It's decided!

Yes! It's decided! I finally have zeroed in on where I'm going for my honeymoon! No, my marriage isn't fixed guys....!! In fact its no where even close...(whatever...) There's another reason. I love to travel. And see beautiful landscapes, mountains, etc. And today I got these in my mail -




How in the world can anyone not fall in love with a place like this. And to share it with the most beloved one.....aaah soooo romantic!
Hence....its decided!

Sayonara!

I changed my mind...

Some days back I wrote this. But I have changed my mind now. I judged people whom I had met that day, not on that day of course(that's why I wrote that, I'm not as crazy as you think I am); but after more interactions with them. Unfortunately, my experience did not turn out that great. And let me tell you this -

• It's not easy to be nice to people who have been not nice to you before.
• Its very difficult not to get nasty thoughts like - Why should I help him now? He didn't help me when I needed him to!!
  
• Even if you don't act maliciously, and do help them after all, you cant help thinking - now you've come to me!! NOW...you need me.
• And lastly you end up feeling guilty about thinking all such stuff!

So anyways...what I think now is, there is hardly any other way but not to judge people. I think we humans wouldn't be us (you know the whole crap about us being the finer species with acute brain power n blah blah blah) without the judging bit inside us.

So I think we can be okay about it not feel guilty about it :)
Atleast that's what I will follow...because I have also learnt that it is this very trait that leads you to form the best of relations with those whom you judged wrong first. :)

Sayonara!

Ghosts from the past still haunt me sometimes!

Has it ever happened to you, that there was something/somebody that you felt very strongly about in the past, and suddenly something/somebody else comes up, who reminds you of them so very badly, that all the feelings come rushing back and almost torment you?!

This happened to me very recently. I spoke to somebody concerning some work, and his voice was so much alike to certain somebody in my past, that I have to control myself from blurting out anything stupid! After I start talking to him, I have to make conscious efforts to remember that he's not the one he sounds like! And after I've hung up, I feel so so sad, remembering my past....

Has this ever happened to you?

Whacky stuff

A dull rainy day. A slow lunch in company. Does this:

When a man falls from first floor, he goes-
Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

When a man fall from eighth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!!
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And then finally
When a man fall from fourth floor, he goes-
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Thump!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! :)

And this:
Sensation of tension = Tensation :P



Later!

Hollywood v/s Bollywood

I think people who know me, would vouch for the fact that I absolutely love everything Indian. And I can give any (and believe me when I say "ANY") arguments to prove how India is better, or is improving at things. And I hate people who think foreign countries are better than India. Maybe they are in some respects, but they also NOT in many others!

Anyways, so at lunch today, me & my friends got into discussion about movies made in Hollywood & Bollywood. I recently saw Pirates of the Caribbean. It was a strictly-OK movie. And then there is our very own Shivaji-The Boss, released just a few days back which is a hot topic of discussion for people who make fun of...umm...'such' things. So I haven't seen it, but I'm sure it has all the all-too-famous "tricks & antics" of Rajnikanth. And while I too think it's funny, I hate it when people start comparing it(or any Bollywood movie for that matter) to Hollywood movies. I mean Johnny Depp has his own style, and many people like him. But the same goes for Rajnikanth, and many people DO like him too! I may not be one of his die-hard fans, but I feel that if people like what he does, and if thats his style, well I'm not the one who'll compare it with Hollywood and mock it. (You get it - the point is, I'm attacking Hollywood comparison & people who think its better than Bollywood. this is one of those "any" arguments) :)

Anyways, so our discussion proceeded further where I went on to point out that, people often critisize that Bollywood movies forget laws of Physics, gravity etc while putting in effects, but do they notice that Hollywood movies have long forgotten not only the laws of Physics (e.g. Matrix) but also of Chemistry(e.g. Terminator) and Biology(e.g. Jurrasic Park). Then why do we appreciate that and laugh at our own movies?

Another thing that I came up with (I'm very enthusiastic in debates about India, movies etc) -
Terminator has the villian whaterer-his name-was, who liquifies any time he wants, solidifies any time he wants, and takes any human form that he has touched. If anybody was as lousy as I was in my 6th - 7th standard, they must've seen many movies that followed the concept of Icchadhari naag(Takes-the form-it-wants snake [couldn't come up with anything better]). These reptiles were intelligent human-snakes, that could take a form, any form according to their wish, they only had to see the person once. Now doesn't the Terminator concept look like an absolute rip-off of this concept. And I can swear on my life, these snake movies came way before it. Even if it wasn't copied from here, well there you go, if you appreciated & were awed by the fiction & concept that they showed in Terminator, India was already in the been-there-done-that stage!Hah!

So there....!!
I've proved my point!India & bollywood is no less(in fact its more!), and as to giving an answer to the "original" concepts in hollywood movies, we've already done that baby! (YAWWWN) (GRIN)

Sayonara! :)

Cheeni kum - Some fundas from the flick

The "Happy-sad/Sad-sad" funda:
Why are you sad-sad? You should be happy-sad.
Why are you sad?
Because somebody hurt you.
Who can hurt you?
Somebody who is close to the heart.
Who is close to the heart?
Somebody with whom we are happy.

So we were happy thats why we are sad na...
So be happy-sad...not sad-sad!


The "If you cry, you'll empty your heart of love for that person" funda:
Don't cry dear....
You love her a lot...Don't empty your heart of her love by crying...
Why do you cry?
Because your heart is heavy.
Why is your heart heavy?
Beacause it is filled with love.
What happens when you cry?
Your heart feels lighter.
Why does it feel lighter?
Because you empty the love in your heart through tears.

That's why you shouldn't cry for somebody who's gone....

The "Reason why men & women marry" funda:
Should we get married?
Why?
Because Marriage is the price men pay for sex, and sex is the price women pay for marriage. So after learning this deep philosophy of marriage from me, will you marry me?
Yes.

My views:
I like the first one best...the other two I don't really agree with..but whatever :)
Very entertaining movie. Must watch to relax, and enjoy some great satirical comedy from some brilliant actors.

Sayonara!

Is it just me?

A friend (say S1) came to stay at my place yesterday night and we were cooking dinner. We started discussing about food and how different people cook in different ways(I know pretty lame but what else would we do while cooking....)

Now, to give a little background-her marriage is fixed & she was telling me about the kind of food they prepare at her in-law's place. The following conversation took place. It is in marathi(translation provided) -

S1:
Arre tyachi(her fiance) aai, majhya aai sarakhach jevan banavate...fakt thodya bhajya veglya karte.....ti vangyat danyacha kut taakte.....etc..

(His(her fiance) mom, cooks food the same style my mom does...except for some vegetables that she cooks differently.....she puts groundnut powder in eggplant.....etc..)

Me:
uuhhh...uuhhh
(Nodding along)

S1:
mala tevadha fakt shikava lagel...
(I'll just have to learn those things that she cooks differently)

Me:
changala aahe na mag!
(that's really good then!)

Me(thinking inside):
Shit!shit!shit! She is soo ready to get married! She's jus an year older to me. Look at me, I cannot even imagine eating something that tastes & is cooked differently from what my mom makes. It freaks me out to even think that I have to learn stuff formally from a Saas (mother-in-law) and cook like her. (I was pretty much freaked out even then!)

It suffocates me to think I have to go live wth a new family and call them my family...follow their rules & regulations...behave like an adult, mature person...know stuff about running kitchen & house...be ready to hear things from in-laws patiently...not be a rebel that I've always been and probably always will be...

OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!!!!!!!!

Relax Shruti.....breath in-breath out, breath in -breath out, breath in-breath out....
phhheeewwww!

I think I might have died just now due to suffocation....but I'm okay now!Anways...so in the end I'm thinking, is it just me who freaks out like this?Is there no one else?!!

What personality are you??

Saw this on a Website....rather stumbled upon it(I know i know..I'm using it wa-aay too much to post stuff....but can I help it if I stumble upon such good stuff and wanna share) :)

Read on...and yes...Don't forget to comment!If you don't, this time that may lead to serious threat to your life ;)
Just kidding!But yeah...would love to know what you are... :)

Psychological ("personality") Types

According to Jung's theory of Psychological Types we are all different in fundamental ways. One's ability to process different information is limited by their particular type. These types are sixteen.

People can be :
Extroverts or Introverts, depending on the direction of their activity;
Thinking, Feeling, Sensing, Intuitive, according to their own information pathways;
Judging or Perceiving, depending on the method in which they process received information.

Extroverts vs. Introverts

Extroverts are directed towards the objective world whereas Introverts are directed towards the subjective world. The most common differences between Extroverts and Introverts are shown below:

Extroverts are interested in what is happening around them are open and often talkative compare their own opinions with the opinions of others like action and initiative easily make new friends or adapt to a new group say what they think are interested in new people easily break unwanted relations

Introverts are interested in their own thoughts and feelings need to have own territory often appear reserved, quiet and thoughtful usually do not have many friends have difficulties in making new contacts like concentration and quiet do not like unexpected visits and therefore do not make them work well alone

Sensing vs. Intuition

Sensing is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its physical qualities and its affection by other information. Intuition is an ability to deal with the information on the basis of its hidden potential and its possible existence. The most common differences between Sensing and Intuitive types are shown below:

Sensing types see everyone and sense everything live in the here and now quickly adapt to any situation like pleasures based on physical sensation are practical and active are realistic and self-confident

Intuitive types are mostly in the past or in the future worry about the future more than the present are interested in everything new and unusual do not like routine are attracted more to the theory than the practice often have doubts

Thinking vs. Feeling

Thinking is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its structure and its function. Feeling is an ability to deal with information on the basis of its initial energetic condition and its interactions. The most common differences between Thinking and Feeling type are shown below:

Thinking types are interested in systems, structures, patterns expose everything to logical analysis are relatively cold and unemotional evaluate things by intellect and right or wrong have difficulties talking about feelings do not like to clear up arguments or quarrels

Feeling types are interested in people and their feelings easily pass their own moods to others pay great attention to love and passion evaluate things by ethics and good or bad can be touchy or use emotional manipulation often give compliments to please people

Perceiving vs. Judging

Perceiving types are motivated into activity by the changes in a situation. Judging types are motivated into activity by their decisions resulting from the changes in a situation. The most common differences between Perceiving and Judging types are shown below:

Perceiving types act impulsively following the situation can start many things at once without finishing them properly prefer to have freedom from obligations are curious and like a fresh look at things work productivity depends on their mood often act without any preparation

Judging types do not like to leave unanswered questions plan work ahead and tend to finish it do not like to change their decisions have relatively stable workability easily follow rules and discipline

These four opposite pairs of preferences define eight different ways of dealing with information, which in turn result in sixteen Psychological Types:

ENTp, ISFp, ESFj, INTj, ENFj, ISTj, ESTp, INFp, ESFp, INTp, ENTj, ISFj, ESTj, INFj, ENFp and ISTp,
where E - Extrovert, I - Introvert, S - Sensing, N - Intuitive, T - Thinking, F - Feeling, j - Judging, p - Perceiving.
So, ENTp for example would be Extrovert, Intuitive, Thinking and Perceiving type.


BTW I am - ESFp :) (Extrovert, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving)
This of course is my opinion!!
and about all this you can more information here.

Waiting for your comments!!

Adios!!

To my Best Friend

Dear S,

You're one of a kind, different from others,
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers,
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game,
But not just another, in the long chain,

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold,
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old,
You'll always be there, I know that is true,
I'll always be here, always for you.

-Me

Disclaimer: I have not written this myself, but hey finding such nice stuff is difficult too :)

And then there were none...

I had a presentation today. I worked my ass off for it in the past two weeks. Worked even on saturdays(!!!!)[for those unaware, working on weekend is considered a big, even magnanimous sacrifice]. I am not even gonna go into how it went. Lets just suffice to say that, I have slept in others' presentations and now I know how they must have felt. :)

And right now, although I have things to do, I am suddenly feeling very empty. I am relaxed yet the tension of the presentation hasn't worn off completely. Its a weird feeling. I was longing to write a post and now that I am doing it its not that satisfactory.......naaaay....who am I kidding...I am so happy to be finally writing here :D

But yeah, the feeling weird part still stands. As I'm still worried/tensed/scared about something, even though there isn't much I should be worried about!

Anyways...just for the record, this is my first ever presentation where the audience did not really grasp what I was saying! Vaise I do pretty good job of it. Today it was - a very complicated concept(which took me 2 months to understand myself btw) + after lunch session that put everybody off to sleep. I think lesser doses or atleast doses in installments will be better next time :)

Boy....I didn't expect myself to be so positive about this! This is a surprise!!(And I like it) :)

Adios!

For my mom...

This is something that I am posting on an impulse....
And this I think represents only a very very very small fraction of what my mom is to me and how much I love her!

Warning: Comment anything even remotely funny/teasing for this post and you will face some serious hazard to your life!

Today...

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles...
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...
An unexpected phone call from an old friend...
Green traffic lights on your way to work...
The fastest line at the grocery store...
A good sing-along song on the radio...
And your keys right where you left them...

Today...
I wish you a day of ordinary miracles....

3 reasons

There are 3 reasons for this post. Oh btw, before I mention them, you can stop reading right here as they are all as useless as this post itself(actually I'd prefer you reading till the end since I am taking a lot of trouble writing this...I just wanted to use that line once ;>). Okay so I think you would like to know the reasons now? Really??!! That interested in others' , even though she has warned you already about it being mundane and useless?!! Wow...I would say I'm flattered, to make you happy, but I'm not!And I generally don't lie unless its a matter of life & death (read matters which profit me!). And obviously this is not that.

But it's not that I never lie....sometimes I do lie, but this I am sure is not one of those times. I mean yeah everybody lies, and that's really no crime as such, but it's wrong! And I avoid it as much as I can. Don't you too? I'm sure you do!I mean I'm sure you do lot of other wrong things too, but frankly speaking I am not interested in knowing! And of course I am not going to talk about wrong things that I do. This is my blog and I should be praising myself here, I have every right to! But as I am very very modest, I will refrain from doing that. (I can almost hear that sigh of relief :| )

So anyways, since you have read till here (Gawd..!), I might as well tell you the reasons for this post. I think you have earned it :)
So here goes -
1. I have nothing to write about.
2. But I want to write something.
3. I'm waiting for the Remote Desktop connection to finish log-in so that I can start work :)

And since now it has set-up the connection(Damn!)I will have to get back to work(boo-hoo-hoo).

Sayonara!!

Who is your true friend?

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked...
:)

Alvida...

Jinke darmiyaan gujri thi abhi kal tak yeh meri zindagi,
Lo un bahon ko, thandi chaon ko,
hum bhi kar chale alvida..

alvida...alvida meri raahein alvida....
...meri saansein kehti hai alvida...

Hostel Account: Part 1

Living in a hostel for past 5 years, I myself find it quite strange that I have never really posted anything about my hostel. But come to think of it, I'm sure I can never put down in words the magic of my hostel days. I am not saying it was perfect like a fairy tale...living in a hostel had its own pitfalls, and some which can never really be apparent on the surface! But just recently I realised that what happened then, helped me a great deal in handling a particular incident now. I now know, had it not been for the experience of my hostel, I would have reacted in a completely different manner.

Anyways, I drifted away from my point. Today, I am venturing to write about a part of hostel, and a very important one - roommates. We were 3 of us in one room. Let me just take a moment here to state that if I were to go back in time and choose roommates again, I would still choose the same roommates again, knowing all the downfalls that are to come...but also knowing, that they were and still are so very precious to me! Not just because they form almost half of my memories of hostel, but also that they were the most honest & genuine friends, who were there for me when I needed it the most and deserved it the least!

There's this special closeness & bonding I felt with them every time I entered the room. I felt like talking to them. Anything, any crap, any damn thing. But I just wanted to speak to them something. I guess it happens, when you are with somebody a lot of the time. I controlled it often, because I could see them studying, doing work, etc. And yet I grabbed the first moment that I could to chat with them. And they did the same :)

I basically like to chatter a lot (which does not necessarily make me an extrovert as some people like to think!). And I have spent some amazing time chattering with them. We shared a lot with each other, from thoughts to clothes, from books to food, from jewellery to computers. From laughing-till-your-stomach-aches to getting-bored-and-talking-any-crap. From complimenting to bitching. From coffee to water. From maggi to chinese. From happiness to distress. Almost everything. And when we parted, it was like an end of an era. No. It was an end of an era! And I miss those days a lot!! :(

And I will cherish them for the rest of my life!!
God bless them. V & M-If you guys read this, Love you both!

Sayonara!

An interesting evening

Yesterday from around 6.45 pm I met about35 people whom I had never interacted with. Out of them 20 were completely new. And guess what I lasted :) and even enjoyed myself thoroughly. I think it's really fun to get to know new people, when you yourself don't keep any inhibitions/doubts/fears. I think its easy to find people interesting when you are least biased and very open to thoughts & ways which are different and unconventional(if I may) from yours! The key is not to judge and believe that people are actually nice and don't have sly intentions whatsoever!

Anyways, it was a very interesting evening and I loved it! :)

Sayonara!

How true!

It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.

Little Bobby

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at
school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved
to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.
Bobby's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his
behavior over the last year.

"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for
your birthday."

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God
a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God, This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year
and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby.

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote
a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will
be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom
that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had
worked, as Bobby looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner,"

Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked down the street to the church on
the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He
looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up
a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and
ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his
room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper
and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO

Something romantic...

No...I am not going to write any romantic, mushy stuff, so you can take that "Whaaa-Don't-tell-me!!" frown/expression off you face :)

Just found something while stumbling (which is reeaallly cool...try it!) in Firefox....Check it out -

http://dgrin.com/showthread.php?t=60134

Sayonara!

Calvin strikes again!!

And how...!!! :P

Questions!

These questions keep haunting me - what is love really? What is betrayal? Who defines what is that thin line between cheating and not cheating? Or does it just depend on your gut feeling? What do you do when you see yourself being exploited mentally, and see that the culprit has a clean conscience? What is over-reaction, really? Who defines it?
Does anybody have answers to these?

Sometimes I feel whatever is happening is all my fault! Sometimes I feel that, it is not so...
I don't think it's my fault. I will not let myself take the blame.

On a different and a happier note....I am still able to blog..Yaaaaay!!
Gawd..I have no idea what I'll do without it?!!
Here I can say whatever's bothering me, without worrying that it is going to judge me, advice me (sometimes I just need to let my heart out, w/o being consoled, told right from wrong etc.), or do anything!

Sayonara!

A bad news - They are mostly going to block blogging sites (along with checking mails, chat s/w's, and many other sites) in my company!
Booooo hooooooo hooooo :__(

Hence I may not be able to post something/anything for a long time!!

That makes me really really sad :(
My emotional/creative outlet blocked!!

Boo-hoo again!

My morning walk...

Yea that's right!! All those of you who think I'm a lazy bum....well, think again :) ! I am able to get myself enough motivated (thanks to increasing fat :( due to bloody software job) to get up most of the mornings and go for a brisk walk for around half an hour!

Anyways...enough with the touting! So this post is dedicated to that time of my life, when I'm completely alone, absolutely comfortable with myself (no matter how lousy I look!), more or less at peace, and having absolute fun doing my favorite thing. What is it, you ask? Observing people. Just observing! Its fun...try it sometime.

I see such wonderful things on my way to the park. Almost everyday I see many couples of different shapes and sizes and age, walking side by side. I see a father & son pair. I see a lady with two dogs - out of which, one of the dogs (a beautiful & plump Golden Retriever) is very old and walks/limps slowly behind. The other dog (I have no idea what it is, but it looks a lot like street dog) is very active & young, and is most of the times 10-12 steps ahead of these two. Oh ya, forgot to mention, no leash:) . But I always find the second dog wait for the other two at regular intervals before trotting off ahead again!I see another lady, quite small & chubby, with her golden Retriever talking to him in Marathi! And he actually gets what she says to him. I mean its sooo amazing!And ya here too no leash!

In the park I see many people walking, jogging, exercising, doing Yoga etc. It's encouraging! I see kids playing on the swings & slides. It's cute! I see retired people who have come there to exercise. Its inspiring! I see young college-going couples, probably who have come to meet each other under the pretext of exercising/walking. It's amusing!

A million thoughts are running in my mind while observing all this. I think about my future. Plan things about my life. I'm almost determined to have dog of my own! I plan myriad things about my future home. Whether I will be able to execute them or not is a different question. But I will never forget these amazing walks my entire life!

And the most amazing thing happened today. Before that to clarify some basics - my "brisk walk" is very rampant, something like a march-past done quite fast & rigorously! On my way back from the park, I saw a lady who was quite old, thin, standing on the side of the road wearing a neck-belt. She was probably doing her "bit" of exercise. Seeing me come she smiled. When I reached her she looked up and smiled and said "Ashich chaal ayushabhar!(Keep up this walk your entire life!)". I was so happy to hear what she said. It was euphric to see she's indirectly giving me her blessings. And it was the most amazing feeling that I had. I was verrrrrry happy!
Thank you Aaji! (Translation: Aaji = Granny)

I would have paired this with some snaps..but I forget every morning to take the camera. Will try to upload sometime :)

Sayonara!

Ignorance is bliss!

That is soooo true! Sometimes you are better off going till the end, not knowing a lot of "facts". I think our life is more of what we imagine it in our head to be, rather than what it really is. And I think it's better to go on in that if you are happy, rather than knowing the truth(which most of the times does absolutely nothing more than imparting hurt & pain & disillusionment & disappointment) cos even after knowing it, there's not much that you can do about it!

So come to think of it - two people who seem to be living together, are actually living in two different worlds which exist in their minds. And now just increase the count to three, four, millions! This world is actually a collection of tiny little worlds which are intertwined with each other. And each of us has many lives simultaneously, that we lead in our mind, as well as in others'.

Okay I don know anymore what I am talking about! :D

Sayonara!

The poet inside me!

I just can't write poems!I can't. And neither can I understand them, unless they are very, very straight-forward. And how some people can write long verses, understand complicated poetry with analogies, and comparisons is completely beyond me. The only poem that I have written once (they are four lines which rhyme!) was when I thought myself to be in love(!) in high school. Oh well...thats a biiiig load off my head after that confession! :) The one that says I can't understand/write poetry, not the high school love....du-uh...you've been there! :D

Cheers!

Music & Lyrics :D

I was never much into English music until last couple of years. But I still feel that they cannnnot, ever will not(!) compare with the peppiness, shoulder-bouncing-rhythm, spontaneity of dholaks & tablas in our songs. Or the heart-tearing-lyrics. Or the slow, soft, melodious music of Bansuri matched with words I can actually understand the first time I hear them. :)

But, this is of course my opinion! I'm sure many people will disagree and that too not too kindly :D

Some more rantings!

Yeah that's right! I'm feeling disgusted, churned up, just plain shitty to speak plainly. I know the reason. But I don't know how to put it right. I just don't. Have any of you ever felt that your life was so tangled up that it was very very impossible to untangle it, and when you try to do so, you are just tangling things up even more! Have any of you ever felt that, you just couldn't push yourself anymore and would like to just give everything up and walk away from it..you know..just walk away. I wanna do that. I just wanna feel free...feel there's no such thing like friendship, love, relationships to bind me. I mean yeah these things are necessary and important and blah blah blah...but I think they are just way too overrated! For once, I would just love to shrug my shoulders and say "I don't give a damn!". I wish I didn't have that stupid thing called conscience. I wish I was a little less sensitive. I think I'm too sensitive. Yeah, I overreact too.A lot.I wish I was a dumb ass who didn't not understand anything and was just too stupid to understand stuff like feelings, emotions etc. Hey...wait a minute I don't understand all that even now!I think I am a dumb ass!

Confession

I hate somebody. A lot. They say its baseless. I don't think so. I am not that kind of a person. Maybe I am. I don't care. Just that I hate that person. Even before we met. Even before I got to know what that person is all about. After I got to know, even more. After I saw the effect of having that person involved with an important part of my life, a LOT more. I just hate that somebody! Aaaaargghh!

Cute :)

This is really very cute...!

Happy :)

I was just going through my previous posts and realized I have knack to put things on paper when I'm feeling down (maybe cos it makes me feel better sometimes, but sometimes it acts like alcohol!). Anyways, so the point is, that I have rarely noted the normal/happy times.

So here goes - I'm fairly happy right now! Life's looking up. Things are seeming to work out. I am able to understand things better(People may not agree ;)). I'm able to take things lightly. I've loosened up and not dwelling too much on matters which don't really matter for now. I've started believing - people do grow up. I have started accepting people and their differences. I have started understanding when somebody says - "I'm different in that way!". I have started to realize how complicated relationships are. And I've started realising that "happily ever after" can exist only in fairy tales. I've started to believe that "happy" is something which can be valued only if you know what "sadness" is. I believe that "happily ever after" does exist in real life. You just have to see the silver lining and never give up!
In short, I'm happy! :)

Cheers!

About Roses & Love

Although red rose has always been called the symbol of love, I always found in it a tinge of harshness, a drop of cruelty. Yesterday, I got a chance to study a red rose and a pink rose together. I found myself thinking that actually pink rose seemed more like the sign of pure, innocent love, a love which has trust, sharing, warmth, sweetness, togetherness, companionship and affection. It represents a love which a couple share long after the newness of a relationship is gone. It is for me not only the symbol of love that two people share but also the exquisite bond of friendship that exists between them!

Interesting random qoute

"The people people have for friends
Your common sense appall
But the people people marry
Are the queerest folk of all."

- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Universal male fantasy

All guys think (read "like to think") - "duniya ki har ek ladki meri diwani hai!"
LOL :D

The 'Con'quest....

Questions,
they trouble me not;

Conquest, of the answers
Absence, of the answerer
Restlesness, of unanswered quests
These things, disturb me a lot.

I miss home...

I’m feeling very lonely. It’s been a week of terrible loneliness as everyone that I hang out with has been busy/away. And the worst part is if I tell my friends I am feeling lonely, a statement which I had stated once about wanting to be left alone, gets thrown right into my face. And then I’m left wondering that if I’m feeling lonely whom do I turn to? I want to go home…I used to think that friends are everything, but now I think that though friends are very very important, but its your family in the end who will stand by you(and also probably wont taunt you about things you said in the past even if you contradict them) no matter what…I guess I better get used to this stupid thing.

I miss home…

Water - The movie

I saw “Water” recently, and that movie really touched my heart. It does not have many dialogues, no exaggerated emotions, no violence, hardly any glossy showy clothing. But yet, it was one of the most effective movies that I saw since a long time. After watching this movie, I felt that to reach out, you don’t need violence, or gaudy, flashy emotional scenes, but what you need is the truth…..simple plain truth, told in simplest of ways. Another significant thing that hit home, was something that Gandhiji has said – “Mujhe lagta tha ki Ishwar hi satya hai, par mein yeh jaan gaya hu ki satya hi Ishwar hai” (“I always believed that Almighty is the Truth, but I have realized now that in fact Truth is Almighty”). And this movie made this statement suddenly so much meaningful for me, and I couldn’t understand why I was so blind to the greatness of it before.

Do watch it if you get a chance...!

Calvin ;)

Do I have to say anything??!!! :D

Let Me Go...

One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin' through

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Just let me go

And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know who I am
And you love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't know me

~ Let me go by 3 Doors Down

The Professional Life....My take!

Sometimes… okay not sometimes, almost always life turns out to be rather a disappointment when you expected otherwise and vice-versa. I never had big expectations from professional life, but it still managed to disappoint me and sadden me. Yes, you earn money. Yes you are independent. Yes, you can do what you want i.e. if you mange to find time. Sitting here in my office cubicle, I wonder where my life is going. I had always dreamt of becoming somebody important, had always wanted to do new innovative things, which I couldn’t before because I did not want to burden my parents unnecessarily. And here I am, after almost 5 months of professional life, I don’t see much that I have done except for reading many books (though that I used to do before also) and write a lot of blogs.

Everyday I come to office to straight faced strangers I see in the elevator and on my work-floor. The only words of “hi” & “gm” (short for good morning) that I exchange is on chat. I talk to people and joke around, but the only people whom I think are not pretending are hardly two or three. Sometimes I get a feeling that all of us are robots sitting in these four wooden walls, not even finding time to go and see the sunset from the balcony or go to a garden perhaps. Robots, who come alive only when they are chatting on Google talk. Robots who seem human only on weekends. I am afraid that I will turn into one of them. There’s a lot of pretense and strangeness in the air. And it suffocates me and makes me think do I really want such a life. Do all these people want such a life. Isn’t there more to life than eating, sleeping & working?

And while I am at it…Just wanted to share something that I found, something that can only be read about :)

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
" Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye. "

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "
Sorry, I really prefer it this way. "

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.


THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, " I like your style " and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, " Did you get all
that, I don't want to have to repeat it. "

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as " Bob. "

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you " really have to go do a
number two. "

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in " The report's on your desk, Mon. " Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, " Shut up, all of you just shut up! "

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, " As God as my
witness, I'll never go hungry again. "

9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: " See how I
look in tights. " (5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your
boss)

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, " You wanna
trade? "

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: " Do
you hear that? " " What? " " Never mind, it's gone now. "

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, " I can't
talk about it. "

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a
lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and
act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits,
smashing each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Calvin :)

Another one for before the week ends!

Things s/w engineers come up with...

Recently I observed that we the s/w engineers have found a new way of entertaining ourselves, apart from checking mails, chatting & watching miscellaneous funny spoofs in flash :)

Me and my friend came up with quotes of our own (our own does not mean that we keep them on our googletalk status but that we made them up!) -

Falling in love is like free fall; once you start falling not much can be done to break it! - me

Life's a very good lesson, unfortunately by the time you learn it, you can no longer use it. - me

There are more people trying to pull you down than wanting you to go up. So, Effort>=force of gravity! - Deep

Wine, Women and Wealth - The three vices of (un)successful men! - Deep

More of these later...as soon as we again get bored from all the mails, chatting and flash spoofs!!

Cheers!

If it was possible...?

I was wiping my white board, and a thought crossed my mind - What if I could wipe my life like this & start afresh..or atleast wipe out the things which I don't like, things which now as I look back, wish had never happened, things which I feel have given me a lot, but caused even more pain...What if this was possible....?

Calvin :)

Another cute one!!

Poignant words

Pyaar koi bol nahin, pyaar awaaz nahin
ek khamoshi hai, sunti hai, kahaa karti hai...

humne dekhi hai un aankhon ki mehekti khushbu
haath se chhoo ke isay rishton ka ilzaam na do
sirf ehsaas hai yeh rooh se mehsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do...

Making a difference!

I was supposed to catch an early morning flight back to Pune from Chennai today. I reached the airport exactly one hour before the take-off time i.e. at 4.30...yep I reached 4.30 in morning. As soon as I went inside I stood in this long queue for screening the check-in baggage. It was a sluggishly moving line & mostly because passengers of almost 3-4 airlines had to stand in the same queue to get their baggage screened in that single spot. The next queue was to get a boarding pass and check in the check-in baggage. And it was moving very very slow. On top of it, to increase my frustration, I saw a guy (well actually a well educated man of about 35-40) cut the line of the second counter and directly move in the front with 13 bags to check in & to collect 13 boarding passes! And the worst part was that nobody in that line objected!! I mean COME ONNNN!!!!!! I finally got my boarding pass and sighed in relief, cos I knew the next part was simple and does not generally take much time. I was supposed to go for security and then board my flight.

But again, just when you think things are going well, we all know life has a way of screwing things for us. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. There were two (not one but TWO!!) very long queues for security, encompassing almost half of the HUGE lounge. And as luck would have it, I went and stood into just the one which was progressing slowly. I mean its not like I felt the other queue was moving faster, but it was in fact moving faster! I saw our very own policemen do the job of a monitor of class 3rd here, as they were asking people to form a single straight file and trying to stop people from cutting in and go ahead. I mean, they are supposed to be there for security purposes not to discipline the passengers. It’s high time we learn to stand in queue and respect people who are already standing there patiently. You are not the only one in a hurry man!! After an excruciatingly long & painful process of standing in the queue and watching people try to cut in and trying to not let them do that without getting into a row, finally I cleared the security check. As I had already guessed there would be queue to board the flight too, but it was fast-moving and progressed without much hassle (thankfully!). After I finally arrived to my seat and sat there looking out the airplane window to see other planes gearing up to fly in the dim morning light, I reflected on whatever had happened in the last forty-five minutes. I sadly realized that this was happening everywhere. I mean people in India are always looking to cut through any & every queue (physical OR virtual). Instead of doing their jobs, the police of our country have to invest time to discipline a bunch of well-educated citizens, who are in fact just literate but not really educated as they claim to be. And that’s when I decided I am going to write about this. This is a thing that happens with us almost everyday. Sometimes we are the victim, sometimes even the culprit. Sometimes we protest, sometimes we don't. And this post is my effort to make a change in our attitudes, because I believe in this country and it’s potential. I believe that this is a great nation and we can & are moving ahead and this is my contribution to its improvement. I don't want to just sit and crib about what is wrong. And this is my way of making a difference (apart from dissuading people who try to cut in ;)). I will be happy if reading this makes even one person change, because I will know I have not just sat and cribbed but actually gone and done something to make it right. So anybody who's reading this, please please don't do this. Please respect that other people are waiting too and it’s for our own benefit that we follow the rules and discipline. And just imagine, by your little patience you may be making a great difference in the bigger picture!

Cheers!

Everthing is fake

I would like to apologise before starting off this post...as this is another one which falls under my "thinking & depressed" phase....

Anyways...I was just going through my orkut scraps....and suddenly (i dunno y) I thought I'll check some very first scraps of mine. Reading those scraps, I felt how things change over time...how people change! Lately, everyone (except a few) seem to have dropped from this "fake-all-the-time-about-all-the-things" land, where they just show that they are oh-so-concerned when with you, but don't give a damn as soon as your back's turned to them. I mean I may be wrong here....but sometimes it just feels like that. And then it feels so so lonely...as if you can't rely on anybody! I wish I could really see through people.....and know them....and figure them out...so that I can avoid doing and thinking so many things and save myself from so much hurt....

Oh I just wish........

Feeling miserable...

The time when nothing in life seems to go right, not even your own actions, thoughts and words. Now is that time for me. I am feeling betrayed. My closest friend did not trust me enough. Is very happy & excited about something which is just freaking the hell out of me (& he has no clue why?), and in return I have unleashed my reckless tongue on to him!I am worried like crazy about something...didn't even sleep properly last night (and that's a big thing because there are very few things that are capable enough to disturb MY sleep). I am feeling very helpless and just want to run away from here. To top it all, now I'm even feeling guilty about saying such nasty things to him (oh! but he IS so freaking me out) !! I'm sorry :(

Its better if I take my leave from this place, so that it is peaceful for some time!!

Something about Love

An excerpt from the book – Oliver’s Story (sequel of the famous “Love Story” by Erich Segal, both are absolutely beautiful books)

I really like how “love” is perceived in this –

A little background- the hero (Oliver) is recounting. He has lost his wife (college sweetheart) – Jenny, whom he was totally and madly in love with. So much that he couldn’t move on for whole of 2 yrs after her death…and in some ways still misses her. He’s in another relationship right now with Marcie/Marce but somehow he’s not that happy and is trying to analyze why…

What the hell do I know of relationships? All I've ever been is married. And it doesn't seem appropriate to make comparisons with Jenny. I mean, I only know the two of us were very much in love. At the time, of course, I wasn't analytical. I didn't scrutinize my feelings through a psychiatric microscope. And I can't articulate precisely why with Jenny I was so supremely happy.

Yet the funny thing is Jen and I had so much less in common. She was passionately unimpressed by sports. When I watched football she would read a book across the room.

I taught her how to swim.

I never did succeed in teaching her to drive.

But what the hell — is being man and wife some kind of educational experience?

You bet your ass it is.

But not in swimming, driving or in reading maps. Or even — as I recently had tried to recreate the situation — in teaching someone how to light a stove.

It means you learn about yourself from constant dialogue with one another. Establishing new circuits in the satellite transmitting your emotions.

Jenny would have nightmares and would wake me up. In those days, before we knew how sick she was, she'd ask me, genuinely scared, 'If I can't have a baby, Oliver — would you still feel the same?'

Which didn't prompt a knee-jerk reassurance on my part. Instead, it opened up a whole new complex of emotions that I hadn't known were there. Yes, Jen, it would upset my ego not to have a baby born of you, the person that I love.

This didn't alter our relationship. Instead, her honest qualm provoking such an honest question made me realize that I wasn't such a hero. That I wasn't really ready to face childlessness with great maturity and big bravado. I told her I would need some help from her. And then we knew ourselves a whole lot better, thanks to our admissions of self-doubt.

And we were closer.

'Jesus, Oliver, you didn't bullshit.'

'Did the unheroic truth upset you, Jenny?'

'No, I'm glad.'

'How come?'

'Because I know you never bullshit, Oliver.'

Marce and I don't have that kind of conversation yet. I mean, she tells me when she's down and when she's nervous. And that she worries sometimes when she's on the road that I might find a new 'diversion'. Actually, that feeling's mutual. Yet strangely, when we talk we say the proper words, but they trip out too easily upon the tongue.

Maybe that's because I have exaggerated expectations. I'm impatient. People who have had a happy marriage know exactly what they need. And lack. But it's unfair to make precipitous demands of someone who has never had a . . . friend . . . that she could trust.

Still, I'm hoping someday she will need me more. That she will maybe even wake me up and ask me something like:

'If I can't have a baby, would you feel the same?'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beautiful, isn’t it? Simple and Beautiful!!

I wish people wouldn't force their loved ones into being them, but rather appreciate the differences and love each other FOR it.

Cheers!

Calvin :)

I love Calvin & Hobbes.

This is one of the really funny ones.

India V/S India

There are two Indias in this country.

One India is straining at the leash, eager to spring forth and live up to all the adjectives that the world has been showering recently upon us.

The other India is the leash.

One India says, give me a chance and I’ll prove myself. The other India says, prove yourself first and maybe then you’ll have a chance.

One India lives in the optimism of our hearts. The other India lurks in skepticism of our minds.

One India wants. The other India hopes.
One India leads. The other India follows.

But conversions are on the rise. With each passing day more and more people from the other India have been coming over to this side.

And quietly, while the world is not looking, a pulsating, dynamic, new India is emerging.

An India whose faith in success is far greater then its fear of failure.

An India that no longer boycotts foreign-made goods but buys out the companies that make them instead.

History, they say, is a bad motorist. It rarely ever signals its intentions when it is taking a turn.

This is that rarely-ever moment. History is turning a page.

For more than half a century, our nation has sprung, stumbled, run, fallen, rolled over, got up, dusted herself and cantered, sometimes lurched on. But today, as we begin our 60th year as a free nation, the ride has brought us to the edge of time’s great precipice.

And one India – a tiny little voice at the back of the head – is looking down at the bottom of the ravine and hesitating.

The other India is looking up at the sky and saying, it’s time to fly.


This was published on front page of "The Times of India" on 1st January, 2007. Gave me goosebumps when I read it.
Very touching, very inspiring!

Cheers!

To kill a mocking-bird - Harper Lee.

Pulitzer-prize winner for fiction.
Harper Lee’s only work.
Story is told from the point of view of Jean Louise "Scout" Finch (age- 6), the young daughter of Atticus Finch, a lawyer in Maycomb, Alabama, a fictional small town in the Deep South of the United States. She is accompanied by her brother Jem and their mutual friend Dill.

“I never expected any sort of success with Mockingbird. I was hoping for a quick and merciful death at the hands of the reviewers but, at the same time, I sort of hoped someone would like it enough to give me encouragement. Public encouragement. I hoped for a little, as I said, but I got rather a whole lot, and in some ways this was just about as frightening as the quick, merciful death I'd expected.”

—Harper Lee, quoted in Newquist—1964

Its rare to find a book that you just cant put down, but even rarer that a book touches your heart so deeply by its simplicity and greatness that you almost feel your heart pounding the same way it did every time you saw that someone special in high school. Please excuse the irrelevant reference to high school, as the book has absolutely nothing to do with that. That is something that all of us remember significantly, hence the comparison. The book according to my take is not one story; it’s about many incidents that life consists of! It is so very clear from the book that what we are is because of what we go through. Never did I construe so clearly that children become whatever they do because of how their parents are! To summarize what it is about – it is about a family – father (Atticus Finch), son (Jem, age-10), daughter (Scout, age-6). Atticus is a lawyer; the children are what children are like. Atticus is defending a black, which is almost a crime at that time in the society which consists of racist white community. Scout is the one who is narrating and I think that is the best part of it all. You see everything from her eyes and wonder how an innocent six year old can be so sensible sometimes. And that is all that I’m going to say about the book because you have to read it to feel what I did. It’s the sheer simplicity of the characters which ultimately is so intriguing.

Some excerpts -

"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit them, but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird. Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

“You never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.”

“When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness’ sake. But don’t make a production of it. Children are children, but they can spot an evasion quicker than adults, and evasion simply muddles them.”

And lastly a confession – I fell in love with Atticus by the time I finished the book. Other characters are lovable too, but the father…oh boy! A must read for all book-lovers!! Please please read it as early as possible!

A lovely thought!

Jab tak rishtey mein ehsaas barkarar hai, tab tak jhagde mayne nahi rakhte - Quoted by one of my very good friends!!

What a delightful thought....Jus wanted to share it with everyone :)

The Rickshaw Driver who stunned me!

“Yes?” Said the rickshaw driver whom I had just stopped flashing a hand on a small-time street in Malad (Bombay)! Stunned I looked into a face sporting a clean shaven look with a neat moustache, soft brown eyes and a kind look of a man in his late 30’s, yes he did look like someone who would seem like a decent guy had I seen him in normal circumstances. But English coming from the mouth of a rickshaw driver??!! It was really hard to digest. I ignored it as I sat into the rickshaw thinking anybody can say yes and no! I was just settling down and digging into my bag for my wallet when I suddenly jerked forward and heard him yell “SHIT!! These traffic jams!” I was more shaken by his statement than the sudden jerk!

Still I consoled my confused and shocked mind by thinking maybe he just picked the line from somebody! After some more distance we saw a woman with 2 kids waving a hand in a hope to stop the rickshaw. She immediately left the effort once she saw I was in it. What happened next was something which I had never expected to see in my life! He slowed the rickshaw and offered the lady “Come on, we’ll drop you till the main road”. I was speechless for a long time after that. Upon asking him about this he said he’s just learning English because sometimes he gets only-english-speaking customers. Its hard to believe but all my conversation with him was in English thereafter! He told me where he lived, showed me a college and a school on the way. He was not only a rickshaw driver but also a delightful guide during the journey (however short it was!)

That ride is till date the most remarkable of my life!

Not only his grasping power and the determination of mastering the language greatly impressed me, but also his politeness and chivalry. I wondered if he had got education in a good school and more opportunities in life what heights would he have reached! It made me realize too that maybe I should more appreciate the opportunities that I have got in my life and make something worthwhile out of it. We always complain about the things that we don’t get; the facilities that we don’t have; keep saying “I would have done it if I had this and that”! What did he have? Not even any guidance from anybody. But he still managed to speak the language as good as anybody out of a Convent school! That is something!!

This posting is for you- “Rickshaw-Driver-Who-Speaks-Very-Good-English”; my way of appreciating your efforts. A standing ovation!

Cheers!

Straight From The Heart!

As a child I always used to wonder what its like to be grown up…to know and understand everything…to earn and even know where to spend…I always thought it was so glamorous! Obviously this is not how it turned out. Being a grown-up is not all that fun after all. Come to think of it, we were probably more sensible as kids because we understood less. Sounds confusing, doesn’t it? Think a little and it’s crystal clear. We had a lot of innocence but more importantly we had fewer egos. And that’s what made all the difference. Why are there more tensions, more stress and more hassles when in fact our understanding of emotions has increased? Reason being at the same time our emotions have increased manifold!!

I often wonder what it will be like if we didn’t have so many emotions. Probably we’ll have lesser fights with our spouses, parents, friends; lesser grudges against those whom we cannot fight with. And more peace of mind….

My best friend did not tell me that she got a job. I was hurt; still am. But after a while I also started wondering why I am angry that she did not tell me. Instead won’t things be much better if I was happy about the fact that she got a job. My friends keep getting angry with me that I did not tell them this or that. Keep fighting with me about it. I know it hurts. That’s only natural. But I wonder how things would be if we forgot all these things and only react to things that actually happened. I wonder what it is that makes us react this way. Our ego? Or the fact that we care too much about that person? I don’t really know. And I don’t really think there’s an answer to this question…Each one has to answer his own question….

I read an excellent book recently-“Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. Morrie is dying. He knows it and he’s trying to make the best out of what is left of his life-by living every moment, by trying to help others know what it is to know that one is dying, and what it is to live!!

He says-
Once you know how to die, you know how to live….
After reading this book I realized that all that matters in the end is not which one of your friends shared with you first and which ones didn’t, but that you have friends and family with you.

PS:Above things seem really obscure but they were thought provoking for me. I don’t know how much I could put them into words, but ya I did try!!

Cheers!!

“Tough times have scientific value; good learners should never miss them”

Do I agree? I don’t know…But I have surely believed strongly that if something goes wrong with my life I will face it without shedding even one tear. As you can all guess this is not what happened. My life changed in one day, in a simple visit to doctor. I like being independent. I couldn’t be after that one visit. I valued then on what I had taken for granted all along-being normal. It was a tough time. Since then it has been a rough ride. I miss being me, I hate being pampered because of that, I missed a big opportunity because of that. Did it hurt? You bet! It was devastating! But it passed away. At least the feeling that all is lost. But the pain is still there somewhere at the back of my mind. I try not to think of it very often, but it comes back every time I have another setback. You know what the worst thing about humans is- we remember a lot! And mostly the bad part. And we have a habit of adding everything up and then assessing our life. Obviously after that it seems that our life is a living hell. You forget the good things that happened in between. Even I do, after all I’m human too. Those are the worst times. Many nights I go to sleep with tears rushing down my cheeks. But then again every morning brings a new hope.

At the beginning of all this, I was thinking very negatively. Wondering why am I the one who has to face all this? Why can’t I have a normal life like others? Slowly I got tired of thinking like that, yes tired! I’m no great person who can think positively even at the time of crisis. But then I thought to myself, I have to live with this, no matter how much I crib to myself, no matter how long I mourn! I was tired of pitying myself! I started looking at this as an opportunity that life has given me. To get some new experience, to take a break from a fast life, to stand and watch life pass by, enjoy it as it goes, not regret later that I didn’t get time. I started feeling better immediately! I changed my outlook. I started feeling happier. I started feeling alive again.
But sometimes I feel the depression coming back. This morning I got this in mail-

God will not give you a burden you cannot handle…
If you ever find yourself in a mess that you cant resolve…Take it as a compliment.
God thinks you can do it.

I’m taking it as a compliment….
Cheers!