What do you call a guy who is extremely loving and cute(&hot!) and makes me laugh and really patient with me the whole day, and then some more?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My boyfriend!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Wishing & Hoping & Praying
...for a happy conclusion. Don't want to be disappointed at the end of it all!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Can't stay away for long!
I am getting this itch to write something, and my empty head gives me nothing to write (unless you want to hear me crib some more? No, right. See how well I know you!).
So this interesting tag I picked up from Rani.
So this interesting tag I picked up from Rani.
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Well, it has happened more than once. First time I couldn't get over it. The next time, I just said - Shit happens. And I moved on.
2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
Find a job that I love. Buy an apartment for aai-baba. Own entire closet(s) for shoes, and have enough money to buy all kinds of shoes!!!
3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
There are too many people to list here!
4. What would do with a billion dollars?
Stop looking for job. Start apartment hunting for mom dad. Go shoe-shopping, all around the world! yaay!
5. Would you fall in love with your best friend?
I did. The trouble was he didn't ;) But I would say - you can't really know if you want to be with someone you "date" them.
6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both, ideally. Being loved the way you want to be loved, and loving someone the way they want to be loved is a rare find though.
7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
I can't wait. I am very impatient.
8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Well. Forget about him. Delete him from my orkut, facebook and my life. Life's too short!
9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
Education.
10. What takes you down the fastest?
Ummm. I am sure as hell not disclosing that! :)
11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Tricky question. But one thing I know - I want to be with M after 10 yrs too. It would be interesting to see what new quirks he develops and what happens to the ones present right now!
12. What’s your fear?
Of losing my close ones.
13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
almost-to-be-married-single & poor-turned-overnight-rich?
14. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
Someone who can love me back. Yes, I am selfish that way.
15. Would you give all in a relationship?
Give all. Take all.
16. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Still trying to. Just as someone else somewhere might be trying to do the same for me.
17. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Single. No, in a relationship. No wait - single. Naaa - relationship. Ooops - Didn't mean to tell you'll my biography!
So who wants to do this one? M - obviously you. Avanti you? (whenever you find time)
Okay. Can't think of nemore bakras! :) Whoever else wants, would love to read your answers... muhuhahahahahaha
Sayonara.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Typical day...
...these days is very much like those forwards that all of us have read -
1. Wake up, check mail.
2. Brush teeth, if time permits get coffee/cereal, check mail.
3. Study, apply, read, check mail.
4. Rush to take a bath, get ready, check mail, run out of the house (remember to take a jacket, Fall is here; but forget to have lunch)
5. Come back home, starving, check mail, stuff myself with some junk
6. Check mail
7. Check mail
8. Sleepy, try not to fall asleep(actually rarely am I trying, I am almost always sprawled on the bed even before feeling sleepy), check mail.
9. No mail :(
10. But still, the eternal hope does not die, so check mail & go to sleep
11. Wake up, check mail..
12. You get the picture!
Sayonara
1. Wake up, check mail.
2. Brush teeth, if time permits get coffee/cereal, check mail.
3. Study, apply, read, check mail.
4. Rush to take a bath, get ready, check mail, run out of the house (remember to take a jacket, Fall is here; but forget to have lunch)
5. Come back home, starving, check mail, stuff myself with some junk
6. Check mail
7. Check mail
8. Sleepy, try not to fall asleep(actually rarely am I trying, I am almost always sprawled on the bed even before feeling sleepy), check mail.
9. No mail :(
10. But still, the eternal hope does not die, so check mail & go to sleep
11. Wake up, check mail..
12. You get the picture!
Sayonara
Friday, September 25, 2009
Did you miss me yet?
No?
Fine. I was gonna say I missed you, but now I don't think I will.
And anyway, I barely have time to write this post, let alone deal with emotions! I just came online to tell you all that, since I am now back to school, this blog as history has seen for 4 semesters now, is gonna go into a sort-of hibernation. More so, with all the job search going on.
But, the good news is (which is assuming that you actually thought of the previous news as the bad one!), since bloggers' itch isn't easy to control, I do mini-blog quite regularly on twitter. So yeah, follow me right there.
And yes, I did meet M's parents and it went well! But the detailed story will have to wait till I can find time enough to get my life, room and closet in order..not necessarily in that order!
Ciao people. See you (hopefully) pretty soon!
Take care...
Fine. I was gonna say I missed you, but now I don't think I will.
And anyway, I barely have time to write this post, let alone deal with emotions! I just came online to tell you all that, since I am now back to school, this blog as history has seen for 4 semesters now, is gonna go into a sort-of hibernation. More so, with all the job search going on.
But, the good news is (which is assuming that you actually thought of the previous news as the bad one!), since bloggers' itch isn't easy to control, I do mini-blog quite regularly on twitter. So yeah, follow me right there.
And yes, I did meet M's parents and it went well! But the detailed story will have to wait till I can find time enough to get my life, room and closet in order..not necessarily in that order!
Ciao people. See you (hopefully) pretty soon!
Take care...
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
What's your story?
Everything has a story. Budding love has a story. Broken up love has a story. Long lost love has a story. Meeting your best friend has a story. Getting your permanent job has a story. I have most of these stories except for the last one. And right now I am trying to walk through one. Hopefully it will have a happy ending. But like every story it has disappointments, rejections and depressions! That part of the story sucks. Doesn't it? I know. I am hoping it ends soon for me. There's also discussion, anticipation and palpitation part left in it. After which I am hoping (with fingers of both hands & toes of both feet & both legs crossed) for the celebration, exhilaration and relaxation(as in breathing a sigh of relief) . Annnyway. I will keep you guys updated about my status with this. Yes I will. So what if you find it boring. It's not a rosy picture all the time is it. That's right it's not. Okay stop arguing already!
In other bit of news I am at home in India for a fortnight!!!!!!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I am so enjoying every moment of this (apart from the walking through the afore mentioned story bit) :)
And I have finally decided to come clean and declare that I too am a shopaholic after I read the confessions of a fellow shopaholic Rebecca Bloomwood from here. It's good to know you are not alone.
So guys...what's your "story"? Are any of you shopaholics? Please share. Me needy some spirit-lifting!
Ciao.
In other bit of news I am at home in India for a fortnight!!!!!!!
yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I am so enjoying every moment of this (apart from the walking through the afore mentioned story bit) :)
And I have finally decided to come clean and declare that I too am a shopaholic after I read the confessions of a fellow shopaholic Rebecca Bloomwood from here. It's good to know you are not alone.
So guys...what's your "story"? Are any of you shopaholics? Please share. Me needy some spirit-lifting!
Ciao.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Many people die at twenty FIVE and aren't buried until they are seventy FIVE - Benjamin Franklin
Okay that is not at all related to what the post is about except in a very subtle way. Rani tagged me for - "FIVE lesser known facts about me" (I assumed, by me she meant me and not her!) Okay okay..I'll cut the crap and state them now....
Hold your breath. Okay don't. I will. Here goes.
1. At one point in my life people thought I was a lesbian.
So why? Well cos -
- I was in an all girls college & all girls hostel.
- I was and still am a very shows-my-affection-openly sorta person - so hugs and kisses even to girls are normal.
- I was in all girls college, so people did not have enough gossip floating around.
And the strangest thing of all is - everybody knew I had a boyfriend, and still they thought this. I think since then I have changed to this neurotic person with a complex of people. That's right. I was very outgoing and friendly before (my parents still think I am), but now I am just plain scared to interact with people, not knowing what they think of me. Yes, it may seem funny now, but it was pretty traumatic - all the negative publicity and dirty "details" that my friends told me people are telling each other. It was ugly. I was too innocent to imagine people could think like that.
And here's my disclaimer - I am not saying being gay is wrong/bad/abnormal. To each his/her own. You are the way you are, and good to be what you are.
My only point is - Negative rumors and hearing horrific details about one's 'lesbian' acts are not a nice supplement for your teenage. Even though you know you are not wrong, you feel ashamed, scared and guilty. I still feel horrible thinking about it, and have told this to very few people in my life(despite half my hostel knowing). I have never written about it, and I don't know if I ever will. But this incident took a hard blow at my self-confidence. I laugh at it now, but it was anything but pretty then.
2. I am terrified of turning 25.
I never planned this but I had assumed turning 25 would bring wisdom and maturity along with more successful life. I don't expect they will be arriving in a month if they haven't till now.
3. I freak out about how my life will change after marriage and kids.
I don't want those changes.
4. I love Bombay.
I have spent the best years of my life there. I am just not sure if I can take it for a lifetime.
5. I want to get into full time social service some time in my life.
And sooner rather than later.
Phew. That was tough.
So now who should I tag for this....hmmm?
I tag M, Rajita, Rambler.
Have fun guys! :)
Hold your breath. Okay don't. I will. Here goes.
1. At one point in my life people thought I was a lesbian.
So why? Well cos -
- I was in an all girls college & all girls hostel.
- I was and still am a very shows-my-affection-openly sorta person - so hugs and kisses even to girls are normal.
- I was in all girls college, so people did not have enough gossip floating around.
And the strangest thing of all is - everybody knew I had a boyfriend, and still they thought this. I think since then I have changed to this neurotic person with a complex of people. That's right. I was very outgoing and friendly before (my parents still think I am), but now I am just plain scared to interact with people, not knowing what they think of me. Yes, it may seem funny now, but it was pretty traumatic - all the negative publicity and dirty "details" that my friends told me people are telling each other. It was ugly. I was too innocent to imagine people could think like that.
And here's my disclaimer - I am not saying being gay is wrong/bad/abnormal. To each his/her own. You are the way you are, and good to be what you are.
My only point is - Negative rumors and hearing horrific details about one's 'lesbian' acts are not a nice supplement for your teenage. Even though you know you are not wrong, you feel ashamed, scared and guilty. I still feel horrible thinking about it, and have told this to very few people in my life(despite half my hostel knowing). I have never written about it, and I don't know if I ever will. But this incident took a hard blow at my self-confidence. I laugh at it now, but it was anything but pretty then.
2. I am terrified of turning 25.
I never planned this but I had assumed turning 25 would bring wisdom and maturity along with more successful life. I don't expect they will be arriving in a month if they haven't till now.
3. I freak out about how my life will change after marriage and kids.
I don't want those changes.
4. I love Bombay.
I have spent the best years of my life there. I am just not sure if I can take it for a lifetime.
5. I want to get into full time social service some time in my life.
And sooner rather than later.
Phew. That was tough.
So now who should I tag for this....hmmm?
I tag M, Rajita, Rambler.
Have fun guys! :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Is this for real?
That's what I thought in my head when I saw a friend request on orkut from my mom. Yea that's right - my mom. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the request. I called her up to confirm if it was really her or someone playing a prank on me. Turns out it was her. She was all chill about it, like yea I joined orkut, now I can keep a watch on you even there, watcha gonna do, types. Actually no, all these were my thoughts. She actually was all cool about it in a way like yea, I've been surfing the net for some years now, writing mails, booking movie, train, flight tickets, googling for things, didn't you see this coming? And she's right. I should have.
So what did I do after confirming it was her who sent the request. I scanned my profile, pics everything to see if there's anything that might offend her. Yea I know, she's all modern in a way to book movie tickets online, google "remedy of insomnia", sms her friends on friendship day and join orkut, but she still freaked out after watching Love Aaj Kal, and was questioning me if it was true that couples today really do all the "stuff" shown in the movie. Trust me I had a hard time trying to change the topic!Damn you Imtiaz Ali. It's weird with moms. One moment they are all modernized what with - "you should wear what you want", "it's okay that you left your previous boyfriend and now have a new one" and "oh I am okay with it.. live with boys if you have to", and the next one they are all "I am very shocked at what they showed in Love Aaj Kal, it's abominable and shameful, I hope you know what I am saying". Phew.
But they are adorable. Just so cute. And lately I am realizing so human:)
In fact if I was being interviewed by CNN and asked to name one human being I am most proud of? It would be this one. My mom. And she does not earn it just by being my mom. No sir. She earns it for being the extra-ordinary woman that she is. I haven't met anybody else who learnt and mastered swimming at the age of 50. Or who learnt to sms or surf the net all on her own(I did not teach her one thing about it). Or who is and always has been the sole point of contact between the rest of the members of family. A great manager-material wasted I would say.
It's not mother's day. Neither is it her birthday. It's just the day I am again reminded of how blessed I am to have her as my mother. And also the day when my mom joins orkut. I think I am going to scan my Facebook profile just in case she catches up with me there too. And thank god I am not on twitter yet!
Later.
So what did I do after confirming it was her who sent the request. I scanned my profile, pics everything to see if there's anything that might offend her. Yea I know, she's all modern in a way to book movie tickets online, google "remedy of insomnia", sms her friends on friendship day and join orkut, but she still freaked out after watching Love Aaj Kal, and was questioning me if it was true that couples today really do all the "stuff" shown in the movie. Trust me I had a hard time trying to change the topic!Damn you Imtiaz Ali. It's weird with moms. One moment they are all modernized what with - "you should wear what you want", "it's okay that you left your previous boyfriend and now have a new one" and "oh I am okay with it.. live with boys if you have to", and the next one they are all "I am very shocked at what they showed in Love Aaj Kal, it's abominable and shameful, I hope you know what I am saying". Phew.
But they are adorable. Just so cute. And lately I am realizing so human:)
In fact if I was being interviewed by CNN and asked to name one human being I am most proud of? It would be this one. My mom. And she does not earn it just by being my mom. No sir. She earns it for being the extra-ordinary woman that she is. I haven't met anybody else who learnt and mastered swimming at the age of 50. Or who learnt to sms or surf the net all on her own(I did not teach her one thing about it). Or who is and always has been the sole point of contact between the rest of the members of family. A great manager-material wasted I would say.
It's not mother's day. Neither is it her birthday. It's just the day I am again reminded of how blessed I am to have her as my mother. And also the day when my mom joins orkut. I think I am going to scan my Facebook profile just in case she catches up with me there too. And thank god I am not on twitter yet!
Later.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
8
8 TV Shows I Love to Watch:
- Sex & the City
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S
- The Big Bang Theory
- That 70's Show
- Full House
- Dekh Bhai Dekh
- KBC
- Any show that is showing latest movies' promos
ps: The reason why most/all of these shows are old is none of my homes since 2000 have had a TV/Cable(First hostel and then student apartment in US)
8 Favorite Places to Eat:
- Home
- Come-in, Pune
- Durga, Pune
- McDonalds
- Quiznos
- The Kebab Factory
- Moby Dick's House of Kabob
- M-cooked prawns & chicken
8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
- Came to know about some job opportunities
- Tried to work at getting them
- Bought Oakley's glares for bro
- Ogled at ALDO shoes while at the mall
- Watched "Sach ka Samna" for the first time
- Laughed too hard at a joke that I cracked
- Laughed too hard at a joke that M cracked
- Laughed too much basically, and loved it
8 Things I Look Forward To:
- Watching what happens next in "Sach ka Samna"
- Getting a full time position of my interest
- Meeting my family soon
- Meeting M's family soon(more on this later!!)
- Living & sharing an apartment with M(the reason why marriage ceremony is not on my list is cos I find it a big taxing thing that can be avoided, but can't be!)
- Graduating
- Joining a mentoring program
- Reading a good Agatha Christie book
8 Things I Love About Winter:
(this one's gonna be the toughest, I am thinking of cheating)
- It's not blazing hot
- First day of Snow
- Gloves
- The way I can see my breath
- The warm feeling of entering an enclosed centrally heated place
- Making footprints in the snow
- Closed school due to snowstorm
- I hate too much cold.Third point is a lie.
8 Things on my Wish List:
- Fossil Watch - this, this & this (if anyone's taking notes)
- Pearl-drop earrings
- All seasons of SATC
- Aldo Shoes
- NY&C Clutch & Tote
- Abercrombie Vintage outerwear
- Figure to wear Herve Leger Dress, and then one dress too please!
- Good health & happiness for my entire family, friends & M.
8 Things I’m Passionate About:
- Reading
- Writing
- Traveling
- Watching movies(only in theaters)
- Did I mention Reading
- Community work
- Shopping
- Shoes, Clothes & Handbags
8 Words or Phrases I Use Often:
- Fuck
- Oh man!
- Fucking shit
- LOL
- Shit
- WTF
- Really?
- Frigging
8 Things I Have Learned From My Past:
- Being emotional gets you nowhere
- Speak up, that's the only way to go, even though sometimes crap comes out
- You and you alone are responsible for where your life is, maybe also a little luck
- Value your friends, cherish them, appreciate them
- Listen, think, process, talk. In that order
- Do what YOU want
- Don't let annoying people get to you. Be nice even to them
- Don't take life too seriously
Note: Just because I have realized these things over a period does not necessarily mean I actually follow them. I'm trying. Getting there.
8 Places I Would Love to Go or See or Visit:
- Europe
- Egypt
- Malaysia
- Africa
- Florida
- Australia
- Entire India - New Delhi, Rajasthan, North-East, Lakshadweep everything.
I guess that kinda covered the entire globe.. :)
8 Things I Currently Need or Want:
- To get over with my internship asap
- To pee
- Cute brown peep-toe flats
- Haircut
- Silky hair too, if possible :)
- Manicure & Pedicure
- A nice book to read
- Ideas for gifts for my parents..anyone?
And this folks was the one of the many tags I have got lined up in the pipeline! Avanti tagged me for this one. More to follow, where I am tagged again by her & Rani.. :)
I had so much fun doing this tag. I also realized - sometimes 8 is too big a number, and other times too small. Also that I am quite materialistic, more than I realize :D (All the best M, huh?). Anyhoo...like I mentioned, I am going to meet M's parents soon. And you'll know soon why it is such a BAD idea. But, like a wise friend said to me yesterday - "these things have to be done". Though he said it in context of cutting vegetables & cooking them. I am guessing, the context is a LOT different..eh..never mind. So anyway, more on that later.
First....first first first first...I've got to tag someone...mu hu ha ha ha ha ha...
Here goes -
Rani
Rambler
Pari
Saurabh
Mansi
And anyone else who wants to take this up!! Off I go to finish number 2 in the last "eight".
Later guys!
- Sex & the City
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S
- The Big Bang Theory
- That 70's Show
- Full House
- Dekh Bhai Dekh
- KBC
- Any show that is showing latest movies' promos
ps: The reason why most/all of these shows are old is none of my homes since 2000 have had a TV/Cable(First hostel and then student apartment in US)
8 Favorite Places to Eat:
- Home
- Come-in, Pune
- Durga, Pune
- McDonalds
- Quiznos
- The Kebab Factory
- Moby Dick's House of Kabob
- M-cooked prawns & chicken
8 Things That Happened Yesterday:
- Came to know about some job opportunities
- Tried to work at getting them
- Bought Oakley's glares for bro
- Ogled at ALDO shoes while at the mall
- Watched "Sach ka Samna" for the first time
- Laughed too hard at a joke that I cracked
- Laughed too hard at a joke that M cracked
- Laughed too much basically, and loved it
8 Things I Look Forward To:
- Watching what happens next in "Sach ka Samna"
- Getting a full time position of my interest
- Meeting my family soon
- Meeting M's family soon(more on this later!!)
- Living & sharing an apartment with M(the reason why marriage ceremony is not on my list is cos I find it a big taxing thing that can be avoided, but can't be!)
- Graduating
- Joining a mentoring program
- Reading a good Agatha Christie book
8 Things I Love About Winter:
(this one's gonna be the toughest, I am thinking of cheating)
- It's not blazing hot
- First day of Snow
- Gloves
- The way I can see my breath
- The warm feeling of entering an enclosed centrally heated place
- Making footprints in the snow
- Closed school due to snowstorm
- I hate too much cold.Third point is a lie.
8 Things on my Wish List:
- Fossil Watch - this, this & this (if anyone's taking notes)
- Pearl-drop earrings
- All seasons of SATC
- Aldo Shoes
- NY&C Clutch & Tote
- Abercrombie Vintage outerwear
- Figure to wear Herve Leger Dress, and then one dress too please!
- Good health & happiness for my entire family, friends & M.
8 Things I’m Passionate About:
- Reading
- Writing
- Traveling
- Watching movies(only in theaters)
- Did I mention Reading
- Community work
- Shopping
- Shoes, Clothes & Handbags
8 Words or Phrases I Use Often:
- Fuck
- Oh man!
- Fucking shit
- LOL
- Shit
- WTF
- Really?
- Frigging
8 Things I Have Learned From My Past:
- Being emotional gets you nowhere
- Speak up, that's the only way to go, even though sometimes crap comes out
- You and you alone are responsible for where your life is, maybe also a little luck
- Value your friends, cherish them, appreciate them
- Listen, think, process, talk. In that order
- Do what YOU want
- Don't let annoying people get to you. Be nice even to them
- Don't take life too seriously
Note: Just because I have realized these things over a period does not necessarily mean I actually follow them. I'm trying. Getting there.
8 Places I Would Love to Go or See or Visit:
- Europe
- Egypt
- Malaysia
- Africa
- Florida
- Australia
- Entire India - New Delhi, Rajasthan, North-East, Lakshadweep everything.
I guess that kinda covered the entire globe.. :)
8 Things I Currently Need or Want:
- To get over with my internship asap
- To pee
- Cute brown peep-toe flats
- Haircut
- Silky hair too, if possible :)
- Manicure & Pedicure
- A nice book to read
- Ideas for gifts for my parents..anyone?
And this folks was the one of the many tags I have got lined up in the pipeline! Avanti tagged me for this one. More to follow, where I am tagged again by her & Rani.. :)
I had so much fun doing this tag. I also realized - sometimes 8 is too big a number, and other times too small. Also that I am quite materialistic, more than I realize :D (All the best M, huh?). Anyhoo...like I mentioned, I am going to meet M's parents soon. And you'll know soon why it is such a BAD idea. But, like a wise friend said to me yesterday - "these things have to be done". Though he said it in context of cutting vegetables & cooking them. I am guessing, the context is a LOT different..eh..never mind. So anyway, more on that later.
First....first first first first...I've got to tag someone...mu hu ha ha ha ha ha...
Here goes -
Rani
Rambler
Pari
Saurabh
Mansi
And anyone else who wants to take this up!! Off I go to finish number 2 in the last "eight".
Later guys!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Someone wrote "placebos"
I don't even know what that means. And I don't even want to find out. I mean it really does sound like - amoeba or something.
Anyway...this morning suddenly my frustration lifted, while I was reading this. No not the review, the actual book. I was reading the actual book. And I thought, if that kid survived what he was going through, surely my situation can only help me become stronger and more resistant in life. And probably teach me to not let people get to me.
So many things come to my mind that I could write about which slip away before I can find time enough to even make a note in my head. These last few weeks of summer - when it actually feels like summer - keep slipping right out of my hand, except for a few moments like - my scream stuck in my throat when I sat in scream. Or like - after a long day of continuous working - how a friend telling me that she was putting on body wash instead of body lotion for a week, made me laugh like a mad woman. Laughter does help de-stress btw!
Obviously, by now you must have realized there's no real point to this post. And if you are not going to read, I am not going to write any further. I do have self-respect you know!!
Later dude!
Anyway...this morning suddenly my frustration lifted, while I was reading this. No not the review, the actual book. I was reading the actual book. And I thought, if that kid survived what he was going through, surely my situation can only help me become stronger and more resistant in life. And probably teach me to not let people get to me.
So many things come to my mind that I could write about which slip away before I can find time enough to even make a note in my head. These last few weeks of summer - when it actually feels like summer - keep slipping right out of my hand, except for a few moments like - my scream stuck in my throat when I sat in scream. Or like - after a long day of continuous working - how a friend telling me that she was putting on body wash instead of body lotion for a week, made me laugh like a mad woman. Laughter does help de-stress btw!
Obviously, by now you must have realized there's no real point to this post. And if you are not going to read, I am not going to write any further. I do have self-respect you know!!
Later dude!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I am just so mad!
That I am not even feeling guilty about sitting in front of someone,wishing bad things for them while they were speaking to me!!
I know. It's not right. I am a bad person. Okay, I'll take back whatever I wished, but if you were in my place you would do the same. People can be so f**king unreasonable and unfair, that you can't believe they are human and not just some animal. Frigging B*****d!!!!
On a much much different and happier note Avanti has tagged me for two tags :)
I will do them as soon as I get some time, which I am really falling short of right now thanks to certain f**king someone!!
Later!
I know. It's not right. I am a bad person. Okay, I'll take back whatever I wished, but if you were in my place you would do the same. People can be so f**king unreasonable and unfair, that you can't believe they are human and not just some animal. Frigging B*****d!!!!
On a much much different and happier note Avanti has tagged me for two tags :)
I will do them as soon as I get some time, which I am really falling short of right now thanks to certain f**king someone!!
Later!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Diet, Distraction & Distance
On my mind, but not in that order.
So, yea I know all of you are going to say, I don't need a diet. And well, yea looking at me I probably don't. But I really really need to lose some lbs, for my health, as PCOD and Spondylolisthesis become worse if I am even a little overweight, which they now have. Also, a friend was doing this, so I just decided to do it with her, so that I have someone to crib to(apart from M, someone who gets it) while I am at it. Now you ask me, why not some exercise instead, and I would say yes I want to do that too, just that I don't get around to doing it everyday, and this is getting kinda urgent!And so, the mighty have fallen to desperate measures of eating only fruits and vegetables and soups for a week!
Over the weekend, S moved to another city to look for jobs. God alone knows how I am going to manage without her. She defines whatever I know of this city man. We discovered and delighted in its wonders together. She helped me become the person that I am today, that I love to be(though she won't agree!). Together we laughed at the nothing and yet the something in all the nothingness. Actually, I don't have words to describe this loss. After I came back from dropping her, and after she had reached, it hit me while sleeping, I can never just meet her in the middle of the night again. Not that I have ever done that, but it was always comforting to know, I could. I had decided to write so much down...but now I cant bring myself to...I think it's too private, so much that even she does not know about all these thoughts...nobody does.
I also believe, that this diet is giving me an aim, something to focus on so that I don't think so much. Cos, there's nothing much I can do. So these days it's all about finding distractions from things on my mind - missing my family, missing S, trying to come to terms with so many little changes that only I can see....!Changes that cannot be expressed in words...or maybe they can be..but not just yet.....
Later!
So, yea I know all of you are going to say, I don't need a diet. And well, yea looking at me I probably don't. But I really really need to lose some lbs, for my health, as PCOD and Spondylolisthesis become worse if I am even a little overweight, which they now have. Also, a friend was doing this, so I just decided to do it with her, so that I have someone to crib to(apart from M, someone who gets it) while I am at it. Now you ask me, why not some exercise instead, and I would say yes I want to do that too, just that I don't get around to doing it everyday, and this is getting kinda urgent!And so, the mighty have fallen to desperate measures of eating only fruits and vegetables and soups for a week!
Over the weekend, S moved to another city to look for jobs. God alone knows how I am going to manage without her. She defines whatever I know of this city man. We discovered and delighted in its wonders together. She helped me become the person that I am today, that I love to be(though she won't agree!). Together we laughed at the nothing and yet the something in all the nothingness. Actually, I don't have words to describe this loss. After I came back from dropping her, and after she had reached, it hit me while sleeping, I can never just meet her in the middle of the night again. Not that I have ever done that, but it was always comforting to know, I could. I had decided to write so much down...but now I cant bring myself to...I think it's too private, so much that even she does not know about all these thoughts...nobody does.
I also believe, that this diet is giving me an aim, something to focus on so that I don't think so much. Cos, there's nothing much I can do. So these days it's all about finding distractions from things on my mind - missing my family, missing S, trying to come to terms with so many little changes that only I can see....!Changes that cannot be expressed in words...or maybe they can be..but not just yet.....
Later!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
It's surprisingly accurate!
Though I haven't watched the movie....the short description sounds quite correct.....
Monday, July 06, 2009
Beyond space and time...
Dear Aaji,
When Aai told me on Thursday night, that you had passed away, I could not digest it. I knew it was coming, and yet it was hard to believe at first. But it sunk in, and I found myself short of breath. I did not know whether I was going to cry. But I did. As much as I had prayed for your suffering to end, despite feeling guilty for it, for so long, I was grieving for a void, that now nobody can ever fill. I was bitter for the fact that, I am now, officially without grandparents. And I was distressed that it has been more than a year since I saw you or spoke to you. The last time when I saw you, you were already losing your memory day by day. You had asked me again and again, about my life in US, how I live here, and I had repeated everything to you again and again. You were weaker and older than any other time that I remembered, and I was filled with sadness, to see you like that. I regretted then bringing you one gift from US, that you could no longer use - a book. You used to love reading, not just Hindi and Marathi, but also, English. I was awed by this, since even Aai declines to read English books if she can help it. But then, you could no longer retain information in your mind for more than a few minutes, to read an entire book. But you appreciated it just the same, looking at me lovingly. My heart breaks to think that I will never ever be bestowed with a love, that only grandparents are capable of, that I will never see you looking at me lovingly and with pride, asking me about my life, my studies.
I remember, Aai complaining proudly, that I am your favorite grandchild and hence she cannot scold me in front of you without making you angry as well. I took advantage of it so many times, getting away with things, that nobody else did. I remember when I was leaving for US, you instructed me to not marry an American. I could see you were worried beyond belief, wondering why I was going at all. I remember you telling me to be guarded and alert, to not roam around alone and to study and finish masters sincerely.
I should have seen this coming, and I think at some level I did too, when I got the news of you being admitted in hospital some weeks back. And I kept praying to God to end your pain, and I kept feeling guilty for it. Now that you are gone, I see my prayers were answered. But I don't feel guilty anymore, now that I know your pain is over finally. And don't you worry Aaji, I will be fine. I will always remember you. I will always look at your struggle in life, when I am struggling. I will always remember your patience and giving nature when I am short of them. I will survive, cos I am your granddaughter and you were a survivor.
When I heard of your departure, I cried bitterly. I regretted not having been in India. For the first time I felt more lonely than ever. And I wanted to hide my face in Aai's lap and bawl. Instead, I cried in my pillow, till I fell asleep. When I called the next day, your body had departed too, with all the rituals complete. I felt some peace to know that. And I felt immense pride when Aai told me that you donated your eyes. Looking at you it's hard to believe someone can be that giving. I never told you this - but I am proud to have had you as my grandma. I say "have had" cos I don't want to stop you from the next journey that you have now undertaken(like Baba says), or want you to hesitate. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I am sad that you are now gone, but I am happy that you did not suffer much. I will miss you. Always. And I wish I could be more like you - patient, giving and a fighter to the end.
Love,
Me
P.S.: I will always miss the lonacha that you helped Aai prepare every summer, and which never tastes the same if you are not a part of it.
When Aai told me on Thursday night, that you had passed away, I could not digest it. I knew it was coming, and yet it was hard to believe at first. But it sunk in, and I found myself short of breath. I did not know whether I was going to cry. But I did. As much as I had prayed for your suffering to end, despite feeling guilty for it, for so long, I was grieving for a void, that now nobody can ever fill. I was bitter for the fact that, I am now, officially without grandparents. And I was distressed that it has been more than a year since I saw you or spoke to you. The last time when I saw you, you were already losing your memory day by day. You had asked me again and again, about my life in US, how I live here, and I had repeated everything to you again and again. You were weaker and older than any other time that I remembered, and I was filled with sadness, to see you like that. I regretted then bringing you one gift from US, that you could no longer use - a book. You used to love reading, not just Hindi and Marathi, but also, English. I was awed by this, since even Aai declines to read English books if she can help it. But then, you could no longer retain information in your mind for more than a few minutes, to read an entire book. But you appreciated it just the same, looking at me lovingly. My heart breaks to think that I will never ever be bestowed with a love, that only grandparents are capable of, that I will never see you looking at me lovingly and with pride, asking me about my life, my studies.
I remember, Aai complaining proudly, that I am your favorite grandchild and hence she cannot scold me in front of you without making you angry as well. I took advantage of it so many times, getting away with things, that nobody else did. I remember when I was leaving for US, you instructed me to not marry an American. I could see you were worried beyond belief, wondering why I was going at all. I remember you telling me to be guarded and alert, to not roam around alone and to study and finish masters sincerely.
I should have seen this coming, and I think at some level I did too, when I got the news of you being admitted in hospital some weeks back. And I kept praying to God to end your pain, and I kept feeling guilty for it. Now that you are gone, I see my prayers were answered. But I don't feel guilty anymore, now that I know your pain is over finally. And don't you worry Aaji, I will be fine. I will always remember you. I will always look at your struggle in life, when I am struggling. I will always remember your patience and giving nature when I am short of them. I will survive, cos I am your granddaughter and you were a survivor.
When I heard of your departure, I cried bitterly. I regretted not having been in India. For the first time I felt more lonely than ever. And I wanted to hide my face in Aai's lap and bawl. Instead, I cried in my pillow, till I fell asleep. When I called the next day, your body had departed too, with all the rituals complete. I felt some peace to know that. And I felt immense pride when Aai told me that you donated your eyes. Looking at you it's hard to believe someone can be that giving. I never told you this - but I am proud to have had you as my grandma. I say "have had" cos I don't want to stop you from the next journey that you have now undertaken(like Baba says), or want you to hesitate. Don't worry about me, I will be fine. I am sad that you are now gone, but I am happy that you did not suffer much. I will miss you. Always. And I wish I could be more like you - patient, giving and a fighter to the end.
Love,
Me
P.S.: I will always miss the lonacha that you helped Aai prepare every summer, and which never tastes the same if you are not a part of it.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I tagged myself!
Since nobody was tagging me...like ever(!!) I decided to take initiative and do it myself. I found this here.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Hope my sun allergy does not increase.."
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
5$
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Soar
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My roommate - J...and I had not even seen it till now...thanks to this I just saw it :P
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I haven't used ring tones since like forever now...but I used to love - "Saathiya" :)
6. What are you wearing right now?
Floral purple and orange chiffon sleeveless top and black trousers, with black thin sweater and black ballerina shoes.
7. Do you label yourself?
Yes. Many times. With many labels.
8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
I own many(shoes, that is). Some are not branded, some are brands I don't recall(but bought them from DSW), and sports shoes are Reebok, bought them 2 years back.
9.Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. Always. Can't stand darkness. I sometimes like switching the lights on even in a car while traveling at night.
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Found this randomly....while stumbling from blog to blog...but his posts are nice, and I am sure so is he :)
11. What does your watch look like?
A Guess Silver watch with black dial, M gifted me this on my Birthday.
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I am pretty sure dreaming things, which I can't remember now! :P
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
A msg from M intimating that he loves me...and asking me why I am so amazing :P
14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
"F**k"
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
M (if boyfriends are not excluded) :)
16. Last furry thing you touched?
My piglet soft toy.
17. Favorite age you have been so far?
There have been many - but I think 17-18, when I was in junior college, without liabilities, worries and having a ball with friends every frigging day!!
18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Sure." (to a colleague)
19.The last song you listened to?
Right Round - Flo Rida
20. Where did you live in 1987?
Rajgarh (M.P.) [I think..]
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Umm....not really..... :)
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Maybe...I really don't know...
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Mobile phone, Wallet/cards, my forgetful self :P
24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Bangalore, New York City, Boston. In that order.
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I think my friend "Shruti"(yea thats her name too) in engineering.
26. Can you change the oil in a car?
Hell. No.
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
First big crush as in school. Last I heard from him, we were chatting non-sense shit online, and he was working in some company in Bombay.
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My lower back, cos of Spondylolisthesis :(
29.What is your current desktop picture?
Office PC - Blue color.
Personal Laptop - Beautiful black wallpaper with funky art image and music written on it.
30. Have you been burnt by love?
Yep. With my ex. I've never told this to anyone but I used to cry for no reason at all, and be depressed most of the time, when I was with him.
Its the worst. Hope I never be there again. Hope nobody is.
And I tag -
M, Saurabh, Mansi, Guy Next Door, Sai and Pari.
Edited to add: Tagging Chintan & Shamika too. Hopefully this will make them blog! :P
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"Hope my sun allergy does not increase.."
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
5$
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Soar
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My roommate - J...and I had not even seen it till now...thanks to this I just saw it :P
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
I haven't used ring tones since like forever now...but I used to love - "Saathiya" :)
6. What are you wearing right now?
Floral purple and orange chiffon sleeveless top and black trousers, with black thin sweater and black ballerina shoes.
7. Do you label yourself?
Yes. Many times. With many labels.
8. Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
I own many(shoes, that is). Some are not branded, some are brands I don't recall(but bought them from DSW), and sports shoes are Reebok, bought them 2 years back.
9.Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. Always. Can't stand darkness. I sometimes like switching the lights on even in a car while traveling at night.
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Found this randomly....while stumbling from blog to blog...but his posts are nice, and I am sure so is he :)
11. What does your watch look like?
A Guess Silver watch with black dial, M gifted me this on my Birthday.
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I am pretty sure dreaming things, which I can't remember now! :P
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
A msg from M intimating that he loves me...and asking me why I am so amazing :P
14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
"F**k"
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
M (if boyfriends are not excluded) :)
16. Last furry thing you touched?
My piglet soft toy.
17. Favorite age you have been so far?
There have been many - but I think 17-18, when I was in junior college, without liabilities, worries and having a ball with friends every frigging day!!
18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Sure." (to a colleague)
19.The last song you listened to?
Right Round - Flo Rida
20. Where did you live in 1987?
Rajgarh (M.P.) [I think..]
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Umm....not really..... :)
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Maybe...I really don't know...
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Mobile phone, Wallet/cards, my forgetful self :P
24. What’s your favorite town/city?
Bangalore, New York City, Boston. In that order.
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I think my friend "Shruti"(yea thats her name too) in engineering.
26. Can you change the oil in a car?
Hell. No.
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
First big crush as in school. Last I heard from him, we were chatting non-sense shit online, and he was working in some company in Bombay.
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
My lower back, cos of Spondylolisthesis :(
29.What is your current desktop picture?
Office PC - Blue color.
Personal Laptop - Beautiful black wallpaper with funky art image and music written on it.
30. Have you been burnt by love?
Yep. With my ex. I've never told this to anyone but I used to cry for no reason at all, and be depressed most of the time, when I was with him.
Its the worst. Hope I never be there again. Hope nobody is.
And I tag -
M, Saurabh, Mansi, Guy Next Door, Sai and Pari.
Edited to add: Tagging Chintan & Shamika too. Hopefully this will make them blog! :P
Friday, June 26, 2009
There's something about....
So, I am sure, the area where I work...there's a serious derth of women. Otherwise how the hell do explain, another guy asking me out in the week following this. Right in the middle of the road no less. If anything, this was more dramatic, but this time I was less brutal (acc to me anyway). And trust me, I am not showing off. I waited, I waited and I waited for people to ask me out for so many years....and now.This. Maybe I am US-material, considering both the guys who asked me out this year(yea, there was one last year too:P) were Americans. :)
In any case, it does make you feel real good! I mean, some guy walking on the road calls out to you from behind, and then struggles to get his words together for at least five minutes before admitting he wants to take you out for coffee. I concluded some happy things about myself from this -
1. I look good from behind(too)!! :P
2. I appear intimidating.
Okay now I gotta rush to work...
Later!
In any case, it does make you feel real good! I mean, some guy walking on the road calls out to you from behind, and then struggles to get his words together for at least five minutes before admitting he wants to take you out for coffee. I concluded some happy things about myself from this -
1. I look good from behind(too)!! :P
2. I appear intimidating.
Okay now I gotta rush to work...
Later!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The other end of the spectrum..
Remember what I had posted a few days back about relationships & how to make one work...
Well, yesterday I saw the other end of the spectrum...aka...M :)
It went something like this -
M - I read on your blog, that you are sad since your conversation with S...What's wrong...?
Me - Nothing, just that we had a sad conversation...
M - About what?
Me - Just the world..and what a bad state it is in...and how people are so difficult to deal with....and how they can be so irrational at times....and about love and relationships...and how just love is not enough to hold a relationship together...
M - Yea...that's true....you also need lust....
LOL!
How can you not laugh at this? Obviously which is what he aimed to do with his statement anyway...! It's too funny.... :)
PS: S is my very very close friend & roommate....
Later!
Well, yesterday I saw the other end of the spectrum...aka...M :)
It went something like this -
M - I read on your blog, that you are sad since your conversation with S...What's wrong...?
Me - Nothing, just that we had a sad conversation...
M - About what?
Me - Just the world..and what a bad state it is in...and how people are so difficult to deal with....and how they can be so irrational at times....and about love and relationships...and how just love is not enough to hold a relationship together...
M - Yea...that's true....you also need lust....
LOL!
How can you not laugh at this? Obviously which is what he aimed to do with his statement anyway...! It's too funny.... :)
PS: S is my very very close friend & roommate....
Later!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
