"Hello Ditcher!"

Said my friend on the phone, when I called to ask her when we all roomies were going for dinner? Agreed I was late. I had a date with "someone", and I had told them I'll join them after I meet him. And in all fairness to everybody(and mostly to me ;)) I did plan the date thing way before this dinner plan came up. And I tried to make it there too. And I did, although a half hour late than the suggested time of turning up!

All I'm asking is, why am I the ditcher?? If I said no to my plan with him, I would be as much of ditcher there as I was being called here. Then, why? Why is it that a girl has to choose and be a ditcher at some place. Why can't she rely on both parties to understand and co-operate since obviously they are both important to her, and she tries her best to be with both. Just that, there are some things like existential crisis, when it comes to existing in two places at the same time, which is not really covered under the wide arena of capabilities that humans possess. Why is it even an "issue" I don't understand. And in all fairness (to me) I will do as I wish, and I shouldn't have to answer anybody. Because I have learned it the hard way, doing what you don't want to do, never makes you even one bit happy.

So to all girlfriends out there, in both senses of being one to a guy and being one to girls(and I don't mean this in a lesbian sort of way, for all you perv-minded) - please do as you please, cos when it comes to being happy, nothing else can make you as happy, and please cut your friends some slack, its hard enough trying to balance a life with boyfriend and friends, but don't make her choose between the two. Don't put her through it. Remember it could be you too!

Peace!

God save the Wall Street!!

“This disparate treatment, unappealing as it is, appears unavoidable,” Mr. Bernanke said(about pouring hundreds of billions of more taxpayer dollars into financial companies — especially when other industries were getting the cold shoulder.) “Our economic system is critically dependent on the free flow of credit.”

And still they send me atleast 2 mails of free credit cards, every month! What is with these guys?? Do they act dumb, or are they just plain that!

Gawd!

With nothing to do...

This is what happens, a rediscovery -

1. I am very forgetful, and I am really really bad at remembering important dates including birthdays, anniversaries and such more.

2. I am really bad at remembering names too.

3. I find cute bartenders, well....really cute.

4. I love my family till the point of being unreasonable with others to make them happy.

5. I love shoes.

6. I am going to get a tattoo someday, but not just yet, cos I feel I'm not ready for it yet.

7. I also am going to get a degree in literature someday.

8. I like New York in general, but absolutely love it only with one person :)

9. I really love fruit martinis.

10. And I love writing about me... :P

Realising once again...

....how mean people are.....and more so when in a position of power or have an upper hand! And once again depressed, how hopeless the world seems.....You know when it feels like you can't take it anymore...Just can't put up with it....And wondering, if this will ever end?

You know...

The reason it hurts so much to be apart is because our souls are connected.

Is it?

She should have seen it coming. It was building up like a climax scene in a play. There were his friends. And there was lamb curry, his favorite. And there was this entire two whole days of missing him and trying not to. And there was this entire movie having been watched that afternoon, where every scene, all she could think of was - "what would he say in this scene, how would he mock aamir khan here" and then smile secretly imagining how funny it would have been. Having spent the entire movie wincing at the gory shots, wishing he was there to put his arm around her, so that she could bury her head in his shoulders and didn't have to watch them. So is it really weird that after such a day she started crying the moment she heard his voice, miles away from India calling only to tell her that he loves her and misses her a lot??!!
Is it??

Will you be free for dinner tonight?

The SMS said. From him. I waited 6 years for it before I stopped waiting. Another 3 have passed since then. I moved on. Long back. Don't believe me? Well you have no choice..do you? Anyway...we are friends. Always have been. Except for that brief period that I thought we were something more than friends. And upon asking I was bluntly told it wasn't so. "I never thought that way about you." Okay. Fair enough. Then why the fuck were we acting/talking/behaving the way two people do only when they fancy each other? For more than a month? Talking everyday and every night till very late. Till I tried to confirm things were what I thought they were. Or god knows how long that might have gone on. I don't feel anything for him. But I still feel very much cheated. Even today. Still feel angry at myself and him. As angry as I felt then. As humiliated. Even after these many years. But I still am going to take up this invitation. The hurt & innocent teenager inside me is very much tempted to stand him up. Make him feel at least fraction of the pain that I felt. But I know I couldn't do this to him or to anybody for that matter.

So. I'm going to say yes to an invitation I longed to receive years ago and which now, doesn't have any more effect on me than watching an ant crawl. And try to purge my heart of the anger, not cos I forgive him but only cos any of my emotions are not worth that ass of a guy whom I still consider a friend.

PS: I still think of him as a friend. Just wanted to get this off my chest. I didn't think it would come out so strongly when I started writing. Thought I was just documenting the odd ironies of life. Oh well! :)

Dedicated to my most faithful albeit mute reader

Thank you. I don't know anybody else who reads my blog as regularly as you do. Nobody else motivates me and encourages me to write(this being just one of the millions of things you encourage me for) like you do. And you even remember to strategically mention my posts in our conversations. You never comment, and I don't think you ever should, cos thats what(one of the things but not limited to it) makes you stand apart and oh-so-special! I like the mystery, I like the excitement of writing something and waiting to see if you have read it. May I say just how much it means to me? It means more to me than a hundred dinners, a thousand gifts, and a million surprises. I hope you get what I am trying to say, oh but wait, you get it sometimes without even me having to say it.So I am not worried...I am now, only waiting to hear what you have to say about this very post.

And ya...thank you, for being you :)

What women want?

PS: Wrote this a long time back too. I think - 01/03/2008. Thoughts still the same on this one though as opposed to this.

For years men have been asking the question - What women want?
Do you know why men still have not found an answer to it? Because it's frigging wrong question to ask in the first place! The question is not what women want.....the real question is what is it that the woman wants?

I myself never gave this even so much of a fleeting thought before...Why did I think about it now? Because I started wondering what is it that I want? I started talking to my friends, what is it that they wanted? I realized its all different. Not only is it different, it is also dependent on who the guy is. Interestingly, expectations keep changing as the focus changes. [I don't think this is that true though, basic needs of a woman (with a huge emphasis on A or THE WOMAN, for all those guys who read this - never generalize with women) never change].

Have fun! ;)

Why is it not enough?

Written on - 03/29/2008
Disclaimer: Been sitting on my computer for too long. Tis high time it saw the day light. These were my thoughts in March. My thoughts changed drastically in June. Will soon udate why, how and what of that in another post.

I am sitting here in Au Bon Pain, a snack/lunch/dinner cafe, something of a bistro(w/o the wine!). A beautiful dusk, but cold and windy. And I have a project to work on (ugghhh...so what else is new?). But obviously, here I am writing this post looking all important and consumed in my work ;). I look around. Groups of people sitting everywhere. Only one couple. And even they don't look like stereotypical couples. Most are with friends. Probably 60-70% of them are single too. ( I can't tell, really, I don't think there's anyway to tell, but I am just estimating for my own benefit :)).

Then why is it that most of us (read - each and every one of us) is looking for that someone special. We have wonderful friends, busy lives, things to do. Why do we even need that kind of shit? My friend happens to think, that when we look around we see people, with each other, all sappy, lovey-dovey and I'm-there-for-you-baby; and it rubs off you as a little something called "longing". I happen to disagree. I have no idea why, but I can't stand couples getting cozy around me. It somehow seems like an act of showing off . I rather look up to couples, who can just look at each other, and they know what the other one is thinking, without actually having to ...ummm.....demonstrate!! Okay, jokes apart, isn't that what we call chemistry, the sheer attraction between two people, who only they can feel and understand, and others can only feel there's something, but can't put a finger on exactly what it is. Alright....coming back from our little digression there (Clap Clap!!Snap back to reality!), the point I was trying to put forth was, even if you don't see such things around you, there's a little part in everybody which is searching, looking, seeking!

Is it companionship? kinship? security? comfort? having someone to praise you on those bad-hair days? :D or just having someone?
What is it that induces us to feel the way we do? And what should one do when struck by it? Fight it? Embrace it? Act upon it? Or just ignore it?

Any answers??

When I heard about the siege in Mumbai,it was mid-day in office and I was shocked but only a little, with the recent happenings, I thought this is another one of those, although distressed(I can't believe I am saying this) I was not, well, as shocked and devastated by it right away. But what followed has appalled me to the core, and more than that I am ashamed to admit that we as a country failed to deal with it as well as one would have expected. Especially being in a foreign country, where I meet people from all nationalities, and yet I have not discussed this with any of them, because I don't have any justification for how bad & irresponsible India looks on world map today!

Some of the things that more-than-bothered me were -

- If the gunmen can enter a hotel like Taj or Oberoi, from as simple a place as a back door, in what capacity do these places call themselves five stars or whatever when people carrying guns and ammunitions can just walk inside?

- Why is the police(which is the primary and major security force of a country) still carrying those ancient weapons which are now only suitable to be placed in the museum?

- Why is the media of our country allowed to/showing live telecast of how the NSG is trying to attack the terrorists? Didn't it strike anybody that, if I sitting here in America can view it live, so can the people instructing those gunmen over the satellite phones, thus not only putting them a step ahead of us always, but also endangering the very lives of these forces? How difficult is it to be a responsible media in such times of crisis, or is having the highest TRPs the only thing people understand these days? Shouldn't this basic lesson of morality and common sense be taught to reporters & journalists that they may be here to enlighten general public, but they should not become an hindrance in security operations at the very least, and definitely not aid the terrorist through some foolish act such as this?

- Is resignation of a handful of ministers really going to solve anything? Is taking your son and a filmmaker to a site so grave has only a punishment of being made to resign almost at the end of your term?

- Why is the financial capital of our country even after being hit so many times, still not been provided with the kind of security services it should be?

- And now, when it is over, why do I have this sinking feeling in my heart that just like before this too shall be pursued for a month by the media and general public before being abandoned/forgotten/given up on, till something even worse strikes?

Even as I write this, I am tempted to end this post right here, at the questions and not go on to write the cliched - 'I still have hopes for a better tomorrow, cos from inside I feel utterly hopeless, maybe cos I am sitting so far away from my motherland, doing 'something' becomes even more difficult, although I cannot imagine, what is it that I could have done if I was there. But, still, my undying hope and faith in my country does not allow me such despairing thoughts, and so thus I reiterate what millions of bloggers have written across the web - There's still hope. We can make a difference. Let's show them their place. Lets do it. Lets strive for a more secure and beautiful future!

Amen!

Read this...

...in the gym, while on stepper. Yes, yes, I am finally facing the truth that the extra cushion under my skin which so comforting to sleep in, especially if you are sleeping on a sleeping bag every night, is not so comforting to the eyes, or the clothes, which are now ready to burst at seams and scream "Horror!!", at being tortured by forcing my chubby self into them size 2 clothes, where yours truly is now somewhere between 4 and 6. (Actually 6, but latest shopping has seen me in denial and buying only size 4 clothes which at least spells healthy rather than huge.)

Anyway, it made a good read and also enabled me to work those 5 min more and lose another 20 calories to hit 200!

The Top 20 Things Oprah Knows for Sure

Since the day the late Gene Siskel asked me, "What do you know for sure?" and I got all flustered and started stuttering and couldn't come up with an answer, I've never stopped asking myself that question. And every month I must find yet another answer. Some months I feel I hardly know a thing, and I'm always pressed to make the deadline for this column. This time around, in honor of our tribute to the subject, I looked back and came up with my all-time top 20:

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

So thanks, Gene, for asking me the question. The answer continues…

You can find the article here.

Can't believe...

This is still happening! :(

The sad saga of the phone(s)!

To be really honest, this post is an outcome of my irritation, frustration, aggravation, vexation and some more 'tions', which were caused by mishaps surrounding the said phone, which incidentally and not surprisingly, was mine!!

So, it all started with, me deciding to take my phone with me while I was jogging(ahem!). And me deciding to wear tracks which didn't have pockets(what the f*** was I thinking!?). And then me deciding my hair was not tied quite right and was an obstruction while running(Well, I was running on a track lined with cute guys!!!). Since this task requires both my hands, I decided the best bet would be hold my phone in my mouth(!!!!!!). And then the Lord above decided, that's it sweetheart, you don't get to decide anymore. And He decided, to drop my phone in to the frigging river by the side of which this track is!!!! Which resulted into me going without a phone for a week...the first time.
Yes it happened again. And again.

The next time I had to go without a phone for a week was when I forgot my charger in another city, assuming my second charger from the visarjanofied phone is still at home, only coming home to discover that I cannot discover it!!! It has disappeared from the face of earth, and the police is still looking for it!

And then now, again I am abandoned by my phone, which, one fine evening decided to just power off and die. Forever. And then AT&T decided they couldn't decide whether I did fall into the 30-day bracket for phone replacement or not, resulting in me visiting them multiple times with no phone.

Why? Why me???

Currently listening to...

quite repeatedly...!
Me thinks Madonna looks hot despite hitting 50(Who would believe that!). Her attitude and her walk and her voice....like it all! Don't care much about Justin Timberlake though... :|
What say you?

Just a thought...

I think I'd rather be caught with bad hair than with bad shoes!!!

Lost innocence or changed for better?

Recently one of my close friends came to US, just like I had only a year back. She and I similar in more than one ways, to the extent that, sometimes I see my thoughts being spoken by her, without me having to say them. So when I was talking to her when she had just arrived, I found myself saying - yea I used to think the same way or yea I used to say that too more times than I would have liked. Many times when I found her thinking in a particular way which was naive and emotional, I immediately gave her harsh dose of reality which nobody had given me. I realized I was as innocent then. And I learned things the harder way. I didn't even notice I was doing that untill she pointed out after a month or so, that yea some things happened, and I thought of you like how you had warned me against it. I realized then I need to stop. i need to stop this subconscious effort of warning her that what she sees now is completely different from what it will be a year from now. And although it is a hard and staggering reality to digest, it is still better to deal with such shocks as they come, than being warned about them a year in advance...

But in the light of all this I can't ignore the fact that i have evidently changed so much. And when I see me now, a completely different me compared to only year back, I can't help but wonder - along the way did I lose my innocence or did I change for better?

Random thought....

Sometimes, a simple thing like reading a newspaper can make you realize how deeply connected you are to your roots, to the place where you grew up and spend more than 2 decades of your life.

I was reading news - New York Times. And then I opened the ePaper version of The Times of India. And then I read the entire paper for an hour. I went through every article, every small news about India. I suddenly realized, I don't even care what I read in New York Times sometimes, but I was actually reacting to the news here. I was feeling happy, sad, irritated, relieved and many other emotions sitting so far away from India. I felt nostalgic, sad and longed to be back. Its' not perfect - what with Amitabh Bachchan visiting Tirupati making a breaking news for a week - its definitely far from perfect.

It's....well it's just home....and is beyond adjectives like these!!

Few realizations of late!

- Carpe diem. Seize the day. Seize the moment. This moment, this time will never come in your life again. Be the moment sad or happy, live it to the fullest, you may never get a chance to feel it again!

- Always do what you want. You can never be happy doing something that others want you to do. Doing what you want will make you happy.

- Say 'No' if you want to. It's prfectly OK to say no. There's never a reason to feel guilty in exercising the right of saying no.

- Do not let others walk all over you. Ever. No matter who they are.

- Just go with the flow in life. Stop thinking or worrying about future. It NEVER helps.

Real Life or Fairy Tale?

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was given a choice. A choice of living in the fairy tale or real life. I don’t remember what I chose. But when I woke up I was very confused. What would I choose? What would anyone choose? I discussed this with my friends. One of them agreed with me, that the real life is too real sometimes. Sometimes we need those fairy tale moments just to reinforce our beliefs. But given a choice would we choose to abandon the real world and go live in a fairy tale? A place where there are difficulties to overcome, battles to be fought, combination of good and bad people to deal with; just like our world. But there’s also an end to it all. There’s also the magic potion, the handsome prince charming, and the funny friend always standing by your side! And most importantly there is ALWAYS “a happily ever after”. And there I thought I had my answer. Obviously yes!

But somewhere inside, I was not satisfied. It’s the damned beliefs I tell ya! Even though here, it was the belief in my own world. Despite that I come to hate it so much sometimes, the fact that it was my own to hate, was not allowing me to let go of it so easily, even in my post, even fictionally! I wondered why it was so difficult to accept an easy choice? Because we are trained to distrust the easier options? Or was there some other catch? I kept thinking, not just for hours, but for a good couple of days (wow, I really must care after all, think of all the time I spent thinking for the world I don’t even like most of the times!!). And then like a brick it hit me right in the head! ‘Seeing stars in broad daylight’ excluded (Sorry to disappoint you all!). The catch is – A fairy tale is good for only one person, the main character! It’s nice and happy in the end only for the Snow Whites, the Cinderellas, and the Shreks. What if, you are one of the dwarfs, or the ugly sister, or god forbid the Donkey!! And that’s the best thing about real world. We may not have magic potions, but we do have support of our family and friends which gives more strength than any magic potion. We may still have to deal with good and bad people and have battles to fight, but we know it’s all manageable. And there is no single happy ending, but there are many happy pauses, which work just as well, sometimes even better! And most importantly, in real life, you are the main character, the hero, the star of your story! For better or for worse!

Sayonara!

The Break-up

Yesterday, I got to thinking about relationships, any kind of relationship, and how there's always a break-up involved. If not anything else, it’s the "till death do us part" and the death does do people apart, and hence my point - There is always a break-up involved.

It’s sad and difficult and mind-crunching and stomach-twisting. And more so, if the break-up is the kind which we generally take it to be. A "break-up" break-up is without a doubt the most difficult phase of the relationship. And yes, most definitely it is as much the part of the relationship as the “flirting”, “going-out” or “being-there” is. As long as there's an emotion connecting two people, I believe, there's still a relationship, a thin string attached. And break-up is the last, the longest and the most painful emotion that two people share. And probably that is why it is so long and painful, because it is the tribute to everything shared before, a silent and sad eulogy, because this is where you can remember everything except the reason why you broke up. And yet somewhere deep down you just know you have to keep going, because there's no turning back after this.

I heard somewhere that it takes half the time of the duration of the relationship, to completely get over it. I don't know if it’s true. But this, I know - It may be possible to get over a relationship but it is next to impossible to get over a person. How do you just forget the one person, who was so important once, that you gave him all the right and the power to hurt you and make you happy or sad by his mere words? You may take him out of your life, but you cannot take him out of your heart, your mind. There will be a place in your heart reserved only for him, forever. There will always be a part of your heart, a small corner, where his memories will be locked up. That place in your mind, where you can happily remember him, and someday accept him to be as a painful, yet an exquisitely beautiful past, something that you will cherish for the rest of your life, something that nobody can take away, not even his own self if at all your paths happen to cross again.

And all there is, is the hope to reach there someday, that place, that state of mind, where one can happily think of the past as something worthwhile, something that gave a chance to give as much as receive, something that will always be enlaced in heart's deepest corners as a delicate memory to be treasured till the end of the eternity.

A hope for the end that is not bitter. Anymore.

Yes, it does!

Yes....Trust DOES have an expiry date. Mine just came for the certain individual whom I had addressed a few posts back.
At this point I almost feel cynical, and determined not to trust again.....ever!
But that's not the point, I just wanted to answer the question I asked.

Later!

Does trust have an expiry date?

Trust....something which I've always known, but believe that its now, that I've truly understood what it means.Or atleast I "trust" that I am in the process of understanding it :). Here, so far from home and close ones, you truly understand what it is that people are and how difficult it is to find the right people. And when I say right people, I mean right for you. Because,everybody is nice, but you may not find them so, only because of the circumstances. Maybe they are just not right for you. Maybe the time is not right yet.

So how do you figure out who the right people are? I guess you just know. Just like you know which dress to buy, when you see it(Though constrains like "money in the bank account" may actually stop you from buying it ;) ). I've realized after coming here, that there are so very few people in this world whom you can really trust. And then I started wondering, does even trust like every other emotion (sparing a bare few) have an expiry date. Of course, you can never stop trusting your parents, even siblings you may not trust for some reason but parents you can never not trust. I am talking about the trust which exists between two people out of bloodlock(if there exists such a term:)).

Does that have an expiry date, like you know for example canned milk, and like how it just ceases to be fit to drink after its expiry date. Just like that does even trust cease to exist between two people one day? When the relationship becomes sour, and when you just cant take anymore of it. You just have to throw it away. Or maybe cos the other person decides its time to not care about the trust anymore.

And if there exists a date like this, who defines it and how do you find out what it is?

I want to break free...

You left without a second glance
It all happened as if in a trance
I don't want to be trapped in an emotion
Pull me out, I am sinking into oblivion

Trust me!

In the recent turn of events in my life, I started trusting somebody, only after knowing them a couple of weeks. And then I came to my senses with a jerk.

And yet again, started asking questions -
How long before you start trusting someone? Should there be a time period defined, like they do while hiring, a 6 month probation period before full-time trust? Should you trust your gut-feeling, or should you listen to your brain?

I think sometimes, you just trust someone because at that moment you just want to trust that person, for this need to trust someone, because you are feeling so vulnerable. I got to discussing this with my friend, and she thought that sometimes strangers can be better listeners and maybe its for the best that you trust someone at that moment.

My dear not-a-stranger-anymore,
If you ever read this and understand that it is for you, I trusted you because I believed there was chemistry between us, there was a spark, and thankfully you have done nothing to break my trust yet.
But its best for me to break away from the shackles of vulnerability, where I give you the power to hurt me.
I think it will take a while before I am okay with giving you that power.
-Me

Later!

Sanity is a curse!

Dear Diary,

We had a party today. The three namesake houses that are considered as one. I always feel lonely at parties, uncomfortable in a group of people whom I don't know properly, to whom I can't say more than 3 sentences. Today I felt that exaggerated feeling of loneliness and emptiness inside me. With a room full of people, all drunk, all insane in their own world, swaying to music, dancing madly, and doing what their heart wanted. All I wanted to do was run, run away to my sane world, the world I know, the world of soberness. I don't drink. Not because I can't. Because I don't want to. Because I believe I am high enough on life. I don't think I need another stimulant.

It's strange how people behave when high. It's like you don't know them. And every person you catch saying - I'm not high, rest assured he's completely high. I feel scared of such people. More than scared, I feel awkward and unsure of how I should behave. And worried about some close ones.

It's weird. It's strange. It's almost alien. This feeling. I can't wait for my world to become sane again.

Ciao,
Shruti

After a long time..............

Calvin Time!! :) :D

If everyone cared...

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

~Nickelback

Being nice - investment or humanity?

This question has been nagging me for the past coupla days now. And no matter how much I ponder, I can't figure out the answer. Is being nice an investment or an act of humanity? When did being nice become an investment from the plain old "being nice"? And are all of us being nice only for a selfish motive at the end of the day?

I myself know that sometimes, I treat people nicely for some unseen time when I might need their favor. Its selfish and maybe even mean. But most of the times I am a nice pleasant person, who without any ulterior motive likes to put a smile on people's faces. No questions asked.

But recently, I discovered that sometimes, people refrain from doing that simple unselfish task of niceness, because there are low returns at the end of it. Is this right? I am confused, because if you look at it this way - they are at least not fooling a person to believe something which does not exist. They are being forthright & honest about their feelings. On the other hand, sometimes maybe its better to keep a person in dark rather than have them know the harsh truth, which can only hurt them.

And I kept asking myself, is it right to keep a person in dark by making nice, or is it better to come clean and move on in life?

Random stuff....

- I have been watching a lot of Sex & the City lately.(Yes....I am old enough to watch it AND understand it....) So much so that I actually got a little bored while watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S!!Gosh....I need to stop watching it!Not only I am addicted, I got my roommates addicted to it too!

- I love their shoe-craze. I think I am developing one myself :)

- I love their friendship.

- I am thinking of boycotting Valentine's Day from my life. No heart-break stories here people. The peer pressure is too much to take, and besides the response - "I have boycotted this useless day!!" sounds much more elegant than "ummm....uhuhuh....nuthing much" when people go like - "Soo-o what are your plans for the big day??"

- I am loving my single life right now. For the first time in my life, I don't feel bad about not having that someone special!Its great!!

- I have many questions in my mind about relationships, friendships. I think I keep getting more and more confused as I grow up. What's wrong with me? Am I growing backwards??[No Pun Intended :| ]

About average!!

So....this friend of mine, (unintentionally I think) pointed out, why on orkut he had given only one of the girls in our group the "sexy" rating - "Because you are pretty!". Huh!
Now I have a question. No I have several questions -
Is this right?I mean yeah agreed she's pretty, but does that give friends the right to judge other not-so-pretty people and also point out accordingly? Does sexiness depend only on looks(I know I know...obviously it does...but yet again...does it??). And is it right to get upset over something like this?

Even when you know, that what was said was probably true. Nope it IS true!Even though you go through such discrimination every f***ing day of your life (and also discriminate yourself sometimes!), and eventually learn to take it in your stride, and finally think you have grown immune to all such things....suddenly when you encounter such differentiation yet again from an angle you had least expected this to come from!Does it hurt? You bet it does!!

I am upset!Yes I really really am!I think I speak for all the "about-average" people out there, friends are the quarter we least expect such things from. Whatever!!
I think of it this way - at least this way we find people and friends, who are there with you or there for you, not just because you have a pretty face, but because of you.

Best!

Assignments, Jobs......and then some Life!

Its been really really really long since I posted anything! I don't know why. Actually I think I do. I am not about to give the same old excuse of being caught up in assignments, project etc. Because its just stupid! I just read a blog of a working wife & mother of two kids. And that just put me to shame. So here I am trying to get some grip on my life and also hoping to write more often.

So?Wat has been up with me lately?Many things actually. I won't say I am getting used to the life here. Because I know that is just an illusion. I am still not used to it yet...won't be for another year perhaps. But at least my life has been comparatively better because of some wonderful company, bearable jobs, and pretty okay semester till now(Isn't it interesting how I've listed the one thing that I actually came here for, in the end :)). Anyway. I don't care if you all don't want the details. Cos I am going to give it anyhow.

Okay.Lets start with friends. Have you been with a group of people, who swear twice in every sentence, drink 3 nights a week, and are as adorable as hugsies??No?Dude you gotta come to 313 Huntington Avenue then. I somehow always believed, guys who drink & smoke are not good. I have so changed my belief now. I mean how can you not like a bunch of people who are always there for you no matter what. Who crack the funniest of jokes. Who are there to put a smile on your face, every time you feel low. And who are just so adorable! I was chatting with my roommate some days back, and while pacifying her and trying to make her see the good in our lives right now, I realized it myself. I realized how lucky I am to be in such wonderful group of people in a strange country. A bunch of people whom I can count on. Trust me, it feels wonderful! It feels safe.

Jobs. Yes I am a cashier & a proctor(watchman if you will). And I have two words for you. Not easy! I mean to start with juggling between two jobs is itself kinda overwhelming. On top of it, being a cashier is lot more difficult than it seems like on the surface. Many people ask me why I don't leave it. Since I anyways have the other job. And many have done it too. They left this one when they got another and I don't blame them. Its not the best of jobs - pays less, hard work. So why haven't I left it? Okay here's my answer. I like to have my options open. People who know me, will vouch for the fact that I absolutely hate having no back-up option or back-up plan. Selfish?Yes maybe it is. But there are more reasons than just this. I like it. Yes I like it. I like to work there, because the managers there are really sweet and kind. Because this was the first place which helped me earn my bread and butter in this country. I owe something to them. I cant waste their training by just quitting. I know it's probably stupid, but there it is.

Working as a cashier has been one hell of an experience for me. Trust me, its not easy. I think it's more difficult than working as a software engineer. Because here you deal with people. As in deal with them right then and there. All kinds of people - nice, sweet, rude, impassive, impatient. And you gotta handle them. And its seriously fun. Earlier I used to get really tensed if someone was in a hurry, or feel really bad if somebody was rude to me, feel really happy if somebody was nice to me. Now I've become impassive towards all of this...well almost. If somebody is rude to me. I just give them a bad service :P . If somebody is nice to me, I give them extra smiles & have a good day wishes. If somebody's in a hurry, well I can't really help it. Can I? Remember the time when you are like really in a big hurry and you just want the person behind the counter to step on it? Lets just say, I know both sides of the coin now.

The proctor job. Thats just a fancy name for a watchman who sits in the lobby of university dorms and swipes cards for students to let them in. Easy? Pretty much. Except for the extreme inflexibility and odd times of shifts. Imagine getting up at 5 for a morning shift, when you were wide awake till 2 in the morning. Trust me it sucks. And the worst part is you get fired(!!) if you miss your shifts!!I am not complaining. Who promised this was going to be easy anyways??!!

My semester. Lets just say that its going really really fast. And I am actually glad for it. Only four weeks left (yippppeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!), and I know they are going to be the most difficult ones. I just hope & pray that I get through them without losing it. And get to the winter vacation fast!! :)

Till then.....Sayonara people!

Interesting...

Two halves have little choice but to join;
And yes they do make a whole
but two wholes when they coincide...
That is beauty.
That is love!

Did you ever...?

Did you ever......

- Feel the helplessness & pain of things/people slipping away from you...partly cos of your own actions...partly cos thats how life is...

- Notice that somehow the same people who have no time for you, have time for others...and you thought they were close to you...and more importantly they keep saying you are close to them...

- Acknowledge that people try to fool you on emotions...and you even believe them not because they are truthful, but because, you need to for your own sake...

- Feel unworthy because of distinction coming from the opposite sex...

- Regard life as the most boring affair, at that time in your life...and you have no clue what to do...

- Long that your best friend should be around, more than your family...

- Feel the pain and irony of the situation where you meet your Mr. Right and then realize that it is not, never going to work out because he is already engaged elsewhere...

- Wish you had straight hair instead of wavy (bloody hell...wavy hair suck!!!)

- Wish you were a little more girly!! (grin.... :D)

- Wonder - are people weird or is it me??

- Wish that all you had to do was travel around the world, read good books, listen to music, sing and play the guitar(or learn to play one), surf the net for fun (and not to search answers for algorithms assignments!!)....and still earn good money?

- Start writing a post and then go - hmmm...I have no idea how I should end this post....

Later!

Happy B'day!!!

Call me a narcissistic if you like but yes I am gonna write about my own birthday!For one thing it was something I had hardly expected to be like just after a month's stay in US. It was rocking!!!All thanks to my roommates and precious friends, whom I'm so lucky to have got! For one thing my roomies embarrassed the hell outta me by sending me on stage in a party yesterday night, with entire audience singing "Happy Birthday to you"...but on a brighter side, what they did was also something so very very special...something nobody has done for me before :)
Thank you guys.....!!! *hugs*
and guys - stop fighting to take more credit in this! It does not matter (to me!) I loved it anyways!! (and thats all that should matter to you!) :P

They got a cake, invited friends and we had a rocking time playing dumb charades :P
Simple. Uncomplicated. Fun. As one of the friend quoted yesterday - "the important thing is that we are having fun". So I am just soo-oo glad that I got to have so much fun, that too unexpectedly!(I know I am saying that again and again, but thats how I feel!And since its my birthday, I can have the privilege of saying anything I want!). After others left, my roomies insisted on talking/chatting till the wee hours of morning, and chat we did, with me struggling to keep my eyes open, and them calling "Shruti" every 5 min when they saw my eyes closed. Finally at 5 am I got everybody to sleep, threatening them that they should listen to me as its my birthday and many other things which I absolutely cannot remember right now. I am quite creative in my sleep too. But the fact is I was trying since a long time and i think even they were feeling sleepy :P

I wanted to upload photos also, and I will do it eventually, once I get them. But I just wanted to capture the essence of the feeling - that warm feeling of closeness that you get when you are having fun with friends, whom you have just met some days back, but you know inside, its going to end up in something really strong. I just pray to God that we can retain this innocence of our friendship for a long long long time!

God bless & Cheers!

PS: Thanks to everyone who took time and energy (trust me, its really precious here and cannot be wasted easily! I would know!!) to make it for my birthday and make me feel so special...Thank you all!!!!

Back to square one!

I am sitting in algorithms class, trying to not sleep :)
and guess wat, unlike India, here I get to do this!!!!

Okay back to lecture now!!!!

Today

I did laundry in the US for first time.
I cried because I am missing my family, friends and my country!

I miss India...I miss my friends....I miss mom, dad!

:(

Wel-kham to Bahstun!!

Okay that was - Welcome to Boston.

Yeah its true. I am here. Finally!

A few days before my arrival here, a well-meaning friend advised me - Beware of other students, they are very different here without their shell. I didn't quite understand it then. Now, I do! :) But I'll go into that later.

I think I should start from the start...yeah this is going to be quite long and the only savig factor would be - me getting bored of writing :)

So buckle up people, here's a sneak-peek into my US-travel and an 8-odd stay till now.

Okay, I don't want to bore you all by describing my flight, which in a few words consisted only of - sleep, drinking lots of water & juices(free of cost of course!), some real sad meals, shrek-3(he he), and some more sleeping. In the first half, I was seated in a cramped economy class, but somehow for the second half I had a seat in the first-class which had ample leg space to stretch in! I think the guy in Bombay who gave me both the boarding passes liked my cute little innocent (yeah right!) face!Whatever... Fortunately for me, immigration & customs check went as smooth as a layer of butter (be ready to face such food analogies, deprived of good food for 8 days can do this to you too!). The taxi ride from airport to my temporary accomodation for 20 days cost me around Rs.1280 ($32)! Can you beat that?!!In that amount I can go back n forth between Pune and Bombay atleast 4 times, including in-between journey food. Anyways, my first impression of Boston & US so to say was - hmmmm..well..this looks OK.....Honestly I wasn't impressed that much, not at all awed and amazed, as probably I had always imagined I would be. So I reach my temporary accomodation. And was advised by my friend NOT TO SLEEP. Well, you see I reached in the afternoon around 3, and to avoid jet-lag. So I ventured out alone, to check my university. It was exciting & a little scaring too, to roam in a foreign place, alone. It was fun to watch the foreigners. Although to put it in politically correct language I was the foreigner, and it was nice to be that for a change. The day passed quickly, and I don't really recall much as I was feeling too sleepy, except that I was missing home way too much, so much that I was wishing I had never come. In fact even today, I feel that sometimes(Shoot me if you want, but it's been just 8 days, what do you expect??!!)

From second day started my experiences which I think I will hardly forget ever in my life. It was these past eight days which helped me understand what my friend had qouted earlier. I was ditched unfairly by some people, met some really understanding people, and also grew up a little more. This was the period when I really understood that leaving your shell back home can make you take steps which can be almost cruel. Last eight days have consisted of nothing but, on-campus job hunt, place-to-live hunt, and some more on-campus job hunt. A lot of frustrating momets, moments when I broke down and cried like a baby, momemts when I missed India, family & friends so much it made feel almost suffocated, moments when I wanted to have faith in God and surrender to him all my worries, moments when I did just that, moments when I was amused, impressed with people around me, thankful for some people, not happy with a few others. I know in some days, I will put all this behind me. I know that some day after 2-3 years I will remember this period and feel nostalgic. But today, trust me it's not easy to go through with! It's not easy not to loose faith and patience. But I'm holding on, waiting for something good. I am sure God will not leave me alone and has a better plan for me than I can ever imagine.

Anyways, till that plan is disclosed to me, let me make some observations about this place called US of A:
- Many people break signals here too, but traffic is very very organized.
- Many drivers actually stop and let you cross the road voluntarily, the zebra-crossing or the crosswalk as its called here, has a respect.
- Truck drivers have the same obscene look all over the world.
- Everything is larger than life size here, right from cars to bananas to onions to potatoes to even people!
- American guys are cute :) and have really good physique (I have had like a million one-minute crushes till now). Not only they possess the looks but also the chivalry and sensitivity that, most Indian men lack/ignore/think nothing of.
- Customer service is something they understand quite well, even though they are less brighter than us.

Anyways, some of the nice things about Boston that I've seen till now include Charles river-side (its very romantic!!!), Waltham(a suburb out of Boston which has the BEST-LOOKING houses ever), the British look that Boston carries in most of its parts and my university. I will update, once I have some more observations to make, till then I am holding-on!!
Here. In Boston.

Sayonara!

On being late...

No not the late you think. Okay wait...Let me start from the start....

The other day, my mom and I visited somebody. Who? That's not important. The thing is - being in Chennai, my mom has no friends, relatives here and she gets bored. She tries everything to make herself busy in activities of her interest. Now, there's a group called "Maharashtra Samaj" formed by Marathi people. They are putting up a skit. And my mom saw this as a good opportunity of keeping herself busy as well as meeting new people. It didn't work out. Why? Not because she can't act, as she has won prizes for her acting skill in her college days. And if you want another proof , then maybe you should see me act someday (ahem!). I get my acting skills from her! So why did she get rejected? Because she was late. She was 20 years late for that role. That role was for a 30-year old woman. But 20 years back my mom was so wrapped up in taking care of us, she could not find time for herself. And now when she has time, time is gone. Is this one of the little jokes of the so called Life? It's NOT funny!!!

Why does a woman have to sacrifice her life, her hobbies, her interests. Does she feel less? No I think it's because she feels more! And please don't give reasons like "thats-how-it-always-has-been" or"because-she's-a-woman". They are just crap! Utter crap! Why is it, that when a woman sacrifices her job, her career, her life its only expected from her; and when a man does it, people shower him with accolades?

Is this fair? Is this right? Is this how life of a woman should be just because she's a woman?
And let me tell you something ironic - this role was available only because the woman who was supposed to play this role cannot give time as her kids' exams are coming!!

I wish I could make a difference!

Just needed to get this out of my system!

There are so many people who blog. I know a fraction, a very small fraction of them. Reading their posts I feel happy, sad, confused along with them. Sometimes reading their posts makes me laugh, and sometimes it makes me think... think really hard. And sometimes reading their posts makes me feel sad...and as much hard as it is to admit, sad for myself. I don't know if its right, wrong, selfish. But there it is. Is it wrong to wish for something that you don't have? Is it wrong to wish for something that you've always wanted? Is this wrong?

I don't have an answer to that. Mind you not for one moment am I thinking I'm unfortunate, because I'm not. I know I am very very lucky in most ways. Probably luckier than most people are in this world. And I thank God for that everyday! And yet sometimes, there's sadness, loneliness in me. A void, a gap, an unfulfilled wish. It's not about what I have or what I don't. It's about what I feel. And even I don't know what I am missing...

Do you feel this too?

Fish and visitors smell in three days. ~Benjamin Franklin

How true!

Recently, I had some guests come over a my place. Now, I'm not a bad person; I am just not that comfortable when there are guests in my house. I don't mind some close relatives, cos them I'm quite comfortable with, but when it comes to distant relatives, I can at the most survive for 3 days. And thats how long they had come for.

Now, I know that in India, guests are like God. But it gets really irritating if even they start behaving as if they are doing us a favor by just being there. I saw for 3 days, my mom, bhabhi & sometimes me, slog all the time for them. And all the guests kept warming our chairs/sofas/beds, never once offering to help even a little!! Whenever my family has gone as guests to anybody's place, I always remember my mom never lets me sit if the host is working, she and me always help. And its fair too. A person is doing a favor to you, when he lets you invade his privacy, his routine. The least that you can do is behave human. I wondered later on when my mom & bhabhi went down with viral, was the fatigue of last 2-3 days partly responsible for taking them down. I'm not writing this for fun, I felt deeply about this. I wouldn't want anybody to slog for me so much let alone fall sick cos of me. Thats why I came up with this -

Some guidelines that should be followed when you go as a guest to somebody who is not that close to you -

1. Do NOT live as if it's your own house.

2. Do NOT treat their living room as a place for you to roam around only in a short bermuda after bath, even though you might be doin this at your place.

3. Do NOT treat their TV as your own, respect their choices/preferences.

4. Do offer to help around in the chores as much as possible.

5. Do respect the fact that you are in their house and not the other way round.

6. Do follow this when you come to my place :P

Sayonara!

It was one of those days....

When ...

- you wake up early morning to drink a sip of water, and happily dream of how since the last of guests are leaving today, you can relax and have the whole house to yourself and watch TV whole day or surf the net.....and then when you actually wake up later dad comes and tells you Mom(M) & Bhabhi(B) (sister-in-law) both are down with high fever.

- Okay...u think, I've just been reading a book on positive thinking and this is just a minor setback, and can be handled. Guests leave, dad leaves for office, Bro leaves for office. You take M & B (whose condition has visibly deteriorated) to hospital, only to find that there is lots of crowd(everybody chose to fall sick today!), the cashier is not available (which is the first step to meet the doc, get any test done or whatever - pay for it!) and people are speaking nothing but Tamil so it takes you or them to repeat things at least twice so as to undertsand each other.

- Waiting for your turn you find yourself runing behind rude hospital maids to switch off various fans as M & B are shivering! After meeting the doc you find yourself again doing this and more running to get injections as you wait for the blood sample to be taken from both, and an injection to be given to both. M&B's condition keeps deteriorating. You are on verge of tears.

- While coming home you remember, you left your 85 yr old Granny(G) at home who must be all worked up due to worrying by now, and you also have to cater to her along with M&B.

- You spend the whole day running around after these 3, to give medicines, to give them juices (Doc has happily prescribed a liquid diet), give granny food/tea/juice/snacks after every 2-3 hours.

- Some people who had told they would be your roommates, tell you suddenly to F*** off, only with sugar coated words. You come to know that one of them said "I don't think I can live with her" (and you wonder whats wrong with me...heck she doesn't even know me!Gaawwwd!), and suddenly you find yourself in a "back to square one" condition, but now the time is running out.

- You are on the verge of tears again. Life seemed better until now even though you had to cook dinner single handedly, handle (rather manhandle) M&B to force them out of kitchen & assure them that you can take care of things, listen patiently to all the instructions coming from G,M & B. At least there weren't any people who said they don't think they can live with you.

- You realise the positive thinking book has had an effect cos even though you feel bad, keep feeling bad, but don't sulk or cry but try to find a solution & while doing that, also decide to post about it. :)

- You realise as you sign off, today wasn't so bad since you were able to manage pretty we-eell...except for the "namak-kam" daal & sabji! And the sour thought at the back of your mind that somebody doesn't wanna live with you, even without knowing you. That person has managed to form judgement of you just by sitting across you in Barista for one evening without even speaking to you. And you realise you yourself on the other hand have spent your entire life trying to justify wrongs of people and trying not to judge them. And you also realise, that you want to keep doing that, cos thats the way it works for you :)

And you doze off to sleep....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

It's decided!

Yes! It's decided! I finally have zeroed in on where I'm going for my honeymoon! No, my marriage isn't fixed guys....!! In fact its no where even close...(whatever...) There's another reason. I love to travel. And see beautiful landscapes, mountains, etc. And today I got these in my mail -




How in the world can anyone not fall in love with a place like this. And to share it with the most beloved one.....aaah soooo romantic!
Hence....its decided!

Sayonara!

I changed my mind...

Some days back I wrote this. But I have changed my mind now. I judged people whom I had met that day, not on that day of course(that's why I wrote that, I'm not as crazy as you think I am); but after more interactions with them. Unfortunately, my experience did not turn out that great. And let me tell you this -

• It's not easy to be nice to people who have been not nice to you before.
• Its very difficult not to get nasty thoughts like - Why should I help him now? He didn't help me when I needed him to!!
  
• Even if you don't act maliciously, and do help them after all, you cant help thinking - now you've come to me!! NOW...you need me.
• And lastly you end up feeling guilty about thinking all such stuff!

So anyways...what I think now is, there is hardly any other way but not to judge people. I think we humans wouldn't be us (you know the whole crap about us being the finer species with acute brain power n blah blah blah) without the judging bit inside us.

So I think we can be okay about it not feel guilty about it :)
Atleast that's what I will follow...because I have also learnt that it is this very trait that leads you to form the best of relations with those whom you judged wrong first. :)

Sayonara!

Ghosts from the past still haunt me sometimes!

Has it ever happened to you, that there was something/somebody that you felt very strongly about in the past, and suddenly something/somebody else comes up, who reminds you of them so very badly, that all the feelings come rushing back and almost torment you?!

This happened to me very recently. I spoke to somebody concerning some work, and his voice was so much alike to certain somebody in my past, that I have to control myself from blurting out anything stupid! After I start talking to him, I have to make conscious efforts to remember that he's not the one he sounds like! And after I've hung up, I feel so so sad, remembering my past....

Has this ever happened to you?

Whacky stuff

A dull rainy day. A slow lunch in company. Does this:

When a man falls from first floor, he goes-
Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

When a man fall from eighth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!!
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And then finally
When a man fall from fourth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! :)

And this:
Sensation of tension = Tensation :P



Later!

Hollywood v/s Bollywood

I think people who know me, would vouch for the fact that I absolutely love everything Indian. And I can give any (and believe me when I say "ANY") arguments to prove how India is better, or is improving at things. And I hate people who think foreign countries are better than India. Maybe they are in some respects, but they also NOT in many others!

Anyways, so at lunch today, me & my friends got into discussion about movies made in Hollywood & Bollywood. I recently saw Pirates of the Caribbean. It was a strictly-OK movie. And then there is our very own Shivaji-The Boss, released just a few days back which is a hot topic of discussion for people who make fun of...umm...'such' things. So I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it has all the all-too-famous "tricks & antics" of Rajnikanth. And while I too think it's funny, I hate it when people start comparing it(or any Bollywood movie for that matter) to Hollywood movies. I mean Johnny Depp has his own style, and many people like him. But the same goes for Rajnikanth, and many people DO like him too! I may not be one of his die-hard fans, but I feel that if people like what he does, and if thats his style, well I'm not the one who'll compare it with Hollywood and mock it. (You get it - the point is, I'm attacking Hollywood comparison & people who think its better than Bollywood. this is one of those "any" arguments) :)

Anyways, so our discussion proceeded further where I went on to point out that, people often critisize that Bollywood movies forget laws of Physics, gravity etc while putting in effects, but do they notice that Hollywood movies have long forgotten not only the laws of Physics (e.g. Matrix) but also of Chemistry(e.g. Terminator) and Biology(e.g. Jurrasic Park). Then why do we appreciate that and laugh at our own movies?

Another thing that I came up with (I'm very enthusiastic in debates about India, movies etc) -
Terminator has the villian whaterer-his name-was, who liquifies any time he wants, solidifies any time he wants, and takes any human form that he has touched. If anybody was as lousy as I was in my 6th - 7th standard, they must've seen many movies that followed the concept of Icchadhari naag(Takes-the form-it-wants snake [couldn't come up with anything better]). These reptiles were intelligent human-snakes, that could take a form, any form according to their wish, they only had to see the person once. Now doesn't the Terminator concept look like an absolute rip-off of this concept. And I can swear on my life, these snake movies came way before it. Even if it wasn't copied from here, well there you go, if you appreciated & were awed by the fiction & concept that they showed in Terminator, India was already in the been-there-done-that stage!Hah!

So there....!!
I've proved my point!India & bollywood is no less(in fact its more!), and as to giving an answer to the "original" concepts in hollywood movies, we've already done that baby! (YAWWWN) (GRIN)

Sayonara! :)

Cheeni kum - Some fundas from the flick

The "Happy-sad/Sad-sad" funda:
Why are you sad-sad? You should be happy-sad.
Why are you sad?
Because somebody hurt you.
Who can hurt you?
Somebody who is close to the heart.
Who is close to the heart?
Somebody with whom we are happy.

So we were happy thats why we are sad na...
So be happy-sad...not sad-sad!


The "If you cry, you'll empty your heart of love for that person" funda:
Don't cry dear....
You love her a lot...Don't empty your heart of her love by crying...
Why do you cry?
Because your heart is heavy.
Why is your heart heavy?
Beacause it is filled with love.
What happens when you cry?
Your heart feels lighter.
Why does it feel lighter?
Because you empty the love in your heart through tears.

That's why you shouldn't cry for somebody who's gone....

The "Reason why men & women marry" funda:
Should we get married?
Why?
Because Marriage is the price men pay for sex, and sex is the price women pay for marriage. So after learning this deep philosophy of marriage from me, will you marry me?
Yes.

My views:
I like the first one best...the other two I don't really agree with..but whatever :)
Very entertaining movie. Must watch to relax, and enjoy some great satirical comedy from some brilliant actors.

Sayonara!

Is it just me?

A friend (say S1) came to stay at my place yesterday night and we were cooking dinner. We started discussing about food and how different people cook in different ways(I know pretty lame but what else would we do while cooking....)

Now, to give a little background-her marriage is fixed & she was telling me about the kind of food they prepare at her in-law's place. The following conversation took place. It is in marathi(translation provided) -

S1:
Arre tyachi(her fiance) aai, majhya aai sarakhach jevan banavate...fakt thodya bhajya veglya karte.....ti vangyat danyacha kut taakte.....etc..

(His(her fiance) mom, cooks food the same style my mom does...except for some vegetables that she cooks differently.....she puts groundnut powder in eggplant.....etc..)

Me:
uuhhh...uuhhh
(Nodding along)

S1:
mala tevadha fakt shikava lagel...
(I'll just have to learn those things that she cooks differently)

Me:
changala aahe na mag!
(that's really good then!)

Me(thinking inside):
Shit!shit!shit! She is soo ready to get married! She's jus an year older to me. Look at me, I cannot even imagine eating something that tastes & is cooked differently from what my mom makes. It freaks me out to even think that I have to learn stuff formally from a Saas (mother-in-law) and cook like her. (I was pretty much freaked out even then!)

It suffocates me to think I have to go live wth a new family and call them my family...follow their rules & regulations...behave like an adult, mature person...know stuff about running kitchen & house...be ready to hear things from in-laws patiently...not be a rebel that I've always been and probably always will be...

OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!!!!!!!!

Relax Shruti.....breath in-breath out, breath in -breath out, breath in-breath out....
phhheeewwww!

I think I might have died just now due to suffocation....but I'm okay now!Anways...so in the end I'm thinking, is it just me who freaks out like this?Is there no one else?!!

What personality are you??

Saw this on a Website....rather stumbled upon it(I know i know..I'm using it wa-aay too much to post stuff....but can I help it if I stumble upon such good stuff and wanna share) :)

Read on...and yes...Don't forget to comment!If you don't, this time that may lead to serious threat to your life ;)
Just kidding!But yeah...would love to know what you are... :)

Psychological ("personality") Types

According to Jung's theory of Psychological Types we are all different in fundamental ways. One's ability to process different information is limited by their particular type. These types are sixteen.

People can be :
Extroverts or Introverts, depending on the direction of their activity;
Thinking, Feeling, Sensing, Intuitive, according to their own information pathways;
Judging or Perceiving, depending on the method in which they process received information.

Extroverts vs. Introverts

Extroverts are directed towards the objective world whereas Introverts are directed towards the subjective world. The most common differences between Extroverts and Introverts are shown below:

Extroverts are interested in what is happening around them are open and often talkative compare their own opinions with the opinions of others like action and initiative easily make new friends or adapt to a new group say what they think are interested in new people easily break unwanted relations

Introverts are interested in their own thoughts and feelings need to have own territory often appear reserved, quiet and thoughtful usually do not have many friends have difficulties in making new contacts like concentration and quiet do not like unexpected visits and therefore do not make them work well alone

Sensing vs. Intuition

Sensing is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its physical qualities and its affection by other information. Intuition is an ability to deal with the information on the basis of its hidden potential and its possible existence. The most common differences between Sensing and Intuitive types are shown below:

Sensing types see everyone and sense everything live in the here and now quickly adapt to any situation like pleasures based on physical sensation are practical and active are realistic and self-confident

Intuitive types are mostly in the past or in the future worry about the future more than the present are interested in everything new and unusual do not like routine are attracted more to the theory than the practice often have doubts

Thinking vs. Feeling

Thinking is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its structure and its function. Feeling is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its initial energetic condition and its interactions. The most common differences between Thinking and Feeling type are shown below:

Thinking types are interested in systems, structures, patterns expose everything to logical analysis are relatively cold and unemotional evaluate things by intellect and right or wrong have difficulties talking about feelings do not like to clear up arguments or quarrels

Feeling types are interested in people and their feelings easily pass their own moods to others pay great attention to love and passion evaluate things by ethics and good or bad can be touchy or use emotional manipulation often give compliments to please people

Perceiving vs. Judging

Perceiving types are motivated into activity by the changes in a situation. Judging types are motivated into activity by their decisions resulting from the changes in a situation. The most common differences between Perceiving and Judging types are shown below:

Perceiving types act impulsively following the situation can start many things at once without finishing them properly prefer to have freedom from obligations are curious and like a fresh look at things work productivity depends on their mood often act without any preparation

Judging types do not like to leave unanswered questions plan work ahead and tend to finish it do not like to change their decisions have relatively stable workability easily follow rules and discipline

These four opposite pairs of preferences define eight different ways of dealing with information, which in turn result in sixteen Psychological Types:

ENTp, ISFp, ESFj, INTj, ENFj, ISTj, ESTp, INFp, ESFp, INTp, ENTj, ISFj, ESTj, INFj, ENFp and ISTp,
where E - Extrovert, I - Introvert, S - Sensing, N - Intuitive, T - Thinking, F - Feeling, j - Judging, p - Perceiving.
So, ENTp for example would be Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving type.


BTW I am - ESFp :) (Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)
This of course is my opinion!!
and about all this you can more information here.

Waiting for your comments!!

Adios!!

To my Best Friend

Dear S,

You're one of a kind, different from others,
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers,
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game,
But not just another, in the long chain,

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold,
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old,
You'll always be there, I know that is true,
I'll always be here, always for you.

-Me

Disclaimer: I have not written this myself, but hey finding such nice stuff is difficult too :)

And then there were none...

I had a presentation today. I worked my ass off for it in the past two weeks. Worked even on saturdays(!!!!)[for those unaware, working on weekend is considered a big, even magnanimous sacrifice]. I am not even gonna go into how it went. Lets just suffice to say that, I have slept in others' presentations and now I know how they must have felt. :)

And right now, although I have things to do, I am suddenly feeling very empty. I am relaxed yet the tension of the presentation hasn't worn off completely. Its a weird feeling. I was longing to write a post and now that I am doing it its not that satisfactory.......naaaay....who am I kidding...I am so happy to be finally writing here :D

But yeah, the feeling weird part still stands. As I'm still worried/tensed/scared about something, even though there isn't much I should be worried about!

Anyways...just for the record, this is my first ever presentation where the audience did not really grasp what I was saying! Vaise I do pretty good job of it. Today it was - a very complicated concept(which took me 2 months to understand myself btw) + after lunch session that put everybody off to sleep. I think lesser doses or atleast doses in installments will be better next time :)

Boy....I didn't expect myself to be so positive about this! This is a surprise!!(And I like it) :)

Adios!

For my mom...

This is something that I am posting on an impulse....
And this I think represents only a very very very small fraction of what my mom is to me and how much I love her!

Warning: Comment anything even remotely funny/teasing for this post and you will face some serious hazard to your life!

Today...

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles...
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...
An unexpected phone call from an old friend...
Green traffic lights on your way to work...
The fastest line at the grocery store...
A good sing-along song on the radio...
And your keys right where you left them...

Today...
I wish you a day of ordinary miracles....

3 reasons

There are 3 reasons for this post. Oh btw, before I mention them, you can stop reading right here as they are all as useless as this post itself(actually I'd prefer you reading till the end since I am taking a lot of trouble writing this...I just wanted to use that line once ;>). Okay so I think you would like to know the reasons now? Really??!! That interested in others' , even though she has warned you already about it being mundane and useless?!! Wow...I would say I'm flattered, to make you happy, but I'm not!And I generally don't lie unless its a matter of life & death (read matters which profit me!). And obviously this is not that.

But it's not that I never lie....sometimes I do lie, but this I am sure is not one of those times. I mean yeah everybody lies, and that's really no crime as such, but it's wrong! And I avoid it as much as I can. Don't you too? I'm sure you do!I mean I'm sure you do lot of other wrong things too, but frankly speaking I am not interested in knowing! And of course I am not going to talk about wrong things that I do. This is my blog and I should be praising myself here, I have every right to! But as I am very very modest, I will refrain from doing that. (I can almost hear that sigh of relief :| )

So anyways, since you have read till here (Gawd..!), I might as well tell you the reasons for this post. I think you have earned it :)
So here goes -
1. I have nothing to write about.
2. But I want to write something.
3. I'm waiting for the Remote Desktop connection to finish log-in so that I can start work :)

And since now it has set-up the connection(Damn!)I will have to get back to work(boo-hoo-hoo).

Sayonara!!

Who is your true friend?

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked...
:)

Alvida...

Jinke darmiyaan gujri thi abhi kal tak yeh meri zindagi,
Lo un bahon ko, thandi chaon ko,
hum bhi kar chale alvida..

alvida...alvida meri raahein alvida....
...meri saansein kehti hai alvida...