Everything has a story. Budding love has a story. Broken up love has a story. Long lost love has a story. Meeting your best friend has a story. Getting your permanent job has a story. I have most of these stories except for the last one. And right now I am trying to walk through one. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. But like every story it has disappointments, rejections and depressions! That part of the story sucks. Doesn't it? I know. I am hoping it ends soon for me. There's also discussion, anticipation and palpitation part left in it. After which I am hoping (with fingers of both hands & toes of both feet & both legs crossed) for the celebration, exhilaration and relaxation(as in breathing a sigh of relief) . Annnyway. I will keep you guys updated about my status with this. Yes I will. So what if you find it boring. It's not a rosy picture all the time is it. That's right it's not. Okay stop arguing already!
In other bit of news I am at home in India for a fortnight!!!!!!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I am so enjoying every moment of this (apart from the walking through the afore mentioned story bit) :)
And I have finally decided to come clean and declare that I too am a shopaholic after I read the confessions of a fellow shopaholic Rebecca Bloomwood from here. It's good to know you are not alone.
So guys...what's your "story"? Are any of you shopaholics? Please share. Me needy some spirit-lifting!
Ciao.
Showing posts with label freaked out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freaked out. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I am just so mad!
That I am not even feeling guilty about sitting in front of someone,wishing bad things for them while they were speaking to me!!
I know. It's not right. I am a bad person. Okay, I'll take back whatever I wished, but if you were in my place you would do the same. People can be so f**king unreasonable and unfair, that you can't believe they are human and not just some animal. Frigging B*****d!!!!
On a much much different and happier note Avanti has tagged me for two tags :)
I will do them as soon as I get some time, which I am really falling short of right now thanks to certain f**king someone!!
Later!
I know. It's not right. I am a bad person. Okay, I'll take back whatever I wished, but if you were in my place you would do the same. People can be so f**king unreasonable and unfair, that you can't believe they are human and not just some animal. Frigging B*****d!!!!
On a much much different and happier note Avanti has tagged me for two tags :)
I will do them as soon as I get some time, which I am really falling short of right now thanks to certain f**king someone!!
Later!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
On being late...
No not the late you think. Okay wait...Let me start from the start....
The other day, my mom and I visited somebody. Who? That's not important. The thing is - being in Chennai, my mom has no friends, relatives here and she gets bored. She tries everything to make herself busy in activities of her interest. Now, there's a group called "Maharashtra Samaj" formed by Marathi people. They are putting up a skit. And my mom saw this as a good opportunity of keeping herself busy as well as meeting new people. It didn't work out. Why? Not because she can't act, as she has won prizes for her acting skill in her college days. And if you want another proof , then maybe you should see me act someday (ahem!). I get my acting skills from her! So why did she get rejected? Because she was late. She was 20 years late for that role. That role was for a 30-year old woman. But 20 years back my mom was so wrapped up in taking care of us, she could not find time for herself. And now when she has time, time is gone. Is this one of the little jokes of the so called Life? It's NOT funny!!!
Why does a woman have to sacrifice her life, her hobbies, her interests. Does she feel less? No I think it's because she feels more! And please don't give reasons like "thats-how-it-always-has-been" or"because-she's-a-woman". They are just crap! Utter crap! Why is it, that when a woman sacrifices her job, her career, her life its only expected from her; and when a man does it, people shower him with accolades?
Is this fair? Is this right? Is this how life of a woman should be just because she's a woman?
And let me tell you something ironic - this role was available only because the woman who was supposed to play this role cannot give time as her kids' exams are coming!!
I wish I could make a difference!
The other day, my mom and I visited somebody. Who? That's not important. The thing is - being in Chennai, my mom has no friends, relatives here and she gets bored. She tries everything to make herself busy in activities of her interest. Now, there's a group called "Maharashtra Samaj" formed by Marathi people. They are putting up a skit. And my mom saw this as a good opportunity of keeping herself busy as well as meeting new people. It didn't work out. Why? Not because she can't act, as she has won prizes for her acting skill in her college days. And if you want another proof , then maybe you should see me act someday (ahem!). I get my acting skills from her! So why did she get rejected? Because she was late. She was 20 years late for that role. That role was for a 30-year old woman. But 20 years back my mom was so wrapped up in taking care of us, she could not find time for herself. And now when she has time, time is gone. Is this one of the little jokes of the so called Life? It's NOT funny!!!
Why does a woman have to sacrifice her life, her hobbies, her interests. Does she feel less? No I think it's because she feels more! And please don't give reasons like "thats-how-it-always-has-been" or"because-she's-a-woman". They are just crap! Utter crap! Why is it, that when a woman sacrifices her job, her career, her life its only expected from her; and when a man does it, people shower him with accolades?
Is this fair? Is this right? Is this how life of a woman should be just because she's a woman?
And let me tell you something ironic - this role was available only because the woman who was supposed to play this role cannot give time as her kids' exams are coming!!
I wish I could make a difference!
Monday, July 16, 2007
It was one of those days....
When ...
- you wake up early morning to drink a sip of water, and happily dream of how since the last of guests are leaving today, you can relax and have the whole house to yourself and watch TV whole day or surf the net.....and then when you actually wake up later dad comes and tells you Mom(M) & Bhabhi(B) (sister-in-law) both are down with high fever.
- Okay...u think, I've just been reading a book on positive thinking and this is just a minor setback, and can be handled. Guests leave, dad leaves for office, Bro leaves for office. You take M & B (whose condition has visibly deteriorated) to hospital, only to find that there is lots of crowd(everybody chose to fall sick today!), the cashier is not available (which is the first step to meet the doc, get any test done or whatever - pay for it!) and people are speaking nothing but Tamil so it takes you or them to repeat things at least twice so as to undertsand each other.
- Waiting for your turn you find yourself runing behind rude hospital maids to switch off various fans as M & B are shivering! After meeting the doc you find yourself again doing this and more running to get injections as you wait for the blood sample to be taken from both, and an injection to be given to both. M&B's condition keeps deteriorating. You are on verge of tears.
- While coming home you remember, you left your 85 yr old Granny(G) at home who must be all worked up due to worrying by now, and you also have to cater to her along with M&B.
- You spend the whole day running around after these 3, to give medicines, to give them juices (Doc has happily prescribed a liquid diet), give granny food/tea/juice/snacks after every 2-3 hours.
- Some people who had told they would be your roommates, tell you suddenly to F*** off, only with sugar coated words. You come to know that one of them said "I don't think I can live with her" (and you wonder whats wrong with me...heck she doesn't even know me!Gaawwwd!), and suddenly you find yourself in a "back to square one" condition, but now the time is running out.
- You are on the verge of tears again. Life seemed better until now even though you had to cook dinner single handedly, handle (rather manhandle) M&B to force them out of kitchen & assure them that you can take care of things, listen patiently to all the instructions coming from G,M & B. At least there weren't any people who said they don't think they can live with you.
- You realise the positive thinking book has had an effect cos even though you feel bad, keep feeling bad, but don't sulk or cry but try to find a solution & while doing that, also decide to post about it. :)
- You realise as you sign off, today wasn't so bad since you were able to manage pretty we-eell...except for the "namak-kam" daal & sabji! And the sour thought at the back of your mind that somebody doesn't wanna live with you, even without knowing you. That person has managed to form judgement of you just by sitting across you in Barista for one evening without even speaking to you. And you realise you yourself on the other hand have spent your entire life trying to justify wrongs of people and trying not to judge them. And you also realise, that you want to keep doing that, cos thats the way it works for you :)
And you doze off to sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
- you wake up early morning to drink a sip of water, and happily dream of how since the last of guests are leaving today, you can relax and have the whole house to yourself and watch TV whole day or surf the net.....and then when you actually wake up later dad comes and tells you Mom(M) & Bhabhi(B) (sister-in-law) both are down with high fever.
- Okay...u think, I've just been reading a book on positive thinking and this is just a minor setback, and can be handled. Guests leave, dad leaves for office, Bro leaves for office. You take M & B (whose condition has visibly deteriorated) to hospital, only to find that there is lots of crowd(everybody chose to fall sick today!), the cashier is not available (which is the first step to meet the doc, get any test done or whatever - pay for it!) and people are speaking nothing but Tamil so it takes you or them to repeat things at least twice so as to undertsand each other.
- Waiting for your turn you find yourself runing behind rude hospital maids to switch off various fans as M & B are shivering! After meeting the doc you find yourself again doing this and more running to get injections as you wait for the blood sample to be taken from both, and an injection to be given to both. M&B's condition keeps deteriorating. You are on verge of tears.
- While coming home you remember, you left your 85 yr old Granny(G) at home who must be all worked up due to worrying by now, and you also have to cater to her along with M&B.
- You spend the whole day running around after these 3, to give medicines, to give them juices (Doc has happily prescribed a liquid diet), give granny food/tea/juice/snacks after every 2-3 hours.
- Some people who had told they would be your roommates, tell you suddenly to F*** off, only with sugar coated words. You come to know that one of them said "I don't think I can live with her" (and you wonder whats wrong with me...heck she doesn't even know me!Gaawwwd!), and suddenly you find yourself in a "back to square one" condition, but now the time is running out.
- You are on the verge of tears again. Life seemed better until now even though you had to cook dinner single handedly, handle (rather manhandle) M&B to force them out of kitchen & assure them that you can take care of things, listen patiently to all the instructions coming from G,M & B. At least there weren't any people who said they don't think they can live with you.
- You realise the positive thinking book has had an effect cos even though you feel bad, keep feeling bad, but don't sulk or cry but try to find a solution & while doing that, also decide to post about it. :)
- You realise as you sign off, today wasn't so bad since you were able to manage pretty we-eell...except for the "namak-kam" daal & sabji! And the sour thought at the back of your mind that somebody doesn't wanna live with you, even without knowing you. That person has managed to form judgement of you just by sitting across you in Barista for one evening without even speaking to you. And you realise you yourself on the other hand have spent your entire life trying to justify wrongs of people and trying not to judge them. And you also realise, that you want to keep doing that, cos thats the way it works for you :)
And you doze off to sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Ghosts from the past still haunt me sometimes!
Has it ever happened to you, that there was something/somebody that you felt very strongly about in the past, and suddenly something/somebody else comes up, who reminds you of them so very badly, that all the feelings come rushing back and almost torment you?!
This happened to me very recently. I spoke to somebody concerning some work, and his voice was so much alike to certain somebody in my past, that I have to control myself from blurting out anything stupid! After I start talking to him, I have to make conscious efforts to remember that he's not the one he sounds like! And after I've hung up, I feel so so sad, remembering my past....
Has this ever happened to you?
This happened to me very recently. I spoke to somebody concerning some work, and his voice was so much alike to certain somebody in my past, that I have to control myself from blurting out anything stupid! After I start talking to him, I have to make conscious efforts to remember that he's not the one he sounds like! And after I've hung up, I feel so so sad, remembering my past....
Has this ever happened to you?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Is it just me?
A friend (say S1) came to stay at my place yesterday night and we were cooking dinner. We started discussing about food and how different people cook in different ways(I know pretty lame but what else would we do while cooking....)
Now, to give a little background-her marriage is fixed & she was telling me about the kind of food they prepare at her in-law's place. The following conversation took place. It is in marathi(translation provided) -
S1:
Arre tyachi(her fiance) aai, majhya aai sarakhach jevan banavate...fakt thodya bhajya veglya karte.....ti vangyat danyacha kut taakte.....etc..
(His(her fiance) mom, cooks food the same style my mom does...except for some vegetables that she cooks differently.....she puts groundnut powder in eggplant.....etc..)
Me:
uuhhh...uuhhh
(Nodding along)
S1:
mala tevadha fakt shikava lagel...
(I'll just have to learn those things that she cooks differently)
Me:
changala aahe na mag!
(that's really good then!)
Me(thinking inside):
Shit!shit!shit! She is soo ready to get married! She's jus an year older to me. Look at me, I cannot even imagine eating something that tastes & is cooked differently from what my mom makes. It freaks me out to even think that I have to learn stuff formally from a Saas (mother-in-law) and cook like her. (I was pretty much freaked out even then!)
It suffocates me to think I have to go live wth a new family and call them my family...follow their rules & regulations...behave like an adult, mature person...know stuff about running kitchen & house...be ready to hear things from in-laws patiently...not be a rebel that I've always been and probably always will be...
OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!!!!!!!!
Relax Shruti.....breath in-breath out, breath in -breath out, breath in-breath out....
phhheeewwww!
I think I might have died just now due to suffocation....but I'm okay now!Anways...so in the end I'm thinking, is it just me who freaks out like this?Is there no one else?!!
Now, to give a little background-her marriage is fixed & she was telling me about the kind of food they prepare at her in-law's place. The following conversation took place. It is in marathi(translation provided) -
S1:
Arre tyachi(her fiance) aai, majhya aai sarakhach jevan banavate...fakt thodya bhajya veglya karte.....ti vangyat danyacha kut taakte.....etc..
(His(her fiance) mom, cooks food the same style my mom does...except for some vegetables that she cooks differently.....she puts groundnut powder in eggplant.....etc..)
Me:
uuhhh...uuhhh
(Nodding along)
S1:
mala tevadha fakt shikava lagel...
(I'll just have to learn those things that she cooks differently)
Me:
changala aahe na mag!
(that's really good then!)
Me(thinking inside):
Shit!shit!shit! She is soo ready to get married! She's jus an year older to me. Look at me, I cannot even imagine eating something that tastes & is cooked differently from what my mom makes. It freaks me out to even think that I have to learn stuff formally from a Saas (mother-in-law) and cook like her. (I was pretty much freaked out even then!)
It suffocates me to think I have to go live wth a new family and call them my family...follow their rules & regulations...behave like an adult, mature person...know stuff about running kitchen & house...be ready to hear things from in-laws patiently...not be a rebel that I've always been and probably always will be...
OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!!!!!!!!
Relax Shruti.....breath in-breath out, breath in -breath out, breath in-breath out....
phhheeewwww!
I think I might have died just now due to suffocation....but I'm okay now!Anways...so in the end I'm thinking, is it just me who freaks out like this?Is there no one else?!!
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