The ironies that aren't funny!

My brother, who lives in a developing economy comes home from work at 10 pm, and sis-in-law who works from home finishes at 10.30, can walk into the living room and have food readily prepared on the dining table.

M &I, who work (and currently live) in a developed economy, come home from work at 9.30 pm and have nothing to eat.

Some ironies aren't that funny ha? Don't feel sorry for us though. We did have some "theplas" in the freezer that we were able to enjoy! ;)

In some other news - the weekend blended into this week so quickly, I did not even realize! This is going to be a long, busy week. But I am going to try my best to not bring home work this coming weekend! Touch wood. I just realized, that there are only 3900 weekends (out of which almost half are gone). I am determined to make the best of remaining 2000 I have left! 

Gentlemen who golf

"She figured out early what every man with a corner office has long known: To make it to the top, you need a wife. If that wife happens to be a husband, and increasingly it is, so be it."

"Seven of the 18 women who are currently CEOs of Fortune 500 companies—including Xerox’s (XRX) Ursula Burns, PepsiCo’s (PEP) Indra Nooyi, and WellPoint’s (WLP) Angela Braly—have, or at some point have had, a stay-at-home husband."

"At-home dads are sometimes perceived as freeloaders, even if they’ve lost jobs. Or they’re considered frivolous kept men—gentlemen who golf."

Says this article. Although it may, on the surface look like a good way of repentance for men, the question begs to be asked - Isn't this creating the same problem all over again, but this time with men? Won't there be a generation of men, sometime in the future, struggling to find their feet in the woman's world, while trying to manage household stuff at the same time. And even though at some level, my evil self would love to see it happen, to be completely fair - it's not fair. Is it not possible for both spouses to have a high-flying career AND a life AND a family? Is that really too much to ask?

I think what needs to happen, and what is slowly but surely taking place is, both need to own equal parts of the responsibility of earning the moolah, but also taking care of family and home. If that is not possible or feasible, then something about our attitude needs to change that makes the person who stays at home feel like this - 

"Caring for children all day and doing housework is tiring, unappreciated work that few are cut out for—and it leaves men and women alike feeling isolated and diminished."

Staying at home and taking care of children, is also what my mother did, and I respect and appreciate her for that. That is an important job, important enough to leave a job that pays, and it deserves it's due respect. But what is that change that needs to be made to make the person (man or woman) who now does a full time job of caring for home with no weekends, or paid vacation, feel the significance that they deserve?

Thoughts?

Weird alert

Before I get into that - Merry Christmas! Hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend :)

And now for the actual post. So, I saw a random tag going around the Blogosphere and decided to pick it up! The tag is to list weirdest things about your other half (I like to think I'm the better of the two halves, hence the use of "other". I tried to think of ways to put this in less boastful sounding statement, but then again why hide the real me from you. Our (you-blog world and me) relationship is based on trust and the truth is - sometimes I show-off).

Thankfully, M won't be doing this tag, cos I bet he will have more weird things on me, than I have on him (Like - she is strangely delusional about how awesome she is).

I think the original tag was just listing facts, and somewhere along the way "weirdest" got added to it. I am fine with it either way! ;)

Anyway, enough chit-chat. Here we go -
1. M can break into the most random songs that he is the lyricist as well as the composer of. Like yesterday, I was mad at him and after some back and forth on the peace treaty, he went into the kitchen to heat up frozen Rotis for us and promptly broke into a - "She really hates me right noooooow....but she really loves meeeee...so what should I dooooo". I sat outside listening to it, trying not to laugh. This is not the first time, in the span of 3 years I have heard counless such compositions, that make no sense and range from cute to super annoying.To me that's really weird...Who does that?

2. M doesn't know how to tie his shoelaces. Or to be more specific, how to tie his shoe laces for one of the shoes. I swear, every time we are walking to some place just one of his shoe's laces will come undone every 5 minutes.

3. M is super scared of canines. Even little puppies.

4. He looks different in every photograph. Not kidding. If I go back to see his pictures for the 3.5 years we have been together, I cannot find one picture that looks the same as the other. My friends and parents had a hard time picturing what he looks like before they met him cos his pictures are so drastically different.

5. Crazy fan of SRK. Like worse than even teenage girls are for Twilight. He was excited for Don 2 for more than a year I think. I am afraid to watch the movie with him, in case he squeals in excitement when SRK first appears.

And now I will go and hide somewhere until M can forget that I "exposed" him so openly to the blog world. In my defense, I was feeling lazy and couldn't think of anything else to write about! I am sure everyone has already done this tag, but if you have not, feel free to pick it up! I would love to read it...

PS: Yesterday, we took a trip to ikea and I snapped pictures of some cool ideas! Will share them with you very soon!

As it turns out

I am not yet ready to let it go. Comments from you all (all 4 of you! :)) also made me think about it. And I came to the conclusion that, maybe I just need some change like changing the background color, or moving to wordpress or something like that! We'll see.

Thank you so much for your support guys.
@Rani - Special thanks to you, since I know it's not easy for you to comment on blogger.

Also it would be really unfair if I deleted my blog without acknowledging the award that it has got me. (yes, it's true!). But all that after I come back from my long cherry-blossom-ing weekend in Washington D.C.

See ya'll on the other side!

It's surprisingly accurate!

Though I haven't watched the movie....the short description sounds quite correct.....

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

I tagged myself!

Since nobody was tagging me...like ever(!!) I decided to take initiative and do it myself. I found this here.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Hope my sun allergy does not increase.."

2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
5$

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Soar

4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My roommate - J...and I had not even seen it till now...thanks to this I just saw it :P

5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I haven't used ring tones since like forever now...but I used to love - "Saathiya" :)

6. What are you wearing right now?
Floral purple and orange chiffon sleeveless top and black trousers, with black thin sweater and black ballerina shoes.

7. Do you label yourself?
Yes. Many times. With many labels.

8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
I own many(shoes, that is). Some are not branded, some are brands I don't recall(but bought them from DSW), and sports shoes are Reebok, bought them 2 years back.

9.Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. Always. Can't stand darkness. I sometimes like switching the lights on even in a car while traveling at night.

10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Found this randomly....while stumbling from blog to blog...but his posts are nice, and I am sure so is he :)

11. What does your watch look like?
A Guess Silver watch with black dial, M gifted me this on my Birthday.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I am pretty sure dreaming things, which I can't remember now! :P

13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
A msg from M intimating that he loves me...and asking me why I am so amazing :P

14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
"F**k"

15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
M (if boyfriends are not excluded) :)

16. Last furry thing you touched?
My piglet soft toy.

17. Favorite age you have been so far?
There have been many - but I think 17-18, when I was in junior college, without liabilities, worries and having a ball with friends every frigging day!!

18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Sure." (to a colleague)

19.The last song you listened to?
Right Round - Flo Rida

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Rajgarh (M.P.) [I think..]

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Umm....not really..... :)

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Maybe...I really don't know...

23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Mobile phone, Wallet/cards, my forgetful self :P

24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Bangalore, New York City, Boston. In that order.

25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I think my friend "Shruti"(yea thats her name too) in engineering.

26. Can you change the oil in a car?
Hell. No.

27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
First big crush as in school. Last I heard from him, we were chatting non-sense shit online, and he was working in some company in Bombay.

28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My lower back, cos of Spondylolisthesis :(

29.What is your current desktop picture?
Office PC - Blue color.
Personal Laptop - Beautiful black wallpaper with funky art image and music written on it.

30. Have you been burnt by love?
Yep. With my ex. I've never told this to anyone but I used to cry for no reason at all, and be depressed most of the time, when I was with him.
Its the worst. Hope I never be there again. Hope nobody is.


And I tag -
M, Saurabh, Mansi, Guy Next Door, Sai and Pari.
Edited to add: Tagging Chintan & Shamika too. Hopefully this will make them blog! :P

Thoughts fleeting in & out of my head right about now...

- I want to talk to M about how bad my day is going....and how the world is being so so unfair to me....Wish he would finish his exam fast...
- Why is S, so disillusioned with love....worrying about it a little....
- Missing mom....everyone at home...wondering how they are...waiting to call till the sun rises on the other side of the globe...
- Am I in a wrong profession?
- I have to blog about several topics before they reach their expiry date....
- Sad...mostly cos of last night's conversation with S....
- What happens next in the book I am reading..

Finally...

...got rid of the cheesy name I was using to post my posts - "Enigmatic Illusion"...LOL....

(Today I think is "LOL" day, since I've used it ten thousand times already)

In my defense, I was small(er) when I started this blog & came up with it. I did not know what cheesy was back then. I do now :)

Later!

~Me & my cons~

- I feel jealous very very quickly and easily.
- I am very very possessive when it comes to some people and in a bad way.
- I am not good at maintaining personal relationships.
- I am anti-social, in a big big way.
- I don't remember dates, names OR faces.
- I have very very bad memory.
- I lack sensitivity intuition BIG time.
- I can't talk to people unless they talk to me.
- Which means I can't talk to most people.
- I can NEVER talk about my feelings without feeling awkward.
- I hate feeling awkward.
- Hence I almost NEVER talk about my feelings.
- I hate melodrama.
- And yet ironically my best friends are very dramatic! (not a cons just a fact to note).
- I talk too frankly and bluntly(edited from "sharply" as suggested by someone), which almost always hurts people who are close to me. I don't want to change that about me, but I really think I should.
- I am a very confused person when it comes to most things.
Added these as suggested by the same someone-
- I have double standards

Later!

PS: This is not an exhaustive list. More to come later.

It's incredible...

...How sometimes we ourselves can't take the same kind of treatment we give others...!

With nothing to do...

This is what happens, a rediscovery -

1. I am very forgetful, and I am really really bad at remembering important dates including birthdays, anniversaries and such more.

2. I am really bad at remembering names too.

3. I find cute bartenders, well....really cute.

4. I love my family till the point of being unreasonable with others to make them happy.

5. I love shoes.

6. I am going to get a tattoo someday, but not just yet, cos I feel I'm not ready for it yet.

7. I also am going to get a degree in literature someday.

8. I like New York in general, but absolutely love it only with one person :)

9. I really love fruit martinis.

10. And I love writing about me... :P

What women want?

PS: Wrote this a long time back too. I think - 01/03/2008. Thoughts still the same on this one though as opposed to this.

For years men have been asking the question - What women want?
Do you know why men still have not found an answer to it? Because it's frigging wrong question to ask in the first place! The question is not what women want.....the real question is what is it that the woman wants?

I myself never gave this even so much of a fleeting thought before...Why did I think about it now? Because I started wondering what is it that I want? I started talking to my friends, what is it that they wanted? I realized its all different. Not only is it different, it is also dependent on who the guy is. Interestingly, expectations keep changing as the focus changes. [I don't think this is that true though, basic needs of a woman (with a huge emphasis on A or THE WOMAN, for all those guys who read this - never generalize with women) never change].

Have fun! ;)

Why is it not enough?

Written on - 03/29/2008
Disclaimer: Been sitting on my computer for too long. Tis high time it saw the day light. These were my thoughts in March. My thoughts changed drastically in June. Will soon udate why, how and what of that in another post.

I am sitting here in Au Bon Pain, a snack/lunch/dinner cafe, something of a bistro(w/o the wine!). A beautiful dusk, but cold and windy. And I have a project to work on (ugghhh...so what else is new?). But obviously, here I am writing this post looking all important and consumed in my work ;). I look around. Groups of people sitting everywhere. Only one couple. And even they don't look like stereotypical couples. Most are with friends. Probably 60-70% of them are single too. ( I can't tell, really, I don't think there's anyway to tell, but I am just estimating for my own benefit :)).

Then why is it that most of us (read - each and every one of us) is looking for that someone special. We have wonderful friends, busy lives, things to do. Why do we even need that kind of shit? My friend happens to think, that when we look around we see people, with each other, all sappy, lovey-dovey and I'm-there-for-you-baby; and it rubs off you as a little something called "longing". I happen to disagree. I have no idea why, but I can't stand couples getting cozy around me. It somehow seems like an act of showing off . I rather look up to couples, who can just look at each other, and they know what the other one is thinking, without actually having to ...ummm.....demonstrate!! Okay, jokes apart, isn't that what we call chemistry, the sheer attraction between two people, who only they can feel and understand, and others can only feel there's something, but can't put a finger on exactly what it is. Alright....coming back from our little digression there (Clap Clap!!Snap back to reality!), the point I was trying to put forth was, even if you don't see such things around you, there's a little part in everybody which is searching, looking, seeking!

Is it companionship? kinship? security? comfort? having someone to praise you on those bad-hair days? :D or just having someone?
What is it that induces us to feel the way we do? And what should one do when struck by it? Fight it? Embrace it? Act upon it? Or just ignore it?

Just a thought...

I think I'd rather be caught with bad hair than with bad shoes!!!

Few realizations of late!

- Carpe diem. Seize the day. Seize the moment. This moment, this time will never come in your life again. Be the moment sad or happy, live it to the fullest, you may never get a chance to feel it again!

- Always do what you want. You can never be happy doing something that others want you to do. Doing what you want will make you happy.

- Say 'No' if you want to. It's prfectly OK to say no. There's never a reason to feel guilty in exercising the right of saying no.

- Do not let others walk all over you. Ever. No matter who they are.

- Just go with the flow in life. Stop thinking or worrying about future. It NEVER helps.

Real Life or Fairy Tale?

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was given a choice. A choice of living in the fairy tale or real life. I don’t remember what I chose. But when I woke up I was very confused. What would I choose? What would anyone choose? I discussed this with my friends. One of them agreed with me, that the real life is too real sometimes. Sometimes we need those fairy tale moments just to reinforce our beliefs. But given a choice would we choose to abandon the real world and go live in a fairy tale? A place where there are difficulties to overcome, battles to be fought, combination of good and bad people to deal with; just like our world. But there’s also an end to it all. There’s also the magic potion, the handsome prince charming, and the funny friend always standing by your side! And most importantly there is ALWAYS “a happily ever after”. And there I thought I had my answer. Obviously yes!

But somewhere inside, I was not satisfied. It’s the damned beliefs I tell ya! Even though here, it was the belief in my own world. Despite that I come to hate it so much sometimes, the fact that it was my own to hate, was not allowing me to let go of it so easily, even in my post, even fictionally! I wondered why it was so difficult to accept an easy choice? Because we are trained to distrust the easier options? Or was there some other catch? I kept thinking, not just for hours, but for a good couple of days (wow, I really must care after all, think of all the time I spent thinking for the world I don’t even like most of the times!!). And then like a brick it hit me right in the head! ‘Seeing stars in broad daylight’ excluded (Sorry to disappoint you all!). The catch is – A fairy tale is good for only one person, the main character! It’s nice and happy in the end only for the Snow Whites, the Cinderellas, and the Shreks. What if, you are one of the dwarfs, or the ugly sister, or god forbid the Donkey!! And that’s the best thing about real world. We may not have magic potions, but we do have support of our family and friends which gives more strength than any magic potion. We may still have to deal with good and bad people and have battles to fight, but we know it’s all manageable. And there is no single happy ending, but there are many happy pauses, which work just as well, sometimes even better! And most importantly, in real life, you are the main character, the hero, the star of your story! For better or for worse!

Sayonara!

Does trust have an expiry date?

Trust....something which I've always known, but believe that its now, that I've truly understood what it means.Or atleast I "trust" that I am in the process of understanding it :). Here, so far from home and close ones, you truly understand what it is that people are and how difficult it is to find the right people. And when I say right people, I mean right for you. Because,everybody is nice, but you may not find them so, only because of the circumstances. Maybe they are just not right for you. Maybe the time is not right yet.

So how do you figure out who the right people are? I guess you just know. Just like you know which dress to buy, when you see it(Though constrains like "money in the bank account" may actually stop you from buying it ;) ). I've realized after coming here, that there are so very few people in this world whom you can really trust. And then I started wondering, does even trust like every other emotion (sparing a bare few) have an expiry date. Of course, you can never stop trusting your parents, even siblings you may not trust for some reason but parents you can never not trust. I am talking about the trust which exists between two people out of bloodlock(if there exists such a term:)).

Does that have an expiry date, like you know for example canned milk, and like how it just ceases to be fit to drink after its expiry date. Just like that does even trust cease to exist between two people one day? When the relationship becomes sour, and when you just cant take anymore of it. You just have to throw it away. Or maybe cos the other person decides its time to not care about the trust anymore.

And if there exists a date like this, who defines it and how do you find out what it is?

Being nice - investment or humanity?

This question has been nagging me for the past coupla days now. And no matter how much I ponder, I can't figure out the answer. Is being nice an investment or an act of humanity? When did being nice become an investment from the plain old "being nice"? And are all of us being nice only for a selfish motive at the end of the day?

I myself know that sometimes, I treat people nicely for some unseen time when I might need their favor. Its selfish and maybe even mean. But most of the times I am a nice pleasant person, who without any ulterior motive likes to put a smile on people's faces. No questions asked.

But recently, I discovered that sometimes, people refrain from doing that simple unselfish task of niceness, because there are low returns at the end of it. Is this right? I am confused, because if you look at it this way - they are at least not fooling a person to believe something which does not exist. They are being forthright & honest about their feelings. On the other hand, sometimes maybe its better to keep a person in dark rather than have them know the harsh truth, which can only hurt them.

And I kept asking myself, is it right to keep a person in dark by making nice, or is it better to come clean and move on in life?

Fish and visitors smell in three days. ~Benjamin Franklin

How true!

Recently, I had some guests come over a my place. Now, I'm not a bad person; I am just not that comfortable when there are guests in my house. I don't mind some close relatives, cos them I'm quite comfortable with, but when it comes to distant relatives, I can at the most survive for 3 days. And thats how long they had come for.

Now, I know that in India, guests are like God. But it gets really irritating if even they start behaving as if they are doing us a favor by just being there. I saw for 3 days, my mom, bhabhi & sometimes me, slog all the time for them. And all the guests kept warming our chairs/sofas/beds, never once offering to help even a little!! Whenever my family has gone as guests to anybody's place, I always remember my mom never lets me sit if the host is working, she and me always help. And its fair too. A person is doing a favor to you, when he lets you invade his privacy, his routine. The least that you can do is behave human. I wondered later on when my mom & bhabhi went down with viral, was the fatigue of last 2-3 days partly responsible for taking them down. I'm not writing this for fun, I felt deeply about this. I wouldn't want anybody to slog for me so much let alone fall sick cos of me. Thats why I came up with this -

Some guidelines that should be followed when you go as a guest to somebody who is not that close to you -

1. Do NOT live as if it's your own house.

2. Do NOT treat their living room as a place for you to roam around only in a short bermuda after bath, even though you might be doin this at your place.

3. Do NOT treat their TV as your own, respect their choices/preferences.

4. Do offer to help around in the chores as much as possible.

5. Do respect the fact that you are in their house and not the other way round.

6. Do follow this when you come to my place :P

Sayonara!

I changed my mind...

Some days back I wrote this. But I have changed my mind now. I judged people whom I had met that day, not on that day of course(that's why I wrote that, I'm not as crazy as you think I am); but after more interactions with them. Unfortunately, my experience did not turn out that great. And let me tell you this -

• It's not easy to be nice to people who have been not nice to you before.
• Its very difficult not to get nasty thoughts like - Why should I help him now? He didn't help me when I needed him to!!
  
• Even if you don't act maliciously, and do help them after all, you cant help thinking - now you've come to me!! NOW...you need me.
• And lastly you end up feeling guilty about thinking all such stuff!

So anyways...what I think now is, there is hardly any other way but not to judge people. I think we humans wouldn't be us (you know the whole crap about us being the finer species with acute brain power n blah blah blah) without the judging bit inside us.

So I think we can be okay about it not feel guilty about it :)
Atleast that's what I will follow...because I have also learnt that it is this very trait that leads you to form the best of relations with those whom you judged wrong first. :)

Sayonara!