Paradise

If this doesn't describe my state of mind, I don't know what does. 

Addicted to it.

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

Dreamed of para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Para- para- paradise

Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl

She expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on

It gets so heavy

The wheel breaks the butterfly

Every tear, a waterfall

In the night, the stormy night

She closed her eyes

In the night, the stormy night

Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise

- Coldplay

Snippets of my (very random) thoughts

I feel really proud when my American colleagues travel to India for work and always describe their experience as amazing/scary. I am sure they are being kind to me, and that traveling to India evokes many more emotions in them - like pity of poverty, fear of traffic, flabbergasted(-ness) at the number of people, and many many more. Why do I feel proud? Every time someone tells me that, I remember this incident that happened to my sister. Born and raised in Indore, Madhya Pradesh, when she went for an MBA-entrance interview for a high end college in Mumbai, she was asked this question (no doubt by some snotty Mumbaikar, who thought everything starting from Borivali and the rest of the India is nothing but so-called "backward"  India) - "Why should we admit you to this school? Coming from a small town (since when Indore is "small", I have no idea, cos I always feel lost there) to Mumbai, how do you think you shall cope?". My sister, a proud Malwi, answered - "because, the difference between me and Mumbaikars is, I can come here and learn your ways, easily fit into the fast life, but if one of you were to go and try the same in Indore, you wouldn't stand a chance". Ha.

You can't be everywhere, and you can't do everything. It's that simple, and yet my mind refuses to understand this simple piece of information. I feel extremely stressed right now. Since Tuesday, my housekeeping started going down the hill. By Friday, the sink was overflowing with dirty utensils, the bedroom was covered in clothes lying everywhere, the dining table was full of "stuff", and the couches were all a big mess of cushions, throws, papers, measuring tape(?) and remote controls. I have not swept the house for 2 weeks now. Don't even get me started on the bathroom. AND I have a LOT of work stuff to catch up to this weekend. On the bright side though, I went to the Gym twice this week and spend some quality time with M yesterday.

Me: Shruti, you can't be everywhere, and you can't do everything!!
Me: I know, but I cannot live in this mess, but I also don't want to spend the entire weekend cleaning, and working.
Me: Just suck it up... 

The Eternal Optimist

Inspired by this post I decided to make a list of my own. Digression - Did I tell you I have a 10 day holiday coming up between Christmas and New Year's? End of Digression. Yes. Are you jealous? Don't be. I will tell you in a minute why you shouldn't be jealous. M does not get those days off, so we can't really go anywhere. I was trying to plan a trip with a friend, who does get those days off, but we never ended up planning anything. So, basically I have a 10 day holiday with nowhere to go. I refuse to add "and with nothing to do", to the statement. What does that leave me with - things to do. Yes. Things, that I have been putting off for months, must get done. Here we go -

1. Sew the button on M's jacket, fix the zipper on it too.
2. Find and install a "devghar"
3. Buy a new mattress
4. Finally donate the stack of books set aside to be donated a few months ago
5. Finish painting letter 'S' and hang it somewhere
6. Figure out a way to DIY frames for inspirational cards I've been collecting, and find a place to hang them
7. Vaccum the entire house (yes, it's been a couple of weeks since I did that :( )
8. Craiglist some extra furniture lying around the house
9. Sleep a lot
10. Go to the library and borrow some books and finish reading them
11. Hang a clock in every room
12. Watch episodes of "The Dewarists"

This may seem less, but trust me, after I sleep in late and nap in the afternoons, read in the mornings between the sleep schedule, watch episodes of "The Office" on Netflix, cook meals, blog and hang out with my got-the-10-day-break friends, there will be little time left to finish everything. But someone wisely said - Aim high. And so I will. (Also why this post is called - the eternal optimist)

Wish me luck!

Profound thought for the day!

And you bettah hear me cuz it don't hit me everyday sistah!

Ok so now that that's out of my system. Phew. Anyway, it hit me in the shower, just like all great ideas do...based on my day today - You cannot keep waiting for the right moment to take the plunge. Like you cannot keep saying I am going to do it(whatever it is that you want to do) when I have a new house, enough money, more friends etc.You just have to go ahead and do it. Take the plunge. Dive into it. Immerse yourself. You know, get the picture? And no I'm not talking about swimming here. (Gotcha!)

And yes, I know what you're thinking (I can read minds). This? I already know this? What's new in that? Well I'll tell you what's new. Nothing really. I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this today/tonight.
Go. For. It. No matter how big or small .

(Although I would suggest start with small. Also this blog and it's author are in  no way responsible for the ill consequences of this advice, even though we are open to receiving gratitude. In cash.)

Seriously. Do it. Also, here are some steps on how to "go for it" -
Step 1: Figure out what it is that you want to go for.
Step 2: Think of consequences that might affect this blog or it's author.
Step 3: If there's anything that you thought of in step 2, goto Step 1.Else goto Step 4.
Step 4: Go for it.

If you want more redundant algorithms on how to go for it, please contact the author. (It will cost you.)

Later!

PS: Seriously, Go for it! :)

Can't stay away for long!

I am getting this itch to write something, and my empty head gives me nothing to write (unless you want to hear me crib some more? No, right. See how well I know you!).

So this interesting tag I picked up from Rani.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Well, it has happened more than once. First time I couldn't get over it. The next time, I just said - Shit happens. And I moved on.

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Find a job that I love. Buy an apartment for aai-baba. Own entire closet(s) for shoes, and have enough money to buy all kinds of shoes!!!

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
There are too many people to list here!

4. What would do with a billion dollars?
Stop looking for job. Start apartment hunting for mom dad. Go shoe-shopping, all around the world! yaay!

5. Would you fall in love with your best friend?
I did. The trouble was he didn't ;) But I would say - you can't really know if you want to be with someone you "date" them.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both, ideally. Being loved the way you want to be loved, and loving someone the way they want to be loved is a rare find though.

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
I can't wait. I am very impatient.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Well. Forget about him. Delete him from my orkut, facebook and my life. Life's too short!

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Education.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
Ummm. I am sure as hell not disclosing that! :)

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Tricky question. But one thing I know - I want to be with M after 10 yrs too. It would be interesting to see what new quirks he develops and what happens to the ones present right now!

12. What’s your fear?
Of losing my close ones.

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
almost-to-be-married-single & poor-turned-overnight-rich?

14. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
Someone who can love me back. Yes, I am selfish that way.

15. Would you give all in a relationship?
Give all. Take all.

16. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Still trying to. Just as someone else somewhere might be trying to do the same for me.

17. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Single. No, in a relationship. No wait - single. Naaa - relationship. Ooops - Didn't mean to tell you'll my biography!

So who wants to do this one? M - obviously you. Avanti you? (whenever you find time)

Okay. Can't think of nemore bakras! :) Whoever else wants, would love to read your answers... muhuhahahahahaha

Sayonara.

Woohooo!!

The Time Traveler's Wife movie is here!!

I so hope its good!!!

I am excited!

Someone wrote "placebos"

I don't even know what that means. And I don't even want to find out. I mean it really does sound like - amoeba or something.

Anyway...this morning suddenly my frustration lifted, while I was reading this. No not the review, the actual book. I was reading the actual book. And I thought, if that kid survived what he was going through, surely my situation can only help me become stronger and more resistant in life. And probably teach me to not let people get to me.

So many things come to my mind that I could write about which slip away before I can find time enough to even make a note in my head. These last few weeks of summer - when it actually feels like summer - keep slipping right out of my hand, except for a few moments like - my scream stuck in my throat when I sat in scream. Or like - after a long day of continuous working - how a friend telling me that she was putting on body wash instead of body lotion for a week, made me laugh like a mad woman. Laughter does help de-stress btw!

Obviously, by now you must have realized there's no real point to this post. And if you are not going to read, I am not going to write any further. I do have self-respect you know!!

Later dude!

Rare piece

I am in love with the song AND the video.
Watch.Listen.Relish.

It's surprisingly accurate!

Though I haven't watched the movie....the short description sounds quite correct.....

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

There's something about....

So, I am sure, the area where I work...there's a serious derth of women. Otherwise how the hell do explain, another guy asking me out in the week following this. Right in the middle of the road no less. If anything, this was more dramatic, but this time I was less brutal (acc to me anyway). And trust me, I am not showing off. I waited, I waited and I waited for people to ask me out for so many years....and now.This. Maybe I am US-material, considering both the guys who asked me out this year(yea, there was one last year too:P) were Americans. :)

In any case, it does make you feel real good! I mean, some guy walking on the road calls out to you from behind, and then struggles to get his words together for at least five minutes before admitting he wants to take you out for coffee. I concluded some happy things about myself from this -
1. I look good from behind(too)!! :P
2. I appear intimidating.

Okay now I gotta rush to work...

Later!

Finally...

...got rid of the cheesy name I was using to post my posts - "Enigmatic Illusion"...LOL....

(Today I think is "LOL" day, since I've used it ten thousand times already)

In my defense, I was small(er) when I started this blog & came up with it. I did not know what cheesy was back then. I do now :)

Later!

Block

I have nothing to write..I mean there are so many things I could write about, but I just can't. So I'll do what I have done so much during engineering viva's - pull out words out of my ass and talk, or in this case, write.

A couple of notable incidents happened last week. One being, ikea shopping and how!! We went there to shop for M as he's moved into his own room now. And we shopped our asses off!! I am big fan of ikea. It's a furniture & household stuff shop. You can just go there, and find every-frigging-thing, that you'll need in your house. The products may not be that sturdy, but they sure have a great display of it, which makes you want to buy them. No. Really. And considering how BIG it is, they manage it pretty well, save for some glitches here & there. I let M build his bachelor's room, with all black, blue stuff, and no colors. After all he did buy that bookcase to keep all my books! It was also the time, he drove a car in US for the first time. I have always seen couples(can't believe I just called us a "couple" indirectly tho it may be, I guess I am growing up, although it did panic me a little to do that!!) fight sitting in those two seats, the driver's & and the navigator's. And as M sucks at directions, I had a more than active role in giving directions :), we also tried. At least, I did by yelling & panicking & fretting more than once, but he only retaliated by singing more !! It was a fun date, and we survived a day of just each other. One down, some 20-odd-thousand more to go! :P

Another one, being (in case you've lost track there were two.... not one, but TWO notable incidents in my life last week, oh yea, I live on the edge, watcha gonna do???). So I was saying, the second incident being, a guy asked me out on the subway, on my way to work. So this is what happened - I got in the train & buried my face into the book, no not to sleep, to read, just like everyday. After some time I looked up and I see this white guy, dressed in an expensive looking suit, looking at me. I looked for a second or two then smiled at him politely thinking, he's never seen an Indian before (that's really really improbable, but I had not been awake for more than two hours, what do you expect!!), and again went back to my book. After some time I looked up again, to see him looking at me again, and smiling at me and waving a hi at me. (Oh yea I read like that, I read for some time & then take a break to think about what I just read, otherwise I get absorbed enough to miss my stop!). So now, this is not new, I have seen many people do that, friendly that they are, I did not think anything odd about it. I only got a little excited thinking he might be working in some fancy bank, and started picturing forwarding my resume to him some time in the future:P. He caught up with me on the next platform of my transfer-stop, and started talking to me. Considering what I had been picturing in my head, I too spoke with him very politely. We exchanged names, and that's it. We got into the next train & I went back to my book, only to be interrupted in two minutes by a hand placing a card in my book. He says to me, "here's a lil bookmark for your book". I go in my head, "lol!". And then he continues, "Would you like to go for dinner with me?". I sense that everybody in the compartment is watching us, but before I can stop myself, I blurt out a loud, "No!". Yea yea I know next time I'll be a little less cruel. He seems shocked, surprised as if he expected me to jump at the opportunity.(Men!). I tried to return his card to him, but he insisted asking me to think about it and call him. I was laughing right in his face, not knowing what to do! Thankfully my stop came & I got off the train, after saying bye to him! I checked the card, and it turns out he owns/works at "Sleepy's". LOL! So much for forwarding my resume! Though now I can think about getting some discount there at the price of looking pretty and going for dinner with him! :P

Awaiting me now, is a long week of putting together, all the stuff we bought from ikea. Its like building lego. Considering that's not one of M's skills, and I like everything my way, I'll be happily hammering & screwing & trying to fit things, while he (hopefully) cooks delish prawns for us :)

Later!

What the hell is going on?

Well for one, I'm back in school. And may I just say - it sucks! Whoever said, student life is the best time of your life, obviously did not do their masters in US of A, that too in a period of recession. Its back to the world of assignments, and deadlines, and working even after 6 in the evening. Sometimes even overnight! But its okay, this too shall pass, and I think sooner than I want it to.

On a different note, the reason why that title appears so strong is because, I'm freaked, appalled almost, at the thought of how old I am getting. I feel old because everyone around me is either getting engaged or married. It's just too much. I am still a kid. How are girls my age even thinking of getting married already??!! Now this seems like a controversy, right? I think I'm a kid, and I am feeling old. But thats the thing, I know I am a kid. But all these happenings around me make me think, something's terribly wrong with me, which in most cases is not a very pleasant thought to have. So....thats the other things thats going on!

But all in all, I am (dare I even say it?) happy. Cool with my life as of now. (Touchwood!!)
:)

Peace.

Random thought....

Sometimes, a simple thing like reading a newspaper can make you realize how deeply connected you are to your roots, to the place where you grew up and spend more than 2 decades of your life.

I was reading news - New York Times. And then I opened the ePaper version of The Times of India. And then I read the entire paper for an hour. I went through every article, every small news about India. I suddenly realized, I don't even care what I read in New York Times sometimes, but I was actually reacting to the news here. I was feeling happy, sad, irritated, relieved and many other emotions sitting so far away from India. I felt nostalgic, sad and longed to be back. Its' not perfect - what with Amitabh Bachchan visiting Tirupati making a breaking news for a week - its definitely far from perfect.

It's....well it's just home....and is beyond adjectives like these!!

Real Life or Fairy Tale?

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was given a choice. A choice of living in the fairy tale or real life. I don’t remember what I chose. But when I woke up I was very confused. What would I choose? What would anyone choose? I discussed this with my friends. One of them agreed with me, that the real life is too real sometimes. Sometimes we need those fairy tale moments just to reinforce our beliefs. But given a choice would we choose to abandon the real world and go live in a fairy tale? A place where there are difficulties to overcome, battles to be fought, combination of good and bad people to deal with; just like our world. But there’s also an end to it all. There’s also the magic potion, the handsome prince charming, and the funny friend always standing by your side! And most importantly there is ALWAYS “a happily ever after”. And there I thought I had my answer. Obviously yes!

But somewhere inside, I was not satisfied. It’s the damned beliefs I tell ya! Even though here, it was the belief in my own world. Despite that I come to hate it so much sometimes, the fact that it was my own to hate, was not allowing me to let go of it so easily, even in my post, even fictionally! I wondered why it was so difficult to accept an easy choice? Because we are trained to distrust the easier options? Or was there some other catch? I kept thinking, not just for hours, but for a good couple of days (wow, I really must care after all, think of all the time I spent thinking for the world I don’t even like most of the times!!). And then like a brick it hit me right in the head! ‘Seeing stars in broad daylight’ excluded (Sorry to disappoint you all!). The catch is – A fairy tale is good for only one person, the main character! It’s nice and happy in the end only for the Snow Whites, the Cinderellas, and the Shreks. What if, you are one of the dwarfs, or the ugly sister, or god forbid the Donkey!! And that’s the best thing about real world. We may not have magic potions, but we do have support of our family and friends which gives more strength than any magic potion. We may still have to deal with good and bad people and have battles to fight, but we know it’s all manageable. And there is no single happy ending, but there are many happy pauses, which work just as well, sometimes even better! And most importantly, in real life, you are the main character, the hero, the star of your story! For better or for worse!

Sayonara!

I want to break free...

You left without a second glance
It all happened as if in a trance
I don't want to be trapped in an emotion
Pull me out, I am sinking into oblivion

Random stuff....

- I have been watching a lot of Sex & the City lately.(Yes....I am old enough to watch it AND understand it....) So much so that I actually got a little bored while watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!Gosh....I need to stop watching it!Not only I am addicted, I got my roommates addicted to it too!

- I love their shoe-craze. I think I am developing one myself :)

- I love their friendship.

- I am thinking of boycotting Valentine's Day from my life. No heart-break stories here people. The peer pressure is too much to take, and besides the response - "I have boycotted this useless day!!" sounds much more elegant than "ummm....uhuhuh....nuthing much" when people go like - "Soo-o what are your plans for the big day??"

- I am loving my single life right now. For the first time in my life, I don't feel bad about not having that someone special!Its great!!

- I have many questions in my mind about relationships, friendships. I think I keep getting more and more confused as I grow up. What's wrong with me? Am I growing backwards??[No Pun Intended :| ]

Whacky stuff

A dull rainy day. A slow lunch in company. Does this:

When a man falls from first floor, he goes-
Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

When a man fall from eighth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!!
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And then finally
When a man fall from fourth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! :)

And this:
Sensation of tension = Tensation :P



Later!

Cheeni kum - Some fundas from the flick

The "Happy-sad/Sad-sad" funda:
Why are you sad-sad? You should be happy-sad.
Why are you sad?
Because somebody hurt you.
Who can hurt you?
Somebody who is close to the heart.
Who is close to the heart?
Somebody with whom we are happy.

So we were happy thats why we are sad na...
So be happy-sad...not sad-sad!


The "If you cry, you'll empty your heart of love for that person" funda:
Don't cry dear....
You love her a lot...Don't empty your heart of her love by crying...
Why do you cry?
Because your heart is heavy.
Why is your heart heavy?
Beacause it is filled with love.
What happens when you cry?
Your heart feels lighter.
Why does it feel lighter?
Because you empty the love in your heart through tears.

That's why you shouldn't cry for somebody who's gone....

The "Reason why men & women marry" funda:
Should we get married?
Why?
Because Marriage is the price men pay for sex, and sex is the price women pay for marriage. So after learning this deep philosophy of marriage from me, will you marry me?
Yes.

My views:
I like the first one best...the other two I don't really agree with..but whatever :)
Very entertaining movie. Must watch to relax, and enjoy some great satirical comedy from some brilliant actors.

Sayonara!

What personality are you??

Saw this on a Website....rather stumbled upon it(I know i know..I'm using it wa-aay too much to post stuff....but can I help it if I stumble upon such good stuff and wanna share) :)

Read on...and yes...Don't forget to comment!If you don't, this time that may lead to serious threat to your life ;)
Just kidding!But yeah...would love to know what you are... :)

Psychological ("personality") Types

According to Jung's theory of Psychological Types we are all different in fundamental ways. One's ability to process different information is limited by their particular type. These types are sixteen.

People can be :
Extroverts or Introverts, depending on the direction of their activity;
Thinking, Feeling, Sensing, Intuitive, according to their own information pathways;
Judging or Perceiving, depending on the method in which they process received information.

Extroverts vs. Introverts

Extroverts are directed towards the objective world whereas Introverts are directed towards the subjective world. The most common differences between Extroverts and Introverts are shown below:

Extroverts are interested in what is happening around them are open and often talkative compare their own opinions with the opinions of others like action and initiative easily make new friends or adapt to a new group say what they think are interested in new people easily break unwanted relations

Introverts are interested in their own thoughts and feelings need to have own territory often appear reserved, quiet and thoughtful usually do not have many friends have difficulties in making new contacts like concentration and quiet do not like unexpected visits and therefore do not make them work well alone

Sensing vs. Intuition

Sensing is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its physical qualities and its affection by other information. Intuition is an ability to deal with the information on the basis of its hidden potential and its possible existence. The most common differences between Sensing and Intuitive types are shown below:

Sensing types see everyone and sense everything live in the here and now quickly adapt to any situation like pleasures based on physical sensation are practical and active are realistic and self-confident

Intuitive types are mostly in the past or in the future worry about the future more than the present are interested in everything new and unusual do not like routine are attracted more to the theory than the practice often have doubts

Thinking vs. Feeling

Thinking is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its structure and its function. Feeling is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its initial energetic condition and its interactions. The most common differences between Thinking and Feeling type are shown below:

Thinking types are interested in systems, structures, patterns expose everything to logical analysis are relatively cold and unemotional evaluate things by intellect and right or wrong have difficulties talking about feelings do not like to clear up arguments or quarrels

Feeling types are interested in people and their feelings easily pass their own moods to others pay great attention to love and passion evaluate things by ethics and good or bad can be touchy or use emotional manipulation often give compliments to please people

Perceiving vs. Judging

Perceiving types are motivated into activity by the changes in a situation. Judging types are motivated into activity by their decisions resulting from the changes in a situation. The most common differences between Perceiving and Judging types are shown below:

Perceiving types act impulsively following the situation can start many things at once without finishing them properly prefer to have freedom from obligations are curious and like a fresh look at things work productivity depends on their mood often act without any preparation

Judging types do not like to leave unanswered questions plan work ahead and tend to finish it do not like to change their decisions have relatively stable workability easily follow rules and discipline

These four opposite pairs of preferences define eight different ways of dealing with information, which in turn result in sixteen Psychological Types:

ENTp, ISFp, ESFj, INTj, ENFj, ISTj, ESTp, INFp, ESFp, INTp, ENTj, ISFj, ESTj, INFj, ENFp and ISTp,
where E - Extrovert, I - Introvert, S - Sensing, N - Intuitive, T - Thinking, F - Feeling, j - Judging, p - Perceiving.
So, ENTp for example would be Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving type.


BTW I am - ESFp :) (Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)
This of course is my opinion!!
and about all this you can more information here.

Waiting for your comments!!

Adios!!