I want to remember every moment

Dear Husband,

I want to remember every moment of my life with you. I probably won't. I will probably only remember the special few, but I don't want to forget yesterday evening's everydayness, that I keep wanting to go back to.

You did not want me to drive to work, cos I was not feeling well. You thought I wouldn't be able to drive back. I wasn't so sure myself. I went anyway, and when I reached work I knew I wasn't feeling up to driving back in the evening. I asked you to take a train, 20 miles outside the city to come meet me and drive us both home. You said yes, without a moment's hesitation. And we had the best time. We went to your favorite Indian Restaurant. I like the food there, but the service always manages to drive me nuts. As it did yesterday, when the waiter told us we were ordering too much food for two people - Mirchi Bhajji, Uttapam, Daal Tadka, Goat Biryani, and Lassi. Okay, I agree, it was too much food, it always is. But I don't like to be told that. But you did not even care, and we got into our usual discussion about who is right - me or you! The restaurant was playing old hindi songs on the TV and we watched them together, sitting on the same side of the table. Me singing along the songs and you saying things that I did not know how to respond to, so I just sat there amused.

We had useless discussions about work, what kind of people are good dancers, gossiped about our family, and friends. It was hilarious. I had the best time. The drive that seems to go on forever everyday, got over too soon with you. And I am afraid, our life will pass me by too quickly in your company, and I won't even notice. Well, I guess that's the whole point. But at least I know I will have a good time. Life will keep throwing curveballs, and we will keep going through ups and downs. And, I am glad I will have you by my side, through everything. And I know you will always be there to drive me home.

Love,
Just same ol' me

I have news!

Our family has the newest addition - my lovely niece was born yesterday!!! I love her. I loved her from the moment I knew of her existence inside my sis-in-law's tummy, and she couldn't have come out fast enough! I don't even know what she looks like but to me she's the most beautiful thing on the planet. She doesn't even have a formal name yet (kachori & chinti don't quite work as formal) but like my bro said yesterday - this nameless wonder has four fully-grown adults totally captivated and right under her thumb! God bless you sweetheart...I will always love you so so so sooooo much! And I am sorry (and you cannot begin to imagine how sad) that I am not there to welcome you, but I do hope that someday you love me a lot.

When I got the news, I called up Sai (Hi Sai!) who did not wait to inform me that I will soon be obsessed and call home at least a hundred times each day. I laughed it off. I even thought to myself, she's nuts - just because she did it when her nephew was born doesn't mean I'll do it too - I'm not her. And it's true. I did not obsess a lot. Just a little bit. Like when I woke up at 2am last night to drink water, I decided to call home so that I can hear her crying (that's all she does, when she's not crying she sleeps!), but she was sleeping(big surprise huh?). So then I just told my mom to describe in detail every little thing that she had done during the day. After a good half hour, I hung up and went to sleep really regretting the day I decided to come to US. And then when I woke up in the morning, I called up home again to try my luck again and ended up talking to my bro this time asking him to tell me every little thing that she does.

I feel so sad to be all the way over here. I just wish, so wish that I could go home for some time before my job starts to spend some time with this little wonder. Dear Santa - I did not ask anything for Christmas, can I get this wish, pretty please? And no I am crying right now, just a little choked up.

And now I think I'll call up home again. For the fiftieth time! (Just kidding, it's only third in this day).

Later!

"Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action"

Said W.J. Cameron.

So here I go.

I am thankful for M for bringing joy in my life. I am thankful for M's wonderful parents who also support and encourage me in everything. And I am thankful for all the opportunities I have got and for getting what I did. I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends.

And lastly, but most most most importantly I am thankful for my parents who always have and continue to support me through all the decisions in my life, who have sacrificed so many things and continue to do so, so that I could be where I want and who have always stood by me and continue to do so as I face tough times.

I don't know how they do it, but they are my strength. They give me courage and always always are ready to support me through anything! I feel lucky!Thanks Aai Baba. Love you guys.

Rare piece

I am in love with the song AND the video.
Watch.Listen.Relish.

To make a relationship work

So, soon it will be a year of me being in a relationship. A second one. Not that I am proud of admitting I have been in more than one, but neither am I repentant about it, obviously. Sometimes things just don't work out. And I consider myself really really lucky to have found somebody, again.

So what makes it work, or not work?
From what I have learned till now, hiding you feelings, drowning your voice in lieu of not hurting the other one, and not giving yourself the due importance you own, NEVER works. And even though it seems like it, it wasn't so obvious for me.

So, if you are looking to absolutely not make it work(for what reason, I don't care), follow this religiously -
1. Suffocate the other one, by instructions, nagging, and questioning them on their thoughts, actions, hobbies, habits.
2. Try to change them, by telling them to goto gym, making them listen to your type of music, making them watch your type of movies, making them do what you like, making them eat what you like, making them wear what you like, asking them to change their values and pretty much mold them into what you want, and don't care if they lose their individuality and happiness meanwhile! You got what you want, who cares!
3. Insult & fight with them, over things they do differently. Mock their values, and thoughts. Ridicule their opinions.
4. Completely ignore what they like.
5. Give priority to everybody except them.
6. Don't trust them! Display your distrust, in public!
7. Also make sure to make no sacrifices for them, what-so-ever.
8. Doubt their capabilities, and do NOT show support & encouragement in difficult times.
9. Discuss your relationship problems with everybody but them.
10. Most importantly, keep pretending that things are going fine!

On the other hand, if you do want it to work, some things, which at least for me are really important are -
- Give each other the due space, not just in life, but in habit, way of life, hobby, activities.
- Give each other the freedom of thought & opinion.
- Respect each others' opinions, and learn to live with them, if possible learn to love & appreciate the beauty of difference.
- Take time to show your appreciation of this difference in thoughts, habits, hobbies, by adapting it once in a while. (for girls - if it means cracking fart-jokes, do it!) (for guys - if it means shopping whole day, go for it!)
- Learn to love, show-off your affection, even in public. (I never had to learn this, tho! :P)
- Learn to assert and put your foot down, for your loved one, even in front of your family, if need be.
- Appreciate the little sacrifices, you both make for each other. I always thought only the girl suffers on the friendship front with her girlfriends, but I realised, so does the guy with his friends.

Apart from the above and some other obvious ones like trust, faith etc etc....it also takes a lot of patience. No two people are same. Can never be. Learn to love the things you don't like about them. Learn to be patient. Also, the thing that is most needed, and almost always ignored, is reassurance. And its needed by both, not just the girl.

I swear I did not pick this out of Cosmo, but I sure do sound like it. And even though these have been iterated time & again, I felt I wanted to note them down. I don't know if a year is enough to judge where a relationship stands. I guess if you are happy, then you are good.

I just want to tell you M, that I am very happy (touch wood) with you. I love you. And I love your singing too, just don't land us behind bars for it, and we'll be good! :D I know we started off roughly, but since then you have made sure we don't sway :). I know and you know, how paranoid I was(sometimes I still am), how difficult it is for you sometimes to shrug off my past, how angry your past actions make me still, but despite all of this we have lasted almost a year(about a month short)!! Yaay for us!! It does not scare me to say that I want to see many more milestones with you. No wait, I am EXCITED to see them!! And also, love you for always always putting my interest before yours. And also being patient with me, with all my tantrums & complaints! And finding me beautiful & sexy when I myself don't feel like it. And wanting to know me inside out, beyond & above anyone has ever ventured to know. And trying to do that. And dreaming for me, dreaming for us. And....so much more....!

Also, stop goofing around and finish "The Kite Runner". And teach me Tennis. Also don't question me about this post. Cos with us, we have an edge due the natural chemistry we share! :)

And lastly - touch wood, touch wood, touch wood!!

For you -

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other

Underneath Your Clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose,
There's my territory

- Shakira, "Underneath your clothes"

Edited to add - No more "happy anniversary, awww" mushy comments please :) they are just umm..too mushy!! Saurabh you were the first one so you are excused!! Comments on the rest of it, most welcome :)

Dedicated to my most faithful albeit mute reader

Thank you. I don't know anybody else who reads my blog as regularly as you do. Nobody else motivates me and encourages me to write(this being just one of the millions of things you encourage me for) like you do. And you even remember to strategically mention my posts in our conversations. You never comment, and I don't think you ever should, cos thats what(one of the things but not limited to it) makes you stand apart and oh-so-special! I like the mystery, I like the excitement of writing something and waiting to see if you have read it. May I say just how much it means to me? It means more to me than a hundred dinners, a thousand gifts, and a million surprises. I hope you get what I am trying to say, oh but wait, you get it sometimes without even me having to say it.So I am not worried...I am now, only waiting to hear what you have to say about this very post.

And ya...thank you, for being you :)

Random thought....

Sometimes, a simple thing like reading a newspaper can make you realize how deeply connected you are to your roots, to the place where you grew up and spend more than 2 decades of your life.

I was reading news - New York Times. And then I opened the ePaper version of The Times of India. And then I read the entire paper for an hour. I went through every article, every small news about India. I suddenly realized, I don't even care what I read in New York Times sometimes, but I was actually reacting to the news here. I was feeling happy, sad, irritated, relieved and many other emotions sitting so far away from India. I felt nostalgic, sad and longed to be back. Its' not perfect - what with Amitabh Bachchan visiting Tirupati making a breaking news for a week - its definitely far from perfect.

It's....well it's just home....and is beyond adjectives like these!!

I want to break free...

You left without a second glance
It all happened as if in a trance
I don't want to be trapped in an emotion
Pull me out, I am sinking into oblivion

Cheeni kum - Some fundas from the flick

The "Happy-sad/Sad-sad" funda:
Why are you sad-sad? You should be happy-sad.
Why are you sad?
Because somebody hurt you.
Who can hurt you?
Somebody who is close to the heart.
Who is close to the heart?
Somebody with whom we are happy.

So we were happy thats why we are sad na...
So be happy-sad...not sad-sad!


The "If you cry, you'll empty your heart of love for that person" funda:
Don't cry dear....
You love her a lot...Don't empty your heart of her love by crying...
Why do you cry?
Because your heart is heavy.
Why is your heart heavy?
Beacause it is filled with love.
What happens when you cry?
Your heart feels lighter.
Why does it feel lighter?
Because you empty the love in your heart through tears.

That's why you shouldn't cry for somebody who's gone....

The "Reason why men & women marry" funda:
Should we get married?
Why?
Because Marriage is the price men pay for sex, and sex is the price women pay for marriage. So after learning this deep philosophy of marriage from me, will you marry me?
Yes.

My views:
I like the first one best...the other two I don't really agree with..but whatever :)
Very entertaining movie. Must watch to relax, and enjoy some great satirical comedy from some brilliant actors.

Sayonara!

To my Best Friend

Dear S,

You're one of a kind, different from others,
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers,
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game,
But not just another, in the long chain,

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold,
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old,
You'll always be there, I know that is true,
I'll always be here, always for you.

-Me

Disclaimer: I have not written this myself, but hey finding such nice stuff is difficult too :)

Today...

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles...
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...
An unexpected phone call from an old friend...
Green traffic lights on your way to work...
The fastest line at the grocery store...
A good sing-along song on the radio...
And your keys right where you left them...

Today...
I wish you a day of ordinary miracles....

Alvida...

Jinke darmiyaan gujri thi abhi kal tak yeh meri zindagi,
Lo un bahon ko, thandi chaon ko,
hum bhi kar chale alvida..

alvida...alvida meri raahein alvida....
...meri saansein kehti hai alvida...