's a world of possibilities" and "Be Bright". All of these are marketing cards from AT&T, Vera Bradley, that I have been saving to frame and hang some inspiration around the home! I finally decided to hang them in the bedroom over the drawers.

This last one was a greeting card of some sort. It has Ganesha face on it, that I hung in kitchen! :)

7. Vaccum the entire house (yes, it's been a couple of weeks since I did that :( )
Done!

8. Craiglist some extra furniture lying around the house
Now just waiting for buyers to pour in!

9. Sleep a lot
I kind of went above and beyond on this one ;)


10. Go to the library and borrow some books and finish reading them
I cheated on this a lil bit, I borrowed from the digital libary, so didn't technically "go" anywhere and still reading the books -

11. Hang a clock in every room
I tried to do this one, and could not find the spare clocks I thought I had :(


12. Watch episodes of "The Dewarists"
I was too busy doing number 9 most of the time, never got to this one..haha


I did some other stuff too, that was not on my list - 
- Threw a New Year's Eve party at my place complete with the decorations and party hats!
- Made a photo wall for "the year that was" as a tribute to the first year of my marriage that ended yesterday (the first year, not the marriage). Yes, my anniversary is on January 1st. There are photos for each month signifying what we did that month. Everyone was really amused with it in the party!

- Celebrated my anniversary, by going to a nice Moroccan restaurant where we enjoyed - delicious food, some awkward moments cos a belly dancer came and danced at each table (mostly on my part, M & the dancer seemed very comfortable) and some mind-blowing music! We also went to a fondue place to enjoy some molten chocolate dipped goodies! During the day we enjoyed a 3-hour Siesta after partying till late the previous night! 
Sidenote - When I told one of my friends, she seemed disappointed with how we spent our day. I asked her, what did you think we would do, bunjee-jumping, and she said yea, something more exciting than dinner. Ahhh, the naivety of being single ;)
This is us, ready to go out and have fun - 

And here's the amazing belly dancer teaching me some moves - 

That's all from me to account for the holidays and the new year. All in all, I think they were very well spent! How was the new year's eve and the new year for you?